Poison's Bret Michaels

Before we got Megadeth's Dave Mustaine to be our surprise 3rd Anniversary 20 Questions, we originally went after Bret Michaels. We figured between Rikki Rockett & Intern Lori, we would somehow be able to get Bret to do 20 Questions, right? He even said the following about Metal Sludge in a USA Today interview that, "Personally I think it's hilarious. I enjoy reading Rikki's diaries, and enjoy the tongue-in-cheek quality." So hell, if he thinks we're hilarious and enjoys the tongue-in-cheek quality, he'll do 20 Questions! Why not?

Well guess again. We sent the questions out to both Rikki & Intern Lori on July 29th, 2001. That way, it gave Bret just over a month to work on the questions. More than enough time. Lori sent them off to Bret's people and then never heard back from them. Despite numerous attempts again and again to get an answer one way or the other, Lori still couldn't get a response. Obviously Bret doesn't want to do 20 Questions, and we can't say we're surprised. Bret's too much of a control freak and wants to be in control of every situation. Plus most of his interviews suck because he sugar coats everything and avoids any hardball questions. Has anybody ever heard Bret talk about his hair? Fuck no. He wants you all to think he's got a full head of hair. So he pretty much wants to avoid half of the questions we asked. We even threw him a few softer questions in the beginning to warm him up for the shit we'd hit him with towards the end.

So we tried Sludgeaholics! Luckily Dave Mustaine came through and we were able to give you a great 20 Questions after our 3 day weekend.

Here are the questions that Bret pussed out on.

1. What are you up to? This is your only chance to promote your projects, websites, tours, etc.

2. Why has it taken you so long to do 20 Questions with us?

3. What are your thoughts on "rock stars" who wear sandwich boards and ask fans for money? Don't you think the fans have paid enough and that only makes the band look bad?

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up?

5. Rate the following singers on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who sucks donkey balls and 10 being somebody who rules.
Kevin DuBrow =
Donnie Vie =
Jani Lane =
Tom Keifer =
Sebastian Bach =
David Lee Roth =
Phil Lewis =
Jizzy Pearl =
Rob Halford =
Stephen Pearcy =
Vince Neil =
C.C. DeVille =

6. Have you talked to Jani Lane at all during this entire tour?

7. Robbin Crosby formerly of RATT has admitted to having full blown AIDS. We all know that a lot of rock stars have shared some of the same groupies throughout the years. What is your take on this very serious matter and how has this affected you?

8. How has your diabetes been lately and have you had any problems lately?

9. When you were dating Pamela, how long did it take you to get into her pants?

10. Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a bucket of pig shit and 10 being a hottie.

Susie Hatton =
Bobbie Brown =
Gerri Miller =
Pamela Anderson =
Lita Ford =
Brandi Brandt =
Courtney Love =
Britney Spears =
Sharise Neil =
Susie Owens =
Kendra Jade =

11. Sebastian Bach walked off an interview on Much Music after the VJ compared Poison to Skid Row. Sebitchian thought that Skid Row fans were not Poison fans. What is your opinion of this?

12. Rikki Rockett recently hit on your teenage daughter at a show a few weeks back.
Our questions are:
A: Has Rikki hit on Raine yet?
and
B: How many total kids do you have?

13. Back in 1991, Tuff recorded a song called "Wake Me Up" and credited you as the writer. A short time later it came out in Hit Parader, Music Connection, and some other magazines that you didn't write the song but some other band did. What was that all about? Are you taking credit for things you didn't write?

14. What do you remember about writing the following songs?
Rock Like A Rocker =
#1 Bad Boy =
Look What The Cat Dragged In =
Look But You Can't Touch =
Back To The Rockin Horse =
Face The Hangman =
Come Hell Or High Water =
The Scream =
Mr. Smiley =
Power To The People =
Rock Star =

15. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

16. Back in 1986 Poison was opening for Quiet Riot and they even kicked you off the tour at the very end. What happened back then and what is the current status of QR & the Poison camp during the GSMJ tour?

17. Is there a reason why you show off your abs in every single promo photo?

18. Are you secretly happy that Samantha 7 didn't take off?

19. Isn't it safe to say that ideally you wouldn't have wanted to take Warrant out this Summer but the promoters sort of forced you to take them out?

20. Which do you prefer:
Go Carts or Dirt Bikes =
Korn or Limp Bizkit =
Amish or Menonites =
Playboy or Penthouse =
Blink 182 or Sugar Ray =
Martha Quinn or Carson Daly =
Situps or hanging leg raises =
Aerosmith or Kiss =
Fake tits or real tits =
Tesla or Def Leppard =
Being faithful to your chick or banging groupies =

21. How long did it take you to write the lyrics for "Rock Star."
A: 30 seconds
B: 1 minutes
C: 2 minutes
D: CC wrote them

22. Has Bret Michaels ever.....
Regretted a tattoo =
Jacked off in traffic =
Touched another man's penis =
Had Bobby Dall serve you a hotdog =
Had a fan rip your headband or hat off =
Considered suicide =
Banged a chick in the Rainbow =
Had any plastic surgery =
Worn a wig or hair extensions =
Had your fake teeth fall out on stage =

23. What seems to be the problem with all of these bands still in their half assed reunion faze. What is your take on bands like RATT playing out with revolving members like L.A. Guns & Quiet Riot did for a few years?

24. Ric Browde said in an interview not too long ago that CC DeVille sang on a lot of "Look What The Cat Dragged In" and that basically you had a weak voice. What do you have to say about what Ric said?

25. What was the purpose of doing your own tribute record to Poison?

26. Why is it at the end of your shows the top of your head is never sweaty and looks totally dry? Would that have anything to do with you wearing some sort of hair system?

27. Time for Metal Sludge Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Ric Browde =
Richie Kotzen =
Gene Simmons =
Tommy Lee =
Kid Rock =
Jani Lane =
Nikki Sixx =
Blues Saraceno =
Ted Nugent =
Matt Smith =
Tuff =
Dana Strum =
Ron Jeremy =
Charlie Sheen =

So if Bret's reading this, dude, you dropped the ball. Fans would have loved to see you answer these questions. But instead, you tucked your headband between your legs and ran away. Bummer.

I guess we know what rock stars have the balls to face the tough questions, like Jani Lane did, and which ones say they're down but are really full of shit.