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21 QUESTIONS WITH...
The World Wrestling Federation's Chris Jericho!
The other day we got an email from Chris Jericho that said, "This is Chris Jericho from the WWF. I get a kick out of your site and would love to do a 20 question segment." Now for those of you 3 or 4 people who aren't up on wrestling, we'll give you stupid bastards a brief summary of who Chris Jericho is. Actually, fuck that, go to www.chrisjericho.com to find out who he is. All you need to know is that he left World Championship Wrestling a few months back and is now in the World Wrestling Federation. He just made hisW.W.F debut last week in Chicago, and many are saying that he has the potential to be even bigger than Barry Horowitz and S.D. Jones!! No shit! Chris also started a cover band a few months back with some of the guys from Stuck Mojo and he called it Fozzy Osbourne, which sounds a lot like Metal Sludge'sOzzy Stillbourne, but we'll let that slide. Anyways, Chris is totally up on the metal scene and knows what's up. So we sent him 21 Questions cause we felt he deserved 21 Questions instead of our usual 20. I'm sure after this interview, Jericho will go onto to heights even bigger than Stone Cold Steve Austin, and we can sit back and take all the credit for it! Metal Sludge, making wrestling stars for the new millennium. Enjoy!
1. What are you currently up to? This is your own chance to plug all your shit, such as PPV, websites, etc.
CHRIS JERICHO: What have I been up too? Have you been living in a WCW cave? I've been starring and entertaining on WWF RAW IS JERICHO! Go to www.chrisjericho.com for more info.
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2. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
JERICHO: There's a number of them. Motley Crue after they lost Tommy, Scorpions, L.A. Guns, Quiet Riot. Any band that isn't even trying to create anything new or original.
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3. You have to pick one of the following and live with the consequences. What do you pick?
A: You get an incurable goiter on your neck that looks like you tried to swallow a squirrel;
Or,
B: Eric Bischoff is bitten by a squirrel and dies from a horrible seizure brought on by rabies.
JERICHO: Godspeed Mr. Bischoff. Try not to get any foam on me. |
4. What wrestler is the biggest pain in the ass to work with and why?
JERICHO: Taz, very concerned that he looks good at all times.
5. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would it be?
JERICHO: Any girl that Jerry Dixon has screwed. He's the God of Thunder daddio!
6. What was the best rib (practical joke) you were ever involved in?
JERICHO: When I drunkenly stripped ring announcer Dave Penzer in the lobby of a Philadelphia Hotel. It was secretly filmed by Hard Copy and it appeared on national TV! |
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7. 2 Part Question, so please try to pay attention. What rock star and what wrestler deserve the biggest smack in the mouth?
JERICHO: Any band guy who dresses and acts like it's 1986 and people still give a damn about them (i.e. Kevin Dubrow, Stephen Pearcy) and Goldberg
8. You MUST choose an answer. No if's, and's, or but's.Signing your real name and address, would you:
A. Write a threatening letter to Bill Clinton (thereby placing yourself on the FBI Watch List.)
B. Write an erotically charged love letters to Mark Madden and Vince Neil.
C. Write to your parents confessing the truth about the most offensive sexual act you?ve ever engaged in.
JERICHO: I choose A. It's better than having my Mom kick my ass for sexual deviance.
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9. Do you get a lot of groupies?
JERICHO: Every town I go to I pick up the best looking chick in the city...at least that's what I tell anyone who wasn't there the next day! |
10. Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a Bertha Faye, and 10 being a hot piece of ass. Feel free to add any comments if you wish.
Sable (Oops, we mean Rena Mero) =6
Neve Campbell = 4 - Skinny legs
Sunny = 5
Britney Spears = 9 -great boob job!
Fabulous Moolah = 10
Pamela Anderson = 9
Gorgeous George = 8
Lita Ford = In 1988 - 10 Now - 2
Debra = 7
Jenny McCarthy = 2 - Too unclassy
Ms. Elizabeth = 2
Jennifer Love Hewitt = 8 - dump the dweeb VJ first
Terri Runnels = 8
Courtney Love = 3 - for her tits only
Stephanie McMahon = 5
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11. What wrestler should just give it up and call it a day?
JERICHO: Hulk Hogan for obvious reasons. Pass the torch first though!
12. Other than your WCW entrance music (which was basically Pearl Jam in disguise), what wrestler has the worst entrance music is the business?
JERICHO: The lyrics of Mr. Ass's song are ridiculous. I like to touch em/I like to lick em/ I like to sniff em...something along those lines.
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13. Once again, we are making you pick one of the following. Which is it?A. Your next feud will be with Ahmed Johnson, which will kill all your heat and will ruin your career (plus you'll probably end up with numerous injuries);
Or,
B. A prison riot will erupt in Nairobi, killing 30 inmates and 3 guards.
JERICHO: I'll work with Ahmed. A wrestler of my enormous talent can make anyone look good and have an entertaining match as well.
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14. You've probably seen a lot of wrestlers dicks in the shower, so who has the biggest dick, and who is kind of on the small side?
JERICHO: I always stare straight ahead in the shower. But I'd say that Too Cold Scorpio, Vincent and Bad News Alan are in the running. Smallest.....that would have to be me. |
15. When you wrestled in Japan, did you ever visit any of the Japanese Bath Houses? (It?s ok if you have, we won?t think any less of you.)
JERICHO: I went all of the time. Japan is the only country where my penis is enormous!
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16. Here?s another quality Metal Sludge 2 part question. Who are the most overrated band and the most overrated wrestler today?
JERICHO: Limp Bizkit is bloody rotten! I don't see why Paul E is making such a fuss over Justin Credible.
17. What hard rock/heavy metal album did you buy that you were most disappointed in?
JERICHO: X Factor-Iron Maiden and Load-Metallica. I like them better now, but when I first got them I couldn't believe how bad they were! |
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18. Who is a bigger pain in the ass to deal with: Eric Bischoff, Kevin Nash, Konnan, Goldberg, or Hollywood Hogan?
JERICHO: Bischoff...he's supposed to be the boss.
19. For $500,000 cash would you: Have someone?s spit from a spittoon (the result of tobacco dipping) inserted via an enema into your own butt. Then release the contents of your butt into a glass. Chug that and you?ve got the $500,000.
JERICHO: No way. I get royalty checks that large and I don't have to enter or eject anything out of my ass for it!
20. Other than yourself when you sang for Fozzy Osbourne, who's the weakest singer in rock?
JERICHO: My vocal brilliance rivals only Blaze Bailey, I'll have you know!!
| 21. Time for Metal Sludge's World Famous Word Association! We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts.
Eric Bischoff / misled and clueless Sebastian Bach / genetically created to be a Rock star
Hulk Hogan / bald and obsolete
Warrant / Maybe time to call it a day
The Rock / best promo man of all time
Tommy Lee / Huge horn, great looking wife
Outback Jack / best gimmick ever
Helloween / favorite band
Stone Cold Steve Austin / fellow metal fan
Slaughter / love em!
Goldberg / Too much, too soon
Kiss / Time to hang up the platforms
Diamond Dallas Page / savvy political player
Insane Clown Posse / waste of space
Vince McMahon / Genius and my new hero...what else am I gonna say! |
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For more info on Your Paragon Of Virtue, Chris Jericho, then take your ass to www.chrisjericho.com
Of course you can see Chris every Monday night on Raw Is Jericho on the USA network at 9 PM. And if you're in Canada, then your fucked cause we don't know when Raw comes on in Canada. Fend for yourself. For more info on the World Wrestling Federation, then take your Roody-Poo Candy Ass to www.wwf.com. Tell Stone Cold he's next on our list to do 20 Questions!
All photos stolen from either Chris Jericho's site or the W.W.F's site. |
