Cover:
10 Strippers out of 10.
This is truly a state of the art cover. We can't believe no other band
ever thought to do this. There are four individual pictures of each band
member in each corner of the CD. This is the type of cover that catches
your eye and lets you know these guys aren't playing games! Truly ahead
of it's time.
Booklet: 10
Cock Craved Groupies out of 10.
The booklet is jam packed with photos of each
band member, along with a list of some of their favorites, like favorite
color and favorite food, things their fanbase desperately wants to know.
It also lists their influences. Rachet says Lita Ford was an influence
on him because "I always wanted to fuck her."
All the lyrics are included and each band member gives their thanks.
Singer Michael Diamond even thanks Metal Sludge! Rachet thanks C.C.
DeVille "for inspiring me not to practice
so much." It's a well put together package that a lot of
people won't be able to grasp because it's just too overwhelming.
Songs: 9.9
Vaginas out of 10
This debut from the four most metal men in the entire music industry
is a must for you. If you're reading our page, then you need to have
this CD. End of story. You're a total dick if you think otherwise. After
hearing this disc you'll swear it's 1985 all over again. You'll even
put on spandex and feather your hair before you go to the store. From
the opening groove laden licks of "Big Boobs" to the ever
melodic juggernaut auditory assualt of the Whitesnake like radio friendly
"Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)," this release is packed full of
more hooks than Jason Hook's tackle box. There are some comedy breakdowns
between songs and throughout..."by the way, you got some coke?"
Rachett shows off his skills in "Hells On Fire" and it
has so many George Lynch meets Jeff LaBar riffs that it will leave you
to ponder,"this sounds just like that Cinderella song, or is that
Dokken?" The songs are so good and so close to 80s metal perfection
that you'll swear Desmond Child co-wrote the whole album and Tom Werman
produced it.
The lyric of the century on the soon to be Billboard Top 40 smash hit
"Stripper Girl" is "...take my
cock into your backdoor, I wanna fuck you you fucking whore."
This quality work is what will seperate Metal Shop from the fading metal
attempts of balding men strewn throughout the 818 area code and beyond.
Deductions are as follows. Billy Squire "Stroke" is back ground
music during the "Stripper Girl" comedy intro. Hey guys, that
cost you .05 so why not a Krokus tune or maybe Autograph. There will
also be a .05 deduction for the use of ebonics on this recording. Michael
Diamond uses the ebonic "axed" instead of "ask."
Very inner-city. That is the Tommy Lee side of metal that can not and
will not be accepted.
The track listing is as follows:
1. Satan's Intro
2. Big Boobs
3. Is It Hot In Here?
4. Hell's On Fire
5. Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)
6. Michael Falls In Love
7. Stripper Girl
8. Ginger Pusses Out
9. Metal Shop
Comments:
A quote from Taime "Sex" Slaugher - "As I sat in the
Metal Sludge lunch room eating a Hot Pocket today I heard bastard boy
floyd's stereo blasting as usual. However, today was much different.
Instead of hearing the latest Fozzy CD or the new Carrot Top comedy
mix, I heard what sounded like a mix between "Shout At The Devil"
and "Look What The Cat Dragged In." I peaked my head in and
saw the CD case, it was bright, colorful and the logo read - Metal Shop.
It changed my life."
A quote from Ozzy Stillbourne - "Wanna
know why Axl's "Chinese Democracy" didn't come out this year?
Because he heard Metal Shop had a CD coming out and he didn't want to
compete with them. Believe that! He knew that there was only room for
one metal masterpiece this year, and that belongs to Metal Shop."
A quote from Donna Anderson - "I
wanna offer up my vagina to Metal Shop so they can spray their baby
gravy all over my luscious breasts."
A quote from Jani Bon Neil - "Don't
think that we're just saying all this because we're currently selling
the Metal Shop "Hole Patrol" CD at our Sludgendise
Store, because we're not. We really enjoyed this CD, and for $12
at THIS
LOCATION, you can enjoy the same pleasure we did. Do yourself a
favor! Do your friends a favor! Get this CD now before it's too late!"
Yes,
I want my copy of Metal Shop's "Hole Patrol" for only $12!!!
CLICK
RIGHT HERE!
Or
if you'd like the Metal Shop CD and a Metal Sludge T-shirt of your choice
for only $25, CLICK RIGHT HERE!
|
