1 Sheet of Blotter Paper out of 10
What the hell! It's just black words on a white background. They read,
"Uncle Max's Cosmic Band," with the album title in smaller letters
underneath. And that's it!
1 Gel Tab out of 10
Giving this booklet a 1/10 rating is being extremely generous. It looks
like someone made it on their home computer in Word and printed it out
on a cheap bubblejet. There is a low resolution color picture on the
back of the booklet of the band guys, along with some really basic musician/production
credits. There's nothing on the inside of the booklet! Nothing at all!
Add to that, the booklet's spine is folded in the wrong place, so you
open it up from left to right instead of right to left. Because of that,
it gets all bent and fucked up when you try to slide it back into the
Eye Hits out of 10
I totally don't know what to say about these songs. They have kind of
a 60's vibe going on, what with the Hammond organ and all. The retro
60s thing can be sort of cool if done well, like when Smash Mouth first
came out, but these guys are sloppy and way too experimental sounding
to achieve a cohesive sense of melody or song structure. And production
quality? Most of the songs sound like they were recorded in a pole barn.
The vocals are flat and generally out of tune -- kind of like the Doors
might've sounded if they were all tripping too hard to perform (which
I'm sure actually happend on occasion). The song titles are trippy too,
such as "Auntie Ray's Box of Magic," "Gasoline Rainbows,"
and "Green River Death Boogie." Still, this disc is largely
unlistenable unless you're peaking after having dropped several purple
microdots. I was totally going to give the songs on this disc a flatout
1/1 rating, but I decided to sleep on it before I wrote up this review.
And as unbelievable as this may seem, this really did happen: in my
dream I had that night, I was tied to a chair in the middle of a makeshift
operating theatre, and this whacked out surgeon guy with a bald head,
thick plastic rimmed glasses and tons of tattoos was cutting open my
legs and I was forced to watch the entire proceeding. I couldn't do
anything to stop it because I was all tied up, and all I could do was
look down and watch the tops of my thighs being butterflied like jumbo
shrimp. The surgeon cut all the way down to the bone with really sharp
things and it was absolutely terrifying. But here's the kicker: the
entire time, there was a song from THIS VERY CD playing in the background.
The song was called "James Brown Band" and the lyric that
stood out went "Gina was a background singer / In the James Brown
Band / Movin' in the background, groovin' / Rollin' all across the land
/ In the James Brown Band." Upon first listen of this disc, I had
never even paid attention to the lyrics, but now I remember it clear
as day. Now that's some fucked up shit!! If this disc wants to get noticed
so badly that it has to haunt me in my dream, well fuck it... I'll give
it a few extra points just on principal. Freaky shit... but totally
Comments: Uncle Max's Cosmic
Band is fronted by former Circus of Power singer Alex Mitchell. All
I remember about Circus of Power is the chick in that video for the
song "Motor" was kind of hot. They also had a song that appeared
in the Tom Hanks movie "The Burbs." (So did Jetboy, if I remember
correctly.) Well, since the debut Uncle Max CD was released, the band
has added a second guitarist and renamed themselves 'Fat Nancy.' They're
also currently in the studio recording a new CD. I, uh, can't wait for
that one!! And I seriously promise to listen to it if Alex Mitchell
doesn't fuck with my head by visiting me in my dreams anymore. Please!