METAL SKOOL CHANGES NAME TO WARRANT?

Jerry Dixon admires Satchel 's star quality while Steven "Sticky" Sweet plays along under his armpit!
[ Photo by Tracyg ]

Well, not really, but these days, most of the 80s bands that release product or tour have less than half of their original lineup intact. So when Warrant's Jerry Dixon & Steven "Sticky" Sweet took the stage last Monday night to jam with Metal Skool, the world's best tribute band, they in fact could've billed it as Warrant. Who needs Jani Lane when you have Michael Starr, Michael Diamond, or David Lee Ralph? Or whatever his name is this week. It doesn't really matter, because he's probably going to show up and pull his weight (insert Jani joke here).

So, what could be bigger than Metal Skool touring as Warrant? Well, besides Poison touring as Metal Skool or a 3rd version of Ratt forming, we're pretty sure this is huge news. At least it was for the 2 songs Jerry & Steven performed. But what everyone really wants to know is "Where the fuck was Rick Steir?" Okay, so maybe not...

Moving along now...

In case you've been hiding under a fucking rock, Metal Skool rools "The Roxy Theater" every Monday night in Hollywood, every Wednesday at "Typhoon Saloon" (San Diego) and every other Tuesday at "Velvet Jones" in Santa Barbara. Not just kind of rules, but they rip your face off, and usually make you piss your pants... even if you're a grown man. Besides, most of the crowd is well onto their 5th or 10th beer by midnight when they hit the stage. Once they start in with their comedic bits, it's hard to walk away. So. instead, you just stand there, laughing and drinking. The next thing you know, you're drunk, having a good time, and piss is pouring down your leg. Cool, huh? It's even cooler when you see hot chicks standing in a puddle of their own piss singing "Cherry Pie" and flashing their titties to Rock God guitarist Satchel (formerly Ratchett - pronounced 'Rat Shit').

The band also includes Lexi Foxx, who used to be known as Ginger Roxx. He is your typical dumbfuck bassist (pick one), who takes more shit from the band than a millionaire who hires a pro Dominatrix scat game specialist. Their drummer is anyone with a black wig and drum sticks. (At least that's what they claim.)

Oh yeah, for those who were hiding under that fucking rock, Metal Skool is now officially 'National Lampoon's Metal Skool,' and yes, for the not-so-smart crowd, this is the same company who brought us Animal House many years ago. Raise your hand if you're going to buy a movie ticket for this! Our entire staff will be there on opening night - laughing, drinking, and probably pissing our pants as well.

Metal Sludge
Sucking more and more everyday - just like the bands we cover.