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The Good, The Glam & The Ugly! H-I-M “Tears On Tape” reviewed by t.Odd

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                                                                          H-I-M

H-I-M “Tears On Tape”

The Good, the Glam & the Ugly: Record reviews and other unnecessary bullshit


Posted By: Metal Sludge

Written By: t.Odd

 

 

Artist: HIM

Record: Tears on Tape

Label: Razor & Tie




1st impression of the Band:

Ok, I’ll be honest, I’ve been dreading this review for months. I’m 44 so my knowledge of HIM is limited to seeing that stupid “heart a gram” logo that Bam Margera made famous. I’m pretty sure HIM owe their entire career to Bam, and I never had any interest in listening to them. One thing that came to mind when tasked with this assignment though was the question of why HIM got HUGE off Bam’s fame, but a way better band called Vains of Jenna didn’t. So after numerous “where’s that HIM review” emails from sludge management, I FINALLY actually listened to the record. Have I gone on a rant recently about how you should never judge a band before listening to the songs? Well I should, because this record kinda kicks ass, and I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t give it a chance based on previous bullshit misconceptions. 

The image:

I watched the video for “Tears on Tape” and was surprised to see the singer looking like Marc Bolan from T-Rex (great glam band, google it). I thought he was more of a “pretty boy” but he looks VERY Bolan now, complete with British-issue yellow teeth!  

The Songs:

I assume the first single/video “Tears on Tape” was released as a sad attempt to get chicks that still like bands like Placebo to buy the record, but it’s the worst piece of melancholy emo garbage I’ve ever heard. Total crap. Don’t listen to it, as it will rip your brain out and give it a hug while you die! Fucking A, whoever picked that as the single should be punched in the nuts.

Why am I SO pissed about that song? Because the rest of the record is fucking GOOD! And pretty heavy too. The pussy-ass love vibe is apparent throughout the record, but songs like “Hearts at War” and “I will be the end of you” are fucking heavy, with killer guitar riffs and catchy choruses that aren’t sappy wimpy bullshit like “Tears on Tape”. Why the fuck did they even call the record that? From the songs I see a band that wants to step away from that wimpy bullshit. There’s a breakdown on “I will be the end of you” that’s more Pantera than pussy-ass emo!

“Drawn & Quartered” is a PROPER “ballad”, but I think they stole the riff from Wednesday 13, VERY similar to “Ghost Stories”! Good song either way!

“Lucifer’s Chorale” is SO fucking heavy it will actually grab your brain from the “Tears on Tape” hug and rip it to shreds, leaving you only a few breaths of life left to enjoy “W.L.S.T.D.” which is straight-up Type O Negative heavy. Fucking Sabbath heavy! This is the anthem to the death of wussy-ass emo bullshit!

3 songs to buy on itunes that AREN’T for your girlfriend: “W.L.S.T.D. “ “I will be the end of you” “No Love”

In conclusion:

I was wrong. “W.L.S.T.D” ripped my fucking face off, and I loved it! Skip the “Tears on Tape” bullshit and buy every other song! They’re all really fucking good. FUCK I can’t believe I let this record sit on the shelf for months! Learn from my mistakes!

 

 

t.Odd @ Twitter

Metal Sludge

H-I-M Sludge

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