4 Tidy Bowl Men out of 10
Wow. It's a picture of a bathroom. There's a toilet and a sink. And in
the sink, instead of a drain-hole, there's a mouth. I don't get it. Guess
I'm not supposed to.
3 Tidy Bowl Men out of 10
It's an 8 page booklet, full-color, though most of the pages have a
pale green color to them. There are a few pages of lyrics and credits
and shit, but it's in that overused grainy typewriter font and it's
very hard to read. There's a picture of the band members using the bathroom,
and the back of the booklet has a posed photo of all the guys in the
band. One guy has a mohawk, but the rest look pretty clean-cut, and
they're all wearing suits and ties to be cool. And Iann Robinson says
anyone in a band who wears a tie to be cool 'should be 'shot in front
of people they care about.' I couldn't agree more.
Tidy Bowl Man out of 10
With cool song titles like "Pogo the Clown," "Worm in
a Dog's Heart," and "Fetus on the Beat," I was expecting
something at least marginally tolerable. WRONG! These songs fucking
blow. Period. It's an eclectic blend of jazz, ska, goth, death metal,
and circus music, yet none of it is cool. Leave the 'out there' experimental
stuff to seasoned pros like Mr. Bungle or something. This disc sucks
so bad that I had to take a 10-minute break for every 30 seconds of
listening to it. I couldn't in good conscience recommend this disc to
even my worst enemies. I'd rather shoot them... and everyone who had
anything to do with making this CD.
Comments: This is the first
CD review I've written for Metal Sludge, and they're forcing me to do
it. I think it's someone's idea of a sick fucking joke to break me in.
A proper hazing would be making me change the oil in Floyd's ice cream
truck, or going to Walgreen's and buying tampons for Donna Anderson.
Anything but a Dogshit Fashion Disco CD! Fuck those guys! And fuck the
staff at Metal Sludge for making me listen to this pile of crap!