RANDOM THOUGHTS ON
ANOTHER STUPID PRESS RELEASE
Last Spring I got what I thought at the time was the stupidest press release I've ever read. It was for the Rock Never Stops tour. But I might have been wrong! This one might just take the cake. Where it takes the cake, I don't know.
It was sent to us by former Beautiful Creature's guitarist Dj Ashba. It's so good, even Taime "Sex" Slaughter wanted to get involved, and that's saying something. My comments are in red and Taime's are in gay purple.
Dj Ashba To Deliver
Highly Requested Industry Debut To NYC
Dj Ashba Hot On The Track To New Label Deal
LOS ANGELES - On Wednesday, Sept. 25th, Dj Ashba will deliver to New York City great, does he work for Pizza Hut or Dominoes? his "rock star" looks, his famed lightning guitarwork, and his raspy, dirty and always sexy vocals Rock star looks? Always sexy vocals? Is this written by a real publicist or some chick who posts on the Ho Board? as he fearlessly leads his highly anticipated new band into the realm of 'label-land'. Next door to 'label-land' is 'dropped-land' which is North of 'unemployed-land.' I believe Dj will also visiting these lands too. Dj and his new band will perform, at the request of several major labels, a private industry showcase at S.I.R. (520 W. 25th St.). good idea to put out a press release with the exact address of this 'private' showcase. That was done in hopes of having some girls camp out there waiting for him, so when the record execs show up they'll think he's got something going on. Last month, Dj packed Los Angeles' Viper Room for the band's W. Coast debut, Impressive, especially since the place only holds about 150-200 people max. Fuck, Metal Shop pack the Viper Room every Monday night. If you can't "pack" the Viper Room then you shouldn't even be in a band. proving he is back on the scene and ready to take on the rock world from where he left off only months ago. Where is that, the bargain bin? The last band he was in was dropped only months after their CD came out and their label invested over a million dollars in them. I would certainly hope if he's coming back that he has higher expectations then what happened last time around.
Former lead-guitarist, co-founder and writer for the ex-Warner Bros. band Beautiful Creatures, Which is about as impressive as saying, "Not only do I run the drive-thru, but I mop the floors too!" What kind of credibility does 'former', 'co' & 'ex' establish here? Dj Ashba has been exceptionally active over the last few months as fans, the industry and the press watch to see what will be the next move for the kid who's known for his onstage antics and incredible musicianship, adding a fresh modern edge to the world of rock. Sorry to piss on your candles, but the fans, the industry, and the press are watching to see what happens to Britney Spears, or Eminem, or even Axl Rose! Nobody is waiting around to see what "the kid" is going to do. By the way, "the kid" turns 30 in November. We're all watching to see if this 'fresh modern edge' will cost well over a million dollars again but only sell equally to the latest indy release by Warrant
As if in response, Dj has answered the call with a massive amount of energy, enthusiasm and productivity that has garnered him increasing visibility and credibility, and made his loyal and young (meaning naive teenage girls) fanbase even more zealous and anticipatory. was the word 'anticipatory' really necessary here In the last half year:
· Dj wrote, performed, recorded, edited
and mixed 25+ new songs
Dj also continues to grow the massive success
of his website, www.djashba.com, by engaging fully with his fans. He
not only hosts and manages the site, but personally answers over 200
fan e-mails a day.
In support of Dj and his fans, endorsers Ernie Ball/Music Man and Line 6 will each provide professional gear (combined $3,500 est. value) marked up 1000% to $3,500 for the jackasses who shop at Guitar Center. Actual value $350 as the Grand Prize for a contest beginning on the website in late September. An autographed Music Man Axis electric guitar and a Line 6 Flextone amp and floorboard will be awarded to the site's registered user who delivers the most unique hits to www.djashba.com by placing banners or links strategically across the Web. So this contest is encouraging spam. Great. If Dj's getting so many hits, why does he need to do a contest like this? Maybe we should just direct all our award winning traffic to Dj's site so we can win a shitty amp. Says Line 6's Tim Godwin, "Dj is just f***ing cool. He is bringing great songs and guitar playing back into rock." Oh well hell, if Tim Godwin is saying that then it must be true!
Adds Ernie Ball's Greg Timmons, "Ernie Ball/Music Man has a history of working with the best guitar players in music, from Keith Richards and Eric Clapton to Steve Lukather and Steve Morse. Dj is considered a player who will someday join those ranks." that was the most absurd quote I've ever read in my entire life. Ovation states simply, "Dj Ashba IS rock and Roll."
Publicity Contact (including show list info):
Julie, I guess if you're related to Kevin than we can see why your mouth is overflowing with shit. But if your not please turn in your 'press' credentials at once and return to waiting tables at Big Boy.
Katie, we haven't seen quality management like this since Paul Gargano took over Beautiful Creatures. Maybe you two could become the next Doc McGee/Doug Thaler genius management team!
This entire press release sounds like shit you'd hear at the Rainbow from some band guy. You know the guy. He always has "something" going on and "label interest" and "big things are happening." Right. There's a guy like that in every town and in every band. To summarize this press release, it's just saying Dj Ashba is doing a showcase for some labels. WOW!!! Bands are doing label showcases every day of the week. Try sending out the press release once you're signed because if you don't get a deal, you just made all of this look like a joke.
I can see the record label execs rolling their eyes after reading a press release like that. People aren't stupid and if you've been in the business for any length of time you can read through all that shit. All a press release like that does is set you up to be a failure. Dj is a talented guitar player, but he better not start believing the hype his publicist and manger feed him or they're just setting him up for a fall.
OZZY STILLBOURNE & Taime "Sex" Slaughter