3 Anabolic Steroids out of 10
What is that, a black and white pic of Sylverster Stallone circa 1984?
No, it's Kane Roberts, sticking out his pecs through his wife-beater shirt
and sticking his chin up in the air. You do get a nice view of his adam's
apple though. This cover would give you a hard-on if you were a vampire,
but it doesn't do much for me.
Nolvadexes out of 10
It's an 8-panel foldout, mostly devoted to more black and white photos
of Kane. He's chewing on a buzzsaw in one of them! Someone should tell
him that's not too good on the teeth. Kane's teeth that is, not the
buzzsaw's. There are no lyrics, but 2 of the panes are used up with
the words "Bad Boys Want Salvation." What does it mean? And
why are a whole 2 panels devoted to that? Bad boys want lyrics, not
salvation. The credits and production notes only get one and a third
panels, and the type is so small that it's impossible to read without
a magnifying glass. That having been said, the photography is pretty
good, and since it's Kane's solo album, you'd expect to have lots of
pictures of the muscle man. I've definitely seen alot worse.
Testosterone Suspensions out of 10
Kane Roberts was Alice Cooper's guitarist on the "Constrictor"
and "Raise Your Fist And Yell" albums, so if you're familiar
with those works, you'll know that Kane's certainly got chops and skill.
However, I've always felt that Kane plays with all the passion of a
construction worker jackhammering a sidewalk. If you liked the guitar
sound of those Cooper albums, you'll probably like his work here. It
sort of sounds the same in parts. The difference this time is that Kane's
the one singing, not Alice. And Kane isn't all that great of a singer.
He's certainly capable in most instances, but he's kind of rough in
spots and he's literally screaming those high notes. It sounds like
he had some help in the studio and I wonder if he could pull off some
of these songs live. Every one of these tunes was co-written with hitmaker
Desmond Child, most noted for generating some of the biggest hits in
the 80's and 90's by KISS, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, Michael
Bolton, and a ton of others (including Ricky Martin's "Livin' La
Vida Loca")... so did Kane end up with any hits on his solo effort?
No. It's not that they're all bad tunes, but they end up sounding kind
of generic. The worst song on the whole disc has to be "Does Anybody
Really Fall In Love Anymore?" - a song also co-penned by Jon Bon
Jovi and Richie Sambora. Why this was released as the single, we'll
never know. It's really pretty hard to listen to. To add insult to injury,
Cher also recorded this song on her 1989 album "Heart of Stone."
Something's just wrong with that.
Comments: Kane hasn't done
a solo album since "Saints and Sinners," so maybe he learned
his lesson. He did do some work a few years ago with side projects Phoenix
Down and Flesh FX, but has really devoted himself to his multimedia
and graphic design work. He's still maintained a close kinship to Cooper;
in fact, Kane designed the artwork and packaging for Alice's "Brutal
Planet" album. I would've predicted that Kane would've gone into
acting - I thought he was great as the posessed power company worker
in Wes Craven's "Shocker." It's not that "Saints and
Sinners" is altogether terrible, but it just comes off as very
average. These songs would be 10 times better if Alice Cooper was singing
them. Except for that Bon Jovi song... that one just plain sucks.