JASON HOOK "Safety Dunce"
by Doro Jett
5 Mandy Moores out of 10
Let's face it, Sludgeaholics may be the only people still interested enough in the past to get the joke of the title (Remember the midget from the video for "Safety Dance"? Yeah, I knew you would!)And for someone who's gotten as much press for their looks as Hook, it might have sold better with his mug smiling out, so I guess we should give him props for not going the easy route. Besides, what's funnier than a cripple falling out of its chair? Well, maybe a midget cripple.
10 Hilary Duffs out of 10
Automatic 10 for the Metal Sludge props, of course. Other than that, nothing to recommend--looks like it was generated someone's color printer. The thank you's are a little bit blurry, and there's nothing, really, in terms of notes, but hey--it's all instrumental, it's not like there's lyrics for this shit.
Lindsay Lohans out of 10. *
I admit, this CD grew on me. My first listen, I was prepared to dismiss it completely out of hand as your basic masturbatory exercise in self-indulgence. But a six-pack later, I was air-guitaring like fuck and noticing the similarities between "Beaucoup Movement" and Satriani's "Summer Song". And while the title track is a little bit gimmicky, it's still interesting to hear the sort of things that come out of Hook's fingers when he's not limited by 20 years of Crue history.
* (But if Hook were actually attempted to sing on this disc, the songs would only get a 5/10, so it’s a good thing he keeps his trap shut.)
Comments: Instrumental albums by whizkid guitarists are a dime a dozen. But this one will only run you $6.99 if you order it from www.jasonhook.net and it's not anywhere near as bad as it could be. If nothing else, it's a fun little treat to toss at your sister or gay roommate who only knows who Jason Hook is from seeing him play with various teen-dream poptarts. If you, however, miss the days of Mike Varney's stable, you'll absolutely love this.