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Sludge’s Top 15 Oldest Rock Singers. Grandpa’s, Geezer’s & Glampa’s All Over 60 And Still Rocking N’ Rolling.

AliceStevenRobin_2013_1Alice Cooper, Steve Tyler & Robin Zander, combined age = 190 years old!

 

 

Metal Sludge’s Top 15 Oldest Rock Singers, Over 60 And Still Rocking.

 

 

#15  Robin Zander of Cheap Trick is 60

Robin Zander of Cheap Trick is 60 and was Born January 23, 1953 in Beloit Wisconsin. In 1972, Robin Zander was offered the lead singer role in a new band called Cheap Trick by the group’s drummer Bun E. Carlos.  Robin has 2 kids with his current and second wife (former Playboy Playmate Pamela Stein) and they live in Florida. Zander also has 2 kids from his first marriage who live in Rockford Illinois the home town of Cheap Trick.

Fun Fact: According to entry #164 on our World Famous Penis Chart, Robin has a HUMONGOUS ding dong as well! The big question (no pun intended) is, at age 60 – how many Viagra does it take to get that thing up?

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#14 Udo Dirkschneider of Accept is 61
Udo Dirkschneider of Accept was born April 6, 1952 in Wuppertal Germany. Udo is our 2nd shortest old guy at 5’6″ but we’re gonna go out on a limb and say he’s got the biggest old man balls of all these dudes. Why? Why the fuck not. The fucking dude sang “Balls to the Wall” bitch. You gotta have some good size jewels if your gonna bark that shit out. So, yeah, Udo has big balls and that’s all that has to be said.

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#13 Paul Stanley of KISS is 61

Paul Stanley of KISS is 61. He was born January 20, 1952 in (Manhattan) New York City, New York. As we all know Paul plays with the most egotistical man on the planet. No, not Kanye West, but rather Gene Simmons. They formed KISS over 40 years ago and Mr. Stanley is still puckering his lips, swinging his hips and having kids by the car load. Paul has an adult son (Evan) from his first wife but she bailed in 2001. Paul remarried in 2005 and has been busting out kids way more often than hit songs in the last decade. KISS hasn’t had a real hit in 20+ years, but Paul has fathered 3 kids since 2006, the most recent in 2011. If you do the math, Paul will be on the door step of 80 when his youngest daughter is a senior in High School.

Fun Fact: Paul has been playing guitar for over 40 years yet his son Evan, only 15 in the clip HERE can shred his old man!

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#12 David Coverdale of Whitesnake is 62

David Coverdale of Whitesnake was born September 22, 1951 in Salt-Burn-By-The Sea England. Coverdale use to be a cover boy, but now looks more like a cover Grandpa. Thankfully for him, he’s still rocking more hair in his 60s than most hairband singers had in their 20s. And it’s real. Can’t say as much for other parts of David’s head as it appears he’s had more plastic surgery than Tawney Kitaen at this point.

For a good fun read check out David Coverdale’s 20 Questions with Metal Sludge from back in February 2006.

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#11 Rob Halford of Judas Priest is 62

Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford was born August 25, 1951 in Sutton Coldfield England. It’s hard to believe the Metal God is closer to 70 than 50 but its true. It seems like only yesterday Rob was screaming “Ram It Down”, “Hot Rockin'” and “Eat Me Alive.” And it doesn’t seem like it’s been a full 15 years since Rob came out of the closet either. But that too, is true. In 1998 Halford came forward and acknowledged what many had suspected for years. That he was in fact gay. And like the cool mother fuckers Heavy Metal fans are – no one blinked. No one seemed to care and not to sound, umm gay, but everyone welcomed Rob with open arms. Of course we all didn’t run up and and make out with him, but Mr. Halford has as much or more respect today as he did when the Priest were multi platinum and screaming for vengeance.

Judas Priest released their debut “Rocka Rolla” with Halford in 1974 which means the band will be turning 40 in 2014. Gay or straight doesn’t matter here folks, we salute a true Metal God, or shall we say Metal God Father.

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#10 Biff Byford of Saxon is 62
Biff Byford of Saxon was born on January 15, 1951 in Honley England. Biff and some buddies formed a band called Son Of A Bitch around 1976 but changed the name to Saxon in 1978. Saxon have released 20 albums over 35 years and have maintained a fairly steady line up as well. The band have had much more mainstream success in England and around Europe over their career and we give props to Biff and the boys in Saxon.

“Denim & Leather” was one of the bands biggest albums which spawned the widely popular “Princess of the night.” Saxon is still active in 2013 with the release of their 20th studio effort titled “Sacrifice.”

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#9  Gene Simmons of KISS is 64

Gene Simmons of KISS was born August 25, 1949 in Tirat Carmel Israel. Gene is months away from the ripe old age of retirement (65). Will he or won’t he retire? Hard to say as KISS has retired (played their “Farewell” tour) on numerous occasions, Our guess is Gene will at some point be on stage in a platinum wheel chair, with mag wheels and of course a steel encased colostomy bag. We cannot confirm or deny where he might be shooting the blood or fire from but you can bet your $ 100.00 (plus) ticket it’ll happen.

Crazy to think how old the Heavy Metal icons really are. Imagine a time before the internet or perhaps, when the world wide web was just an infant. Well we were there. Metal Sludge launched in 1998 and soon we had the hairbands & heavy metal giants by the ball sack. Those where the days when Gene was still in his 40s. Fuck. That seems like forever ago. Anywho, speaking of old days and a younger Gene Simmons – check out a Metal Sludge classic from Ozzy Stillbourne, Jani Bon Neil & Taime “Sex” Slaughter from the yesteryear of Metal Sludge (2001). This is a Random Thoughts On Gene Simmon’s Comments from the ‘open letter’ section of Kissonline. Enjoy it like Gene enjoyed his 50s and before Metal Sludge turned into a lame teenager.

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#8 Ted Nugent of The Amboy Dukes is 65

Ted Nugent was born December 13, 1948 in Redford (Detroit) Michigan. Possibly the most controversial old dude on our list. And probably the most perverted as well. Ted has a lot to say and you can bet your ass he’ll back up anything that comes from his fire fueled motor city madman mouth.

Ted is always good for a string of one liners and tongue twisters for sure. But look no farther than our own 20 Questions With Ted Nugent from December of 2001. Ted calls Dave Mustaine feminine, says he’d kill Rikki Rockett in a fight and gave Ace Frehley a 3 in rate-a-guitarist. Good stuff for sure. Ted also talks about pussy, perfect pussy, hot pussy and oh yeah – bloody pussy. Ted admits to eating a chick out on the rag.  Is it safe to say Ted Nugent is an old pervert? Yes it is. We asked Ted to run through our Word Association section and when we dropped Britney Spears name, Ted’s answer was, Yum. Kinda gross don’t ya think?

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#7 Ozzy Osbourne of Black Sabbath is 65

Ozzy Osbourne was born December 3, 1948 in Aston England. Ozzy isn’t the oldest rocker, but he appears at times, to be the dumbest of the old guys. That or he just plays dumb on TV. Osbourne has been drinking booze, doing drugs and snorting ants for decades. The partying from Black Sabbath tours, to his early 80s runs with those crazy new kids in Motley Crue helped push the Prince of Darkness over the top. Money and success has let the Oz have whatever he wanted. And if our math is correct, it looks like Ozzy has been partaking for 50 years since most start these shenanigans in their mid teens.  Speaking of teenagers. Ozzy dropped out of school at 15 and was then employed as a construction site laborer, trainee plumber, car factory horn-tuner, and slaughterhouse worker. All of course before “War Pigs” & “Iron Man” had hit the airwaves.

A few tidbits about Mr. Osbourne. Ozzy has 5 biological children from 2 marriages and 1 adopted child. He also has 6 grand children. He also spent 6 weeks in prison in the 60s for a house burglary that went wrong. At least wrong for him. He stole a TV and some clothes, but dropped the TV and was caught with the clothes. They turned out to be baby clothes too boot. But in the end, he can’t be that dumb as it is estimated he and his wife Sharon are worth over 150 million US dollars.

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#6 Klaus Meine of Scorpions is 65

Klaus Meine of Scorpions was born in Hanover Germany on May 25, 1948. Klaus seems to be the most ‘non threatening’ off our list. Afterall, he doesn’t spit blood or breath fire, there are no rumors of him having a 12 inch schlong (uncircumcised of course since he is European), we’ve never heard he snorted ants with Motley Crue and it doesn’t appear that Mr. Meine has had any plastic surgery either. He’s also our shortest old dude at 5’4″ tall and he sang that lame song about going down to Gorky Park. Are all Germans this boring? We’re hoping not and let’s not forget about Ramstein.

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#5 Steven Tyler of Aerosmith is 65

Steven Tyler of Aerosmith was born in Yonkers New York USA on March 26, 1948. Steven is in our Top 5 of oldest rock singers. How old is Steven? He is so old he has old lady tits. And he’s not even a lady! Don’t believe us? Check ‘em out below. This gives a whole new meaning to that “Dude Looks Like A Lady” song.

There is a time and a place for everything, and we’re pretty sure the time is not in the last 2 or 3 decades that Mr. Tyler should be wearing a speedo. Especially in public. Those things went out of style before Aerosmith’s comeback in the mid 80s. Sure Tyler is a bad ass frontman, errr, frontgrandpa but that doesn’t give you a pass on going without a bra on the beach bro.

Some crazy stuff on the early years of Mr. Tyler. In 1975, Tyler persuaded the parents of 16year old groupie Julia Holcomb to sign over guardianship to him so that he could live with her in Boston. They dated and did drugs together for three years.Holcomb was referred to as “Diana Hall” by the editor of the Aerosmith autobiography Walk This Way in an attempt to conceal her identity, but other sources have confirmed her identity.Pressures leading to their split included both their age difference (Tyler was 27 when they first met), a house fire, and a pregnancy that resulted in an abortion. Tyler has also fathered 4 children with 3 different woman, 2 of which he had married but both ended in divorce.

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#4 Alice Cooper is 65

Alice Cooper hales from the Motor City, Detroit Michigan USA. He was born February 4, 1948. Alice has seemingly done it all, and by all – we mean drank all the alcohol. And then-some. But has been sober since the mid 80s and continues to work with recovery programs. However, Alice seems to have kept his dick in his pants much more so than the majority of rock singers. He’s been married to the same woman for nearly 40 years and they have 3 adult children together. Cooper claimed in a 2002 television interview that he had ‘never cheated’ on his wife in all the years they’d been together.

Cooper first broke big with his 1971 mega hit “I’m Eighteen” and the following year had an even bigger smash with “School’s Out.” If Alice makes it another 15 years, he might wanna consider releasing a remake and calling it “I’m Eighty” as his curtain call finale.

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#3 Sammy Hagar of Montrose is 66

Sammy Hagar was born October 13, 1947 in Salinas California. What in the hell is Sammy drinking? Is that tequila a magical youth potion? Holy Christ in a side car. In compiling this list we were dumfounded when putting these names down and seeing that the Red Rocker is old as hell – yet is holding up better than rockers 25 years his junior.

Sammy has been married twice, and both marriages produced a pair of kids each. Hagar is still married to his 2nd wife of 18 years while his 1st marriage lasted 26 years. It’s safe to say Sammy isn’t as wild as or perverted as some other singers – but he has claimed to have been abducted by aliens. Huh? Yup. So it goes, and we thought the other singer from Van Halen was the nutty one. Outside of his huge success with VH in the 90s, Sammy did score a huge hit with “I Can’t Drive 55″ back in 1984. Soon he will be screaming “I Can’t Stay 66″ as his next birthday makes him 67.

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#2 Brian Johnson of AC/DC is 66

Brian Johnson of AC/DC was born October 5, 1947 in Dunston England. Here is another shocker. Brian isn’t exactly Brad Pitt in the looks department, and never was. But you gotta admit, for pushing 70 this guy seems to be built like a brick shit house and not that of a frail old man. “Back in Black” was Johnson’s debut in the band AC/DC but had put out 4 records previously in the 70s with his former band Georide before he got the call to audition the spot left vacant by Bon Scott. Johnson was already into his 30s when “Back in Black dropped and it went on to sell over 50 million copies worldwide. While on the subject of money, it was reported in 2011 that Johnson was worth an estimated 50 Million British pounds, the equivalent of 82 Million US dollars.

AC/DC guitarist and co-founder Angus Young later recalled, “I remember the first time I had ever heard Brian’s (Johnson) name was from Bon Scott. Bon had mentioned that he had been in England once touring with a band and he had mentioned that Brian had been in a band called Geordie and Bon had said ‘Brian Johnson, he was a great rock and roll singer in the style of Little Richard.’ And that was Bon’s big idol, Little Richard. I think when he saw Brian at that time, to Bon it was ‘Well he’s a guy that knows what rock and roll is all about.’ He mentioned that to us in Australia. I suppose when we decided to continue, Brian was the first name that Malcolm and myself came up with, so we said we should see if we can find him.

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#1 Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead is 67, soon to be 68

Happy Birthday on Christmas Eve to Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead born December 24, 1945 in Burslem England.

Lemmy is well known for his lifelong large intake of alcohol. In the documentary Live Fast Die Old, it was revealed that he drank a bottle of Jack Daniels every day and had done so since he was 30 years old.  However, as of 2013, Lemmy has stopped drinking Jack Daniel’s. Kilmister had to cencel a recent tour and is quoted as saying: “I just feel really down. I’ll never get a job again. I’m paying for the good times, I suppose. It’s a mixture of all the things I ever did — and I did plenty. I’ve already given up smoking, now I just drink wine.” In the end of the interview Lemmy was asked “Do you believe in God?” His reply; “I believe I’ll have a drink.”

Now that we’ve dropped this list, it appears that Lemmy is in fact the oldest rocker to ever answer the infamous 20 Questions for Metal Sludge. We thank Mister Kilmister for his contributions way back on March 20th 2001.

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Check out the over 60 Grandpa rocker collage we put together below.

GeneRob_Old_Dec_2013_1nsetRobinAliceSteven_Dec_2013_3nsetDavidRob_Old_Dec_2013_1nsetGenePaul_Old_Dec_2013_2nsetPaulSteven_Dec_2013_1nsetLemmyKlaus_Dec_2013_1nsetLemmyGene_Dec_2013_1nsetLemmyOzzy_Dec_2013_1nsetGeneKlausBiff_Dec_2013_1nsetBrianRobin_Dec_2013_1nset

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