FOZZY "HAPPENSTANCE"
by Jani Bon Neil
Cover: 7 Arthur's out of 10.
It's a picture of a book with Fozzy on it, it's smoking, and it says "Happenstance." It sucks you in right away and lets you know, "Hey buddy, this is metal, the way it was supposed to be written."

Booklet: 10 Stuck Mojo's out of 10.
Unlike Poison's last CD, Fozzy actually thanks us! Actually, they thank me and Metal Sludge and request an FU Award! We're even somewhat high up in the thanks, though we are AFTER Beautiful Creatures but ahead of Paul Gargano, so that's good. The booklet also has the lyrics for the 4 original Fozzy songs, and each band member gets his own page for thanks and whatnot. There is also a page dedicated to Fozzy mascot Arthur and his disease Swinus. All in all the best booklet any band has ever put out, and that even includes any Perris Records CD!

Songs: 9 Sick Speeds out of 10.
Any CD that has "Balls To The Walls" on it should be a good CD. This not only has "Balls To The Walls," but WASP's "L.O.V.E. Machine," Judas Priest's "Freewheel Burning," Iron Maiden's "Where Eagles Dare," The Scorpions "Big City Nights," and Black Sabbath's "The Mob Rules." Fozzy singer Moongoose McQueen sounds like a vocal God on all these tracks, and it's no surprise considering at one time he was the voice teacher for both Bruce Dickinson and Rob Halford. Guitarist Duke LaRue has a very identifiable guitar tone that makes Dimebag Darrell sound like C.C. DeVille! The rest of the band doesn't really matter, but they play well enough.
The four original Fozzy songs are so advanced and well written that the typical human ears won't be able to handle the perfection. You're used to hearing the same shit over and over again so your brain isn't equipped to handle how well crafted these songs are. Over time, you'll come to terms with what you are hearing and it will no doubt change your life and everything you believe in! Or as Paul Gargano would say, "A CD that detonates a rhythmic depth charge that pulsates your soul, sucking us into the despair that lies in its wake, and the groove ladden title track rocks with reckless abandon!"

Comments: Probably the best CD ever made, though the Wild Boyz' "Unleashed" CD comes in a close second.