Cover:
7 Cab Drivers out of 10
It's a picture of Neil Turbin. Duh! He looks quite metal in his crossed-arms
pose, plus he's got a cool belt buckle with a skull on it.
Booklet:
10 Belt Buckles out of 10
It's a 10-panel fold out style booklet. There
are tons of lyrics and liner notes. Featured in the background of all
but one panel is a photo of Neil himself. In some of the poses, he's
wearing the same outfit as on the cover; in others, he's got on this
white frilly pirate shirt. Yaaarrrrrr! But no matter what he's wearing,
he's still got that same belt buckle with the skull on it. Neil is a
sexy, sexy man. So why does this booklet score 10/10? In the 'special
thanks' section of the booklet, Neil gives props to "Bastard Boy
Floyd, Jani Bon Neil and all Sludgeaholics at the #1 metal site: Metal-Sludge.com!"
That was truly cool of hm to include that. Although he forgot to thank
Dana Brittingham, but perhaps he'll remember that in his sophomore solo
CD, due for release around the year 2020.
Songs: 8
Towel Turbans out of 10
We've actually had this CD sitting around for a few months, but nobody
seemed to get around to listening to it. What can I say -- we're lazy
fucks. Then the other day I gave this disc a good listen, and I'm glad
I did. It really exceeded my expectations. Well, I didn't really have
any expectations, but that's beside the point. Anyhow, the album starts
of with a few old school thrash metal numbers, not at all unlike early
Anthrax, but then Neil spreads his vocal wings and infuses some bluesy
crooning into his speed metal compositions. By the fifth song, he starts
drifting towards an old-school metal sound, kind of like early Riot
or Icon or something. The song "Wrecking Ball" could have
even been a KISS song from back in their Hotter than Hell days.
Perhaps the song I like the best is the most old-school sounding of
all, a track called "Rat Race." For some reason, Neil's voice
sounds a little like Joe Lynn Turner's on this song. Makes me want to
hear him cover an old Rainbow song like "Stone Cold." Speaking
of which, Threatcon Delta has a few cover songs -- Jimi Hedrix's
"Dolly Dagger" and the AC/DC classic "Touch Too Much,"
demonstrating Neil's breadth of vocal stylings for all to hear. The
players on this disc are all very skilled; in addition to Neil's band,
this disc also features a ton of Neil's friends as guest musicians,
including people like Lonnie Vencent, Jeff Scott Soto, Tommy Gunn, Sean
McNabb and just about all former members of the band Rough Cutt. Production
isn't the best I've ever heard, but it's not terrible either. Besides,
the songs themselves make up for all that, due to the varied styles
keeping my interest perked the entire time I'm listening to this album.
Comments: Former pre-Joey
Belladonna era Anthrax singer and 20
Questions alumnus Neil Turbin is a full blown Sludgeaholic, so we'll
give credit where credit is due. Having mentioned that, it took Neil
about 17 years to finally release his first solo disc. Was it worth
the wait? Well, you might not have noticed, but because of Threatcon
Delta, the balance of the cosmos has shifted and the world is now
a far better place than it was. The very fact that this disc now exists
has ensured maintenance of the moon's natural orbit, repelled asteroids
from imminent impact with our planet, kept the polar ice caps from melting,
compelled Jani Lane to quit Warrant, thwarted several terrorist attacks
on U.S. soil, and caused the entire Iraqi arsenal of biological and
chemical weapons to vanish from the face of the earth, thereby making
the world a safer place for all mankind. Now that's one powerful fucking
CD. You can even ward off vampires with it! Better than any magical
amulet or talisman, I implore you to keep a copy on your person at all
times. You'll live a long life and will be glad you did.
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