TOMMY LEE CAN'T HANG!

Let me fill you kids on some of the things that happen behind the scenes here at Metal Sludge.

We get a shit load of emails everyday that we either ignore, delete, or ignore, but occasionally we get something that peaks our interest.

On Janauary 21st, Jani Bon Neil got an email from Tommy Lee. It appeared to be a mass email to half the planet about his new CD. Now being the bitter fuck I am, I probably would have deleted it without even reading it, because honestly, what can Tommy Lee say to me that's going to make me care? But Jani Bon Neil, being one of the few at this page who actually wants Metal Sludge to be successful, reads all his email like a good little boy. He deals with all the "rock stars" while I hardly even want to deal with him. Anyway, Tommy's email is listed below:

http://www.joysmayhem.com/listen/new_listening_party.html

Hey FREAKS!!.......The new CD is finally DONE!!!!...........
Come hear clips from my new CD "Never a Dull Moment"
Enjoy, Take your time and let me know what ya think on the site!!!........

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One Love
Tommy Lee

Since Tommy emailed Jani Bon Neil, Jani decided to ask Tommy if he was up for a Rewind. Obviously Tommy wanted to share his enthusiasm for his new CD with Jani & Metal Sludge, so perhaps he was down for a Rewind. Who knows?

Here is Jani's email and Tommy's reply.

To: "TOMMY LEE" <mrmethod@hotmail.com>
Subject: Interview
Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002 17:36:53 -0500

>Tommy,
>Are you up for another interview with Metal Sludge, since you did email us and all.
>
>Jani Bon Neil

OH HELL YEAH!..........YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU FUCKHEADS OVER THERE!

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One Love
Tommy Lee

Now we noticed a little bit of sarcasm in that reply, but we took it at face value and figured, why not? We'll pitch Tommy some balls and see what he does with them. He can either hit them out of the park or he can strike out. And being that I'm writing this you can probably figure out that he struck out.

But before we get to that, here are the 28 questions we sent him. Our questions weren't even that harsh. We could have been way ruder than we were, but we knew Tommy was a fucking hothead, so we tried to be somewhat professional because we just wanted the interview back. This could have been a great interview had Coolio Junior had a sense of humor.

So Sludgeaholics, here are the 28 Rewind questions that Tommy couldn't handle.

1. What's the dilly-yo? This is your only change to drop any 411 you want. CDs, tours, websites, all that shizznit.

2. Name 3 things that really piss you off and 3 things you really like.

3. Rumor has it that after you get done touring for your new Methods Of Mayhem CD, you'll get back with Motley Crue. Any truth to that and do you think you will ever get back with Motley?

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should be put onto a boat, sent into the ocean, and blown up?

5. Rate the following drummers on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who's whack and 10 being the bomb diggity!
Joey Kramer =
Bobby Blotzer =
Stephen Perkins =
David Silveria =
John Otto =
Blas Elias =
Rikki Rockett =
Fred Coury =
Bun E. Carlos =
Randy Castillo =
Samantha Maloney =
Lars Ulrich =
Dave Grohl =
Vikki Foxx =

6. What do you think the reason is that bands like Bon Jovi and Aerosmith can still put out new records and go Platinum, but Motley can't? Why do you think Motley isn't on top of the mountain anymore?

7. How do you feel about Pamela saying you're not a good dad when she goes floating down a river with Kid Rock, your kids & a bunch of ice cold beer.

8. Hypothetically speaking, if you could have anyone locked in a room so that you could torment them for a day, who would you choose, and how would you torment them?

9. Why isn't Tilo in the band anymore? Was he not "tight" enough?

10. This is the last of Tommy Lee:
Last book you read =
Last time you smoked pot =
Last time you talked to Pam without wanting to slap her =
Last 80s hairband CD you listened to =
Last porn star you had sex with =
Last movie you saw =
Last time you talked to Bobbie Brown =
Last concert you attended =
Last magazine you bought =
Last toys you bought your kids =
Last rock star you did drugs with =

11. You've fucked Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Jenna Jameson, Heather Locklear, Bobbie Brown, and too many others to mention. For all those dorky, loser dudes out there who can't pick up chicks, what's your best
piece of advice on how to bed a hottie?

12. Who's the most overrated band today?

13. If you went back to Motley, what is the one thing you would change about the band if you could?

14. How does it feel having Kid Rock go from singing on your 1st MOM CD to sleeping with your ex-wife?

15. Which do you prefer:
Ja Rule or Jay-Z =
Slaughter or Winger =
Carmen Electra's Tits or Jenna Jameson's Tits =
Gene Simmons or Blackie Lawless =
Insane Clown Posse or Kottonmouth Kings =
Carson Daly or Riki Rachtman =
Pantera or Disturbed =
Bret Michaels or Richie Sambora =
Busta Rhymes or LeAnn Rimes =
Dr. Feelgood Drum Solo or Girls Girls Girls Drum Solo =
Doug Thaler or Doc McGee =

16. If you could go back into your past and fuck anyone one more time, who would it be?

17. We're going to list 3 names. You're going to have to kill one of them, fuck one of them, and marry one of them. Here are the 3 names, so let us know who gets what.
Britney Spears
Jenny McCarthy
Donna D'Errico

18. Has Tommy Lee ever:
Regretted a tattoo =
Had anal sex =
Wished you never followed Pamela to Cancun back in 95 =
Seen Mick Mars with a hard-on =
Had a finger in your ass =
Wanted to spend the day eating at Hooters, getting drunk, and playing golf =
Thought Rikki Rockett was an incredible drummer =
Used a penis pump =
Sang along to a Britney Spears song =
Bounced through Compton in a lowrider while sipping on Gin & Juice =

19. When was the last time you talked to Vince Neil and what did you talk about?

20. What do you remember about touring in following cities:
Phoenix =
Las Vegas =
Denver =
Detroit =
Chicago =
New York =
Boston =
Atlanta =
Dallas =
Tokyo =
London =

21. Hypothetical Question:
You walk out of a trendy nightclub with some hottie and a bunch of paparazzi are taking your picture. What do you do?
A: Kick the nearest photographer in the balls and power bomb him in the street.
B: Ignore them, go to your car, and drive away.
C: Slap the chick you're with because it's her fault the photographers are there.

22. Nikki told us that he doesn't remember punching you in the face at the Lexington Queen in Tokyo back in 1987. Do you remember this and do you have any idea why Nikki punched you?

23. You were married to Heather Locklear in the height of Motley's decadence. Is it safe to say that Heather partied just as hard as you sometimes?

24. When you hear Vince's voice today, what exactly goes through your head?

25. Honestly, when was the last time you did the following drugs:
Heroin =
Cocaine =
Pot =
Speed =
Crystal =
Cigarettes =
Alcohol =
Xstacy =
Prozac =
Morphine =

26. You played in a rock n' roll band that sold millions of records, made you a multi-millionaire barely out of your teens and gave you the chance to be with some of the most beautiful women in the world. What made you decide
to start speaking in Ebonics, wearing dreadlocks, hanging with 'gangster' types and rapping about growing up in the slums?

27. Do you think you'll ever be white again?

28. Time for Metal Sludge's Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Marty O'Brien =
John Corabi =
Bret Michaels =
Sebastian Bach =
Metallica =
Scott Ian =
Ozzy Osbourne =
Doc McGee =
Sam Kinison =
Howard Stern =
Sum 41 =
Bob Rock =
Axl Rose =
Dave Mustaine =
Vince Neil =

Now wouldn't that have been a cool interview? Fuck yea it would have been! This could have been one of the best interviews we had ever done had Tommy actually been smart enough to answer them and put some effort into it. The fact is, Tommy is too temperamental....90% temper and 10% mental.

Here is the email Jani got back from Tommy a few hours after the Rewind went out.

----- Original Message -----
From: "TOMMY LEE" <mrmethod@hotmail.com>
To: <jani@metal-sludge.com>
Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2002 9:22 AM
Subject: Re: Metal Sludge Rewind Is Here!

EAT A DICK!


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One Love
Tommy

Eat a dick?

Look dude, just because Pamela is eating Kid Rock's dick and not yours is no reason to be bitter at us.

You have no problem spamming endless people a link to listen to your half assed, played out, bandwagon songs, then you reply to our request to do a Rewind, and when you get the questions you tell us to Eat A Dick? What exactly is your malfunction? I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Only God Knows Why you're such an angry asshole. You like to pretend you're an American Badass but in reality you're just a Devil Without A Cause. Maybe if you didn't have a Fist Of Rage and weren't Drunk In The Morning, Pamela wouldn't have had to Move On and take that Lonely Road Of Faith out of your life.

I guess our questions are good enough for Alice Cooper, Ted Nugent, Dave Mustaine, Nikki Sixx, Lonn Friend, John Kalodner, Paul Gargano, and the rest of the music industry, but they're not good enough for a silly white millionaire in his 40s who grew up in a middle class family but talks in Ebonics and thinks he's black.

What type of questions did you expect from us? Did you expect questions that kissed your ass and said how great you were? We weren't that bad. For example, we didn't call you a wife beating wigger who's a bad dad to his kids. Nope, we wouldn't say something like that. We were actually nice! Well as nice as we could be.

But if you think about it Tommy, maybe you were right in not doing a Rewind with us. You wouldn't actually want fans to find out about your new CD and actually impress people with your answers, right? Why try to come off looking good for a change? Why have fun with something that would reach your target audience? Why try to reach the very people that would be interested in buying your worthless piece of plastic you call a CD? Why try to expand your fanbase and show the world that you have a sense of humor and you're not a hothead. You wouldn't want to do anything that would actually make sense!

I find it funny you end your emails with "One Love," as if you are Mr. Love and happiness. I didn't know love included beating people whenever you get pissed off. I must have missed that day in school.

It's good to see your anger management glasses really paid off, huh?