METTLE "Sensitive" (1991)
6 Ounces of Liquid Marble out of 10
It’s a typical 80s metal album cover. You get the vibe that it’s generic on purpose, and it probably is. Featuring a rotting corpse’s head, not unlike Iron Maiden’s mascot Eddie, but with sunglasses, dangly earrings, and a bandana. Parts of the band’s logo and album title appear in polished steel, riveted metal, and blood. Quite metal looking, but there should be some kind of nudity or something a little more offensive. Surprisingly, this cover does not at all bear the Parental Advisory stamp. Don’t know how they got away with that, but they did!
Cups of Baby Paste out of 10
Quarts of Oyster Stew of 10
Comments: Rumors have circulated for years that people such as Coverdale, Bon Jovi, Billy Idol, Jeff Scott Soto, Dweezil Zappa, a session drummer named Chris Ralles and some producer guy named Charles Pavlovsky were somehow secretly involved in the project, and, in recent years, a few folks out there have either ‘claimed’ or downright admitted to being associated with this recording. Well, what’s the truth? Who are the people responsible for this lampoon of 80s metal clichés? Do you really want to know? Well DO YOUR OWN FUCKING RESEARCH!!! I’m sure as hell not going to tell you. Everyone knows the music industry is run by the mob and I sure the fuck don’t want to get my legs broken over a band named ‘Skräpp Mettle.’ You fuckers think I’d spill that easily? Not even if someone shoved a glass catheter into my cock-hole and threatened to drop a brick on it!
(To be honest, if I find myself in a situation in which someone’s actually holding a brick above my schlong, I might very well change my mind. But it’s the principle of keeping a secret that counts.)
All in all, Sensitive is a party rock album that’s both celebrating and spoofing the entire genre. Not unlike Metal Shop’s Hole Patrol, these tunes are, overall, catchy rock songs, with excellent musicianship and killer vocals. And the lyrical content is simply hilarious. The bottom line is that every Sludgeaholic should own this CD, period. But good luck finding it – it’s been out of print for years.