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I need to say a few things before I review this. Unfortunately,
Sanctuary Records didn't send us a copy of this pile of shit to review,
which on their part was a smart move. No reason to just give us great
material! So I actually had to buy this. I had to drive to the store,
open up my wallet, and pay for this fucking thing. The only reason I
bought this piece of shit was to review it for the page because I knew
our Sludgeaholics would be expecting a review from me. It took me about
20 minutes to actually walk over to the CD rack and pick it up because
I was just disgusted at the thought of having to pay for this and give
Gene an album sale. I believe I threw up twice on the way to the counter
due to the embarrassment of having this in my hands. I finally told
myself that I needed to look at this like a comedy record so I could
justify purchasing it.
Cover: 6
Assholes out of 10.
It's Gene standing in the middle of a room in
a suit surrounding by chicks in various states of undress. It looks
like he's in a whore house, and believe me, these chicks look like whores.
A few are cute but some look like they've been slapped in the face with
a dick a few too many times.
Booklet: 5
Assholes out of 10.
The credits are written out by Gene who goes into
a lot of detail on who played on what track, when things were recorded,
etc. That's kinda cool. The lyrics are all here and there are a few
photos of Gene looking old. I could do without the closeup of the fat
chick's ass on the back of the booklet though. That's really fucking
disgusting.
Songs: 2
Assholes out of 10.
It gets a 2 for the 2 songs that are semi-decent on here, and that's
probably being generous. The best song on the record is the first song
called "Sweet & Dirty Love." It's basically a Kiss song
since Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer play on it and Paul Stanley does
background vocals, though Paul isn't mentioned in the credits as doing
so. You can easily here him though. "Sweet & Dirty Love"
sounds like something that could be on "Revenge." The other
song that is semi ok is "Weapons Of Mass Destruction," which
also has Bruce and Eric on it. It's an ok song though the chorus sucks.
The rest of the record blows dirty goat balls and I'm not even trying
to be funny. I think if you put this CD under a goat, it would literally
blow the goat. It sucks that much. "Firestarter" is a cover
of the Prodigy song and is basically Gene doing karaoke. It's the same
fucking song and I don't care if Dave Navarro is playing guitar on it
or not, it sounds the same as the original. It's like an old guy trying
to be hip. It's not working. "Asshole" is a sad attempt at
trying to have a modern rock sound and the lyrics make anything off
Bret Michaels' last CD sound like a Billy Joel or Elton John song. In
fact, most of the lyrics on this record couldn't sound more juvenile
if they were written by a 5 year old. I know Gene is all excited about
having Bob Dylan contribute to the song "Waiting For The Morning
Light" but after hearing that song, I think it would have been
better if Bob Denver contributed to it.
I really don't feel like going into the rest of the
disc. Trust me, it sucks. If this CD was a crime, the crime would be
punishable by death.
Comments: I really
can't say enough bad things about this. I could sit here for days and
talk about how putrid it is. Some people have said that Gene took a
chance with some of these songs since they're totally not what you would
expect from him, and those people who say that can fuck right off. There's
no reason that this needed to be released on the general public. He'd
be better off releasing spores of the Anthrax virus then putting this
out because a case of Anthrax is less harmful to people then listening
to this.
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