DON DOKKEN SHIT TALKS METAL SLUDGE!

Thank God for Don Dokken because he's given me the motivation to post. And guess what, you don't even have to pay extra to read it! Fuckers.

This is also a historic post because I've come up with another new award that I'll debut at the end of the post. Don't be a dick though and scan to the bottom of the page to see what it is. Read the whole fucking post first. Don't be so impatient.

Here's the gig. Don Dokken just did an interview and he said negative things about us. There is nothing I hate more than somebody who talks shit and has a negative attitude!

This is the link to the interview were Don talks shit about us, http://www.angelfire.com/rock/e4/dokkenint.html. It's from some site called Rock N Roll Experience at http://www.rocknrollexperience.com.

Jani Bon Neil tells me that recently we tried to get Don to do a Rewind with us and he turned us down. We were told that he was "done" with us. Done with what? It's not like we ever really did anything with Don other than 20 Questions back in February of 2000.

Anyway, here is the part of the interview where Don talks smack.

Rock N Roll Experience: Have you ever seen the website Metal Sludge & what do you think of it?

Don Dokken: Yes, It's useless, it's crap...it's like the National Enquirer, it's just crap, talking about who's got hair, who dick is smaller, what the f*ck is that all about? Who screwed who, who's got herpes, it's just a couple of teenage girls that work out of their basement, It's nothing that I wanna get involved with, I did my 20 questions & I'm done with it, It has nothing to do with music....it's like Mad Magazine

Sounds like somebody's a crab apple! Can we be any more bitter?

What's up with Don talking shit? What have we ever really done to Don Dokken? We've always been fairly decent to Dokken. Maybe he's just grumpy because Jeff Pilson is playing our Metal Sludge Extravaganza 4 on March 2nd at Paladino's and he's not. Who's knows?

Lets go over a few of Don's silly comments.

Yes, It's useless, it's crap...it's like the National Enquirer, it's just crap, talking about who's got hair, who dick is smaller, what the f*ck is that all about?

Well Don, I guess if you had a big dick that girls were raving about all over our Penis Chart then you would be happy. What guy doesn't like a girl's attention? Unfortunately for you, that's not happening. You also wear a synthetic hat that you refer to as your hair. And most girls don't dig Sy Sperling devices either.

Who screwed who, who's got herpes, it's just a couple of teenage girls that work out of their basement

Teenage girls? Let me ask you a question Don. How many teenage girls do you know that have a clue as to who Dokken even is? Exactly. Zero.

And if we're teenage girls, then these teenage girls have put together the most infamous and well known rock site on the planet. Not bad for a bunch of teenage girls in a basement, huh?

It's nothing that I wanna get involved with, I did my 20 questions & I'm done with it, It has nothing to do with music....it's like Mad Magazine

First of all, thanks for comparing us to Mad Magazine. That's a compliment since Mad Magazine was an influence of ours and has some creative writing. Had you said we were like Circus Magazine or Hit Parader, then that would have been an insult.

As for us not having anything to do with music, that's funnier than your hairpiece. Last time I checked, we review CDs, concerts, and also report news that is mainly music related. We also report actual SoundScans and Ticket Master attendance. We've also been featured in music magazines such as Spin, Metal Edge, Kerrang, Classic Rock Magazine, and on VH-1. Not bad for a site that has "nothing" to do with music.

People like Don Dokken are funny. They're our biggest fans when everything is nice, but the second they get their balls tugged on for a second, they get all bitter. Don emailed us on January 13, 2000 and wrote, "I've been looking at the Metal Sludge site and find it VERY COOL." So at one time we were VERY COOL, and now we're just crap? Guess Don has been wearing his rug a little too tight on his head and it's cut the circulation off to his brain.

And speaking of Dokken, "Wild" Mick Brown just did 20 Questions with us! He did an audio interview with Wendell Neeley last weekend in Cincinnati, and we should have the transcript of his 20 Questions up soon. Apparently Mick doesn't have a problem with us, but that's probably because the guy has a sense of humor, or was on crack and didn't know what he was doing. Eh, whatever.

So in honor of Don's stupid comments, I'm giving him the first ever "How About A Nice Cup of Shut The Fuck Up."

Congratulations Don! Now go back to playing half empty clubs.

I'm out like half of the original Dokken lineup,

OZZY STILLBOURNE & Metal Sludge