Wed 13 of Murderdolls checks in from The UK

We head to the airport with all of our guitars, luggage, and stage props (3 trunks of skulls, mannequins, rubber chickens, crucifixes, monster masks, zombie puppets, space pistols, etc). Luckily everything goes smooth through security with no problems. We had a connection in Dallas, where we were informed that we were now called “The Band” as everyone asked “Hey are you guys the band,” even though no one knew who the fuck we were. We get on the plane that afternoon, we all pass out and when we wake up we are in London. Problem number one on arrival, we loose our drum pedals on the flight . We hop on the tour bus, and go and collect our drums, guitars, and to buy a new double bass drum pedal that is 2 times the price it would be in America. Everything is collected by the afternoon and all looks okay so far. We stopped at services over night and heard that LA Guns was there just an hour before us, so we knew we were on the right path. I wonder if they tour on Harleys with an Alf doll on the front like the old days? So the crew, Kid Kid, Ghastly, Pig and Myself crawl in our bunks like Hollywood Vampires and call it a day.

November 3rd Cardiff Wales

Cardiff Wales is the first stop on the tour. I first heard of this place on the Tigertailz home video when I was 14. I hoped the Tailz would have shown up but they didn’t. We also found out the Bush had won the election, what a bummer, 4 more years of bad luck. The show is great and the kids were rabid, although our amps started to go out half way through the set, we figure out afterwards in was an ohm problem, but we managed to make it through and it was fun. Also someone stole my screwdriver from a stage prop and if your reading this asshole, give it back, that cost 75 cent at Wal Mart. I went out and met the fans, and then crawled in to the bunk for some much needed beauty sleep.

November 4th Exeter

Crawl out of the bunk, go take a leak in our little tiny bus toilet, and look in the mirror to see I have crusty, black, eyeliner boogers in the corner of my eyes…very attractive. I get dressed and head into the venue to help put our stage together. The venue starts to fill up full of ghouls and all looks well, until one of the support bands starts being complete fuck-sticks (the all look like CC Deville and tend to act like him at his craziest) and we have to kick them off the tour after the night. I’m all for being crazy and rock n roll but these guys were trying to hard and were fucking up things for everyone…so good bye!!! The show is cool, and we go out and met everyone afterwards. I’m already starting to lose my voice which really fucking sucks, so I go to bed hoping I’ll wake up with a voice in the morning.

November 5th London

Here we are in London with a full day of press, and my voice sounds like a squeaky little mouse. Straight off the bus at the crack of 2 and on my way for a TV interview. I sound like shit and the chair I’m sitting in for this interview is gigantic. My feet barely touch the floor and I look like Emanuel Lewis with dreadlocks for this piece. After this it’s more press, and more press and more press. The band we had kicked off the tour shows up again and we have to send them away very aggressively, Doyle from Sling Blade style. Show time arrives and we rock the asses of the masses. Afterward we meet with everyone from the label and friends, then go meet the mob of crazy ghouls waiting outside. By this point my voice is gone and I’m sweating if I’m gonna make it the rest of the tour…..to be continued????