MONSTER MAGNET "Monolithic Baby!"
by Dana Brittingham

Cover: 5 Horseshoe Magnets out of 10
White background. A big speaker cabinet. The planet Saturn. And some kind of circuit board standing up, reminiscent of the black monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Perhaps that's why this cover has a Stanley Kubrick kind of feel to it. Oh yeah, standing in front of all this, wearing sunglasses, are the guys in Monster Magnet. The singer guy is holding some kind of long white stick, not unlike something you'd see a blind person using to navigate a sidewalk. The other guys are holding onto their guitars. But wait -- where's their drummer?

Booklet: 7 Refrigerator Magnets out of 10
It's a 20 page booklet and it's pretty well put together. Everything is printed in black and white, except the front and back covers, but the paper quality is above average. It must be a higher bonded glossy coated cardstock and is very thick. I think I could even tow my car with it. Inside are thanks, credits, and all the lyrics interspersed with photos of circuit boards, a guitar, the top part of a chick's ass, a highway with palm trees in the background, that planet Saturn again, individual band member shots, and one group photo in the center. Again, it's just the 4 Monster Magnet guys from the cover, sitting on a couch, but without any drummer. Where did he go?

Songs: 6 Chick Magnets out of 10
I've never quite been able to put my finger on Monster Magnet. Are they grunge? Are they cock rock? Groove metal? Stoner music? What?! If you're trying to pigeonhole this band into a genre, this CD will confuse and muddle your efforts even further. If you're already a fan of these guys, or perhaps a kitten, you'll probably lap up Monolithic Baby! like a bowl of warm milk. If you've never been able to stand this band, then you probably won't like their new album either. However, if you're on the fence about these guys, you may want to check this out before concluding your opinion of M.M. I found myself getting into a few of these songs much more than I thought I would. The best tracks, in my opinion, are the disc's first single, "Unbroken (Hotel Baby)," an unapologetic nod to sex with chicks with low self-esteem, as well as the song "Supercruel," whose lyrics aren't all that different from "Unbroken." Both these songs have a cock-rock vibe with tons of energy and I was really surprised at how much they grabbed me the first time I heard them. Other songs that aren't too bad are "Monolithic," "Ultimate Everything," and the very Sabbath-like "Radiation Day." Plus, how can you not like a song called "Slut Machine?" Surprisingly, Monolithic Baby! contains 3 cover songs: the Velvet Underground/Lou Reed classic "Venus in Furs," a relatively obscure track from Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmore's first solo album called "There's No Way Out Of Here," and another called "The Right Stuff." NO, that's not a cover of the New Kids On The Block classic (though I would've loved to hear Monster Magnet do that!). It's actually a song from former Hawkwind singer Robert Calvert's first solo album from way back in 1974. I don't know shit about Hawkwind except that Lemmy was in that band before he was in Motörhead. Also, the American release of this disc includes 2 bonus tracks: that Lou Reed song and "King of Mars 2004," a heavier re-make of a song that appeared on Monster Magnet's 1995 album Dopes to Infinity. Anyhow, some of these songs are cool, some are ho-hum and most are somewhat in between. But why would anyone give a fuck what I have to say about it? Listen to it and judge for yourself.

Comments: I must admit I'm a bit surprised that Monster Magnet has been around as long as they have, considering their first album came out way back in 1990. They've survived major changes in the music industry, record labels, band members, fashion trends and lack of radio support in all kinds of markets. How do they do it? By sticking to their guns and not compromising whatever values they adhere to, I suppose. Maybe that has something to do with M.M. leaving A&M Records and moving camp to the European-based label SBV. Anyhow, the players jam with a post-grunge stoner rock kind of style, though you can hear elements of old KISS and Sabbath woven amongst the riffs and chords. Longtime drummer Michael Wildwood also plays on this album, but he either quit or got kicked out of the band before this album was released. Aha! That's why he's not in any of the photos. He's since been replaced by former Raging Slab skinbanger Bob Pantella. And singer Dave Wyndorf still sounds pretty much like he always has: a voice that is sometimes gritty, sometimes smooth and soulful -- metaphorically like sandpaper coated with KY Jelly. Plus he looks a lot like John Kay from Steppenwolf. Perhaps I've just hit the nail on the head -- with their blend of hard rock and psychedelia, Monster Magnet could very well be a modern-day Steppenwolf.