UP 'N SLUDGERS...

5 KNUCKLE SHUFFLE!

This week's Up 'N Sludgers are called 5 Knuckle Shuffle. They're from Ohio and recently turned down a gig opening for W.A.S.P. due to too many restrictions. We thought they might have a good story or two, and damned if we weren't right about that! Their singer/guitarist Eric Mangle stepped up to the plate and answered everything we wanted to know. Read on and enjoy.

1. Who the fuck are you and where can people find out shit about your band?

We are 5 Knuckle Shuffle and we can be found at http://www.fuzzrecordingstudio.com/5KS/news.htm. We are a 3-piece group in the great state of OHIO. We are trying to bring solos back to this music world filled with upset crybaby motherfuckers. Get over your childhood. We all had problems. Guitar players now don't even try to solo. It's like they have never heard one before. It's like some bands don't even know what a pentatonic scale is for God's sake. We are just a couple of diehard metal fans that are making our mark on the world one show at a time. We love what we do and every person that nods along with our music.

2. Recently, 5 Knuckle Shuffle was supposed to open for W.A.S.P., but then you guys turned down the gig. Why?

We turned down a gig with WASP. I've been asked a few times why we said no. Well here are a few reasons.

1. Drummers kit must be no more than 4' by 4' in total square.
2. Guitar rigs must be off the stage and run thru a mix off set from the side of the stage.
3. Bass rigs must be off the stage and run thru a mix off set from the side of the stage.
4. Singers must not use Mr. Lawless' mic stand by any means.
5. Mr. Lawless shall not be disturbed prior to the show by opening acts if they are not under company contract.
6. Mr. Lawless will dine 1 hour prior to the show. All acts must leave dinning area when he arrives.
7. Supporting acts must not use a wireless system for vocals or guitars.

What kind of bullshit is that? I mean seriously! I've been treated better by better bands than WASP. I've been treated better by worse bands too. For GOD'S sake, Mushroomhead gave us 2 - 30 packs of brew. I won't say what else has been offered to us by venues and other bands but you get the idea. Who gives a shit about Blackie's fucking mic stand!?! I know I sure as hell
don't!!!!!

FUCK WASP! or should I say Blackie...

3. What exactly is the goal for your little band?

We just want to play and have fucking fun. If you're not having fun, pack it the fuck up and move on to selling shoes! Getting a deal would be nice too. Here is to wishing.

5 Knuckle Shuffle's Eric and Dave enjoy the fruits of their labor

4. You guys used to be from the Delaware/Maryland area, but then loaded up the truck and moved to Ohio. What prompted this decision, and why did you relocate to Ohio of all places?

Well, my wife and I got divorced. My brother and his wife wanted to move back to Ohio where she grew up. I said fuck it bro, lets roll out there. Our bass player at the time was not able to move so we grabbed the first good, crazy bass player we found out here in Ohio.

5. Of the following, which do you prefer and why:

Tattoos or piercings = Tattoos hand down!
Motley Crue or Guns 'N Roses = 1st album Guns N Roses
Parachute pants or acid washed jeans = Neither, I like to wear shorts in the dead of winter
Yngwie Malmsteen or Vinnie Moore = Funny you asked this one. Vinnie Moore was one of my teachers back in Delaware ( So I gotta say Vinnie)
Sleeping in your rehearsal space or sleeping in the van = Rehearsal space because it's in my basement
The Indians or the Browns = Neither! I hail from new York! Go Yankees and Giants!
Dave Wallace or Drew Jones = Dave, he's my brother
Pee Wee Herman or Mr. T = Pee Wee Herman. Come on, he worked with Rob Zombie back all those years!
L.A. Guns or Metal Church = Metal Church
Clams or crabs = Crabs baby!

6. What national acts have you guys played with, and out of all those bands, which one was the coolest to you, and which one was the biggest group of jackasses you've ever met?

Oh shit, here is the part I was waiting for! Let the fucking fur fly now.

Warrant - All the guys were cool. Jani struck me as odd and he slurred like a drunk biker on downers.

Slaughter - Mark, Jeff, and Blass were cool. Dana Strum is a fucking asshole! Here is my open invite to him. Lets put on the gloves Mr. Lips. My 4 year old niece doesn't even pout that much. I hate your fucking guts and would beat the living shit outta you if ever given the chance. You washed up has been mother fucker!

Quiet Riot - They wouldn't let us get a good soundcheck. Kevin was worried about his vocal processor being messed with. Besides that and Kevin's sad ass wig they were ok. Rudy had some killer smoke. We sat on the bus for a bit and got tore up.

Mushroomhead - Best group of guys we have played with. Very cool and polite. Made sure that we were set with everything. Their techs even helped us with a few things. How rare is that? I give them 666 thumbs up!

Powerman 5000 - Laid back and cool, a little private. Not much to say. Rob has better stage presence though.

Disturbed - Fucking great guys, the BBQs are the shit if you ever get the chance to hang with them after a show.

Great White - (ASSHOLES!) Did I mention they were assholes? Jack was so into making sure we knew what was his. He fell over a cooler trying to point out HIS RIDER ITEMS.

Fuel - Kinda lame ass fuckers. Didn't want to mingle with people. Reminded me of a bunch of old guys.

Ace Frehley - Asshole at first and very pushy. Then he mellowed out. Maybe the cough syrup kicked in.

Soulmotor - Ole Brian from Tesla's band. Very cool guys. Shared a few cocktails and told us some old school Tesla road stories. Nice guys all around.

That Eric guy and Ozzy's bodyguard Big Val

7. Yes or no, have you ever:

Paid to play = Nope, we have sold tickets to our shows though. I hate that shit!
Touched Blackie's mike stand = I'm going to now. Just watch me damn it!
Been asked for your autograph = Yes
Set a dumpster on fire = Yes
Jacked off in a restroom at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame = Nah but, I'm going to now
Played more than 6 shows in one week = Yes
Eaten a meal cooked by Jani Lane = Ummmmm, don't think so. Does he work at the Akron White Castle?
Shit your pants on stage = Nope!
Regretted moving to Ohio = Hell no!
Seen the inside of a tour bus = Many, many, many, times

8. What's the smallest and largest crowd you've ever played in front of?

Smallest would be 10 people and the people that worked there.

Biggest would be around 10,000

9. What hard rock / heavy metal band should be dropped so you can take their place?

Poppa Roach. Do you get them at all? I mean seriously! Jesus Christ they suck!

The guys in 5 Knuckle Shuffle and a bunch of other unidentified random people

10. Time for Metal Sludge's Word Association! We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.

Nikki Sixx = Back from the dead and taking no shit!
Iann Robinson = The best thing MTV ever had!
Sebastian Bach = Great pipes, Amazing front man. Ego from hell!
Dimebag Darrell = Ok this one is gonna be a long one. We were going to be at the show where he was taken from us. Drew our bass player picked up a Dimebag bass. Our buddy Chad Lee of http://www.rockconcertfotos.com/ invited us out to meet Dimebag and have him sign the bass. We had to pass and were going to see him in Flint, MI the next night. He was taken from us in Columbus. I so badly miss him and All I have to say now is. GOD REST HIS SOUL. We miss you brother Dime. (R.I.P)
Billy Morris = Hope to meet him this Friday at his club when we play. I've heard nothing but good things.
Gene Simmons = The demon, The master of facepaint, The master of money! I want my 11 bucks back for the Elder Album!
Zakk Wylde = The Berserker, The Bullseye six string master. The closest thing to god on a guitar.
Blackie Lawless = See question number 2. Plus Fuck his washed up has been ass!
Ted Nugent = I eat what I kill too Ted!
Lemmy = I'm glad the rumors were false. Lemmy is the fucking man. The mole man!

Thanks so much for giving us this chance. We have been Metal Sludge fans since the old geocities days. We ever meet you guys at Metal Sludge and the drinks are on us! Keep Shufflin' and if Dana ever emails you about my questions, set up the fight! I want to beat down his pussy ass.

Thanks again
Eric Mangle - 5 Knuckle Shuffle

Now that wasn't bad at all! Hearing about W.A.S.P.'s restrictions on local opening acts is always fun for shits and giggles.

For more info about 5 Knuckle Shuffle, check out their Web site! It's at http://www.fuzzrecordingstudio.com/5KS/news.htm.