Crashdiet "The Savage Playground" CD Review
Posted By: Metal Sludge
Review By: t. Odd
WARNING: If you’re one of the ignorant, inbred, white trash douche bags that posted racist shit about the new L.A. Guns guy then stop reading this now! These guys are from Sweden so you wouldn’t like them. Go drink some beer and shoot guns at each other or something, useless fucking pieces of shit.
And now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Have you ever drank WAY too much and the next day you were so hung over that you either wanted to die… or just drink more? Of course I haven’t, but I know a guy that will remain nameless (Chris Wilson) and he and his “other guy” friend used to do that shit ALL the time! Right now I have the worst fucking musical hangover ever, thanks to fucking Black Veil Brides! I listened to their “Wretched and Divine” record SO many times my fucking head is going to explode! See my reviewhere.
Now I won’t take ALL the credit for the record debuting at #7 on the Billboard charts after my review went up, but I’m sure it was probably a determining factorJ. I mean, otherwise why would BVB guitarist Jinxx PROMISE to play my son’s Birthday party if/when the record went platinum?? Ok, he didn’t promise that YET but I’m sure it’s coming!
Anyway, now I’m left with the choices of “Death by BVB” or trying to ween myself off them slowly while trying a new “poison”, (pun intended) so I figured I’d take a dose of the new “Savage Playground” record by Crashdiet and see what happens!
Record: TheSavage Playground
I know these guys have been around for a while, and they’re from Sweden. And at one point their lead singer committed suicide, which is fucking tragic. That’s about all I know about them, but I’m glad to see that they’ve persevered through all the bullshit and kept going without giving a fuck what people think. I also bought their song “Generation Wild” a while ago, which was pretty kick-ass “youth gone wild” vibe.
1 word. FUCKING MOHAWK. Ok, that’s may be 2 words, but after a few Red Deaths at the Rainbow it becomes one, trust me! Up until now the official “baddest-ass Mohawk in the history of rock n’ roll” (according to me) was held by Mickey Finn of Jetboy. Now the Mohawk of 2013 is nothing like the Mohawk of early 80’s punk rock, or the ORIGIANL “punks” the Iroquois Indians, from whence it originated. In 2013 you see babies at the mall with Mohawks, sports idiots with Mohawks, dudes that work at NASA with Mohawks (that one is pretty cool I must say) so to say the least, the fear and intimidation that the Mohawk originally represented is long gone.
Now to be fair I have a Mohawk, but it’s in remission. That means that it just lays dormant and non-threatening until one day it gets provoked and stands the fuck up and kicks someone’s ass. It ALMOST came out when my 6 year old son was bullied at school yesterday, but I held it back. And just so we’re clear, a 2 inch strip of hair on top of anyone’s head is NOT a Mohawk, it’s just a bad haircut. Real Mohawks (12” and above) kick the shit out of those Mohawks all day. Without prejudice!
Point being? The singer in crash diet has a bad ass fucking Mohawk! The rest of the guys in the band all look like Shawn Smash from Total Chaos, which is cool, but not THAT cool!
Again, these guys are from Sweden, and overseas glam bands have never been given the respect that their American counterparts received. For every Hanoi Rocks there was a Motley Crue, for every Tigertailz there was a Poison etc etc but although their LA rip-offs (I mean counterparts) were WAY more commercially successful, bands from Europe like Hardcore Superstar, Backyard Babies, The Wildhearts, Veins of Jenna and Crash Diet have long carried the glam/metal/punk flame while their American brethren have broken up, reformed in 3 different versions (at the same time), and generally just sucked.
“Change the world” - Starts with generic shout at the devil voiceover, but morphs into a “Youth Gone Wild” type vibe, very cool.
First single “Cocaine Cowboys” is probably one of my least favorite songs on the record. It’s “bluesy” in the same vein that every glam band of the 80’s TRIED to show some “musical depth” on their 2nd or 3rd records, all of which sucked ass. From Motleys “City Boy blues” to Ratt’s “Way Cool Jr” it was all garbage. Rule of thumb: White dudes in makeup CANNOT play the blues. EVER!
“Anarchy” overcomes stupid generic punk title with a great melody and nearly comical “WE FUCKING MEAN IT” vocals that obviously point out that they fucking mean it!
“California” – Very melodic, and apparently they like California. Not sure if it’s a facebook type “like” but they apparently like it!
“Lickin’ dog” – Sounds like AC/DC doing Rhino Bucket with Dirty Looks with Buck Cherry as roadies.
“Circus” – There was an early 90’s LA band called “Circus” and the guitar player had a holster on his patent leather pants that held a can of aquanet! Oh, the song? Sounds like “California” after a few Rainbow Long islands!
“Sin City” – I live in Las Vegas and cringe at the stupid fucking “sin city” moniker. This song doesn’t do much to change that!
“Got A Reason” – Has a bit of a vintage Dokken “Tooth and Nail” vibe, I like it.
“Drinking Without You” – This seems to be Crash Diets version of a “love song”. Like, “I love you but you’re not here so I’m going to get fucked up and do what I want” love. Not bad.
“Snakes in Paradise” – Can’t say the title is generic! Has a “Monkey Buisness” type groove that morphs into “Rocket Queen” type chorus.
“Damaged Kid” – Starts promising but never really takes off. Pretty cool Slash-esq guitar solo though.
“Excited” – Ironic title, as the songs anything but exciting. Borderline generic pussy-ass ballad. Dude with the baddest Mohawk should NOT be singing this song!
“Garden of Baylon” – Again a slower vibe, but singer dude redeems himself for previous track, vocals rip and chorus is good. Good track.
“Liquid Jesus” – This “bonus” track is better than most on the record! Sounds like cover maybe? Not sure but it rocks in a “Crash Diet doing Guns doing Rose Tattoo” type of vibe!
“Karma Chameleon” – Fucking awesome, but vocals sound more mellow. Oh, wait. Culture Club was next in my ITunes playlist. My Bad.
“Anarchy”, “Liquid Jesus” “Garden of Babylon”.
These guys have been through hell, wear their influences on their fists, and don’t give a fuck if you like it or not. What more could you want?
t.Odd can be reached on Twitter #t_Odd1