METAL SLUDGE PRESENTS...

by Lord Satyr Filth

By now we're sure you have all forgotten about Sludgewire Idol, and if you have no idea what we're talking about, it was our silly-ass contest to break in new staff writers. Each week, the contestants took part in a SludgeWire and the Sludgeaholics would vote on who did the best. After each round the writer with the least votes would get kicked out of the contest, and the end result was that the winner would get to have their own column at Metal Sludge.

Well, we never actually finished Sludgewire Idol, and thankfully nobody made that big of a deal about it. After the 3rd bout the contestants stopped sending in their Sludgewire commentary all of a sudden. Everyone, that is, except Lord Satyr Filth. So by default, he wins. We did just come to learn that the reason the other contestants stopped sending in their shit was because Lord Satyr Filth had them tied up in his dungeon! They had been there for weeks and he didn't let them go until he was announced the winner.

Now as his prize, Lord Satyr Filth (or "Filthy," as we like to call him) gets to write his own column, "The Dungeon of Filth." He'll send in updates whenever he feels like it and he'll talk about whatever he wants to talk about. He likes a lot of black metal, death metal, grind core, and dark spooky shit like that, so he'll probably have something to say about that kind of stuff. Or he could talk about what he just bought at the grocery store. It's up to him! He can do whatever he wants, because, frankly, we're fucking afraid of him.