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Metal Sludge presents The Best of…Jizzy Pearl!

Metal Sludge The Best of…Jizzy Pearl!

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A somewhat serious looking Jizzo

contemplates his future moves!



Every once in a while we’ll drop a "Best of Sludge" on you when it fits. Or maybe when it doesn’t fit. Either way, Mr. Pearl is about to embark on a European string of dates and since Jizzy has always been so good to Sludge, we figured we’d return the favor. Here are his current dates for April/May 2006.

US date: Friday April 21st @ Paladinos Tarzana, CA.

25.04 london, the underworld

26.04 bristol, beirkeller

27.04 tbc.

28.04 bradford Rio’s

29.04 nottingham, rock city

30.04 stourbridge, rock cafe 2000

*Opening the UK shows, Zodiac Mindwarp (I’m EXCITED about this!)

01.05. Gothenburg Musikens Hus

02.05. SWE tba

03.05. Växjö Harrys Restaurant

04.05. Day-off

05.05. Bochum Matrix

06.05. Munich Land Unter

07.05. Zurich Rock City

On top of that he recently released another book "Unhappy Endings" (his 3rd) of his rants & ramblings. We’ve pulled select questions and answers from each of Jizzy’s interviews. If you wanna go read the whole interview, please use these handy links!

Jizzy 20 Questions  May 1999 

Jizzy Re-Wind May 2000

Jizzy 3-Wind  September 2002 

Jizzy Back-4-More April 2004

Let’s start with his 20 Questions from May/1999 when he was in LA Guns!

2. When you get up in the morning, what is the first thing you do?

a) Tai Chi?

b) Make tea?

c) Phone up Tracii Guns to see if you’re still in LA Guns?

JIZZY: first (A), then (C)

7. Word of the street is that you never cum, because you think it will make you look old. Do you mind explaining this?

JIZZY: Hmm….everytime someone tries to explain Tantra they either get it wrong or come off looking like a weirdo-so I will take the cowardly approach and duck the question completely. Let it be written, the Jizzman Cometh.

9. What still playing hard rock/heavy metal band should call it a day?

JIZZY: Poison, Ratt, Great White and especially LA Guns.

15. What scares you more about aging? Decreasing performance skills or looking old?

JIZZY: if I can’t get a girl to lick ass on the first date, then I got problems.

17. How did it feel when you were in Love/Hate knowing that your roadie Cordell Crockett could go off, start a mediocre band (Ugly Kid Joe) and become more famous than you literally over night?

JIZZY: Yes, its true that Cordell sold 5 million more records then me. Its also true that he is penniless now. Maybe he can roadie for me again when I play the Universal Amphitheater on June 17th.

20. Let’s play word association. We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts.

Bill Leverty / Bills got the "Nice guy" disease

Stefan Adika /
Looks good in a toga

Layla Dawn /
Liar

Dana Strum /
$$$$$$$$$

Jerry Dixon /
biggest eyebrows in the world

Gerri Miller /
always been nice to me

John Corabi /
Goof

Vince Neil /
Ex rock god

Jim Morrison /
me in cheap leathers

Joey Gold / good drummer, ex friend

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Old Skool Jizz ala Morrison days!


Now let’s move onto Re-wind territory! Shall we?

1. What are you currently up to?

Writing my Second Book, working on Love/Hate, and Using a Whip and a Chair to keep the Lounge Lizards and Bad Agents off Josie

4. Have you gotten any heat for writing for Metal Sludge?  Have any other “rockers” given you grief about it or any shit like that?

I got a lot of hate mail about the KISS Thing– In general People seem to dig

the Articles–I’m the Gore Vidal of Heavy Metal

9.  How did your audition for Ratt go?  What songs did you guys play and do you have any idea why you got denied?  How do you think Robert Mason will do?

They didn’t dig me because I sounded TOO MUCH like Pearcy, if you can believe that. Maybe they wanted someone more like Chewbacca, maybe then I would have been "absolutely, without doubt, the Best One".  I don’t know what Robert Mason sounds like…my advice to him is to remember he’s only a Relief Pitcher.  Pitch a few Innings and enjoy the Ride.

13.  What do you remember about the following years:

1980 = I got Stoned a Lot–Local Band–Terrible

1984 = I got Stoned a Lot–Went to Hollywood–More Local Bands–Spandex–Terrible

1988 = I got Stoned a Lot–Lived in a building Downtown L.A.–Love/Hate–everyone was getting Signed but us–discovered Therapeutic Uses of Alcohol–got signed in ” 89

1992 = Second Love/Hate record–got Dropped–Spent all my Money so I couldn’t get Stoned

1996 = Ripping off Korn ( before it became fashionable) in my Solo Band–Close but no cigar on Record Deal—Learned to Survive in Music

1998 = L.A. Guns Relief Pitcher–pitched a couple Innings

17.  What was your biggest music related check that you received?

a couple of $20,000 ones…and a bunch of littler ones

21.  Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association.  We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.

Enuff Z Nuff = Good First Record

Tracii Guns = Survivor

Paul Gargano = Good Guy, Nice Balls

Lars Ulrich =  Rich

Gene Simmons = Goof

Carson Daly = Sycophant

Fred Durst = Save your money

Nikki Sixx = Rock Icon

Sebastian Bach = Rock Icon

Rikki Rockett = Where’s my Ten Bucks?

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Jizzy says Tracii Guns is a survivor!

We say he’s an animal pervert!

Okay, and onto the infamous Metal Sludge 3-Wind!

1. What are you currently up to?

Almost done with this tour, this tour diary, and you

5. Yes or no, has Jizzy Pearl ever:

Compared penis sizes with your bandmates = of course

Watched Josie with another partner = woman partner

Had a nightmare that you joined Warrant = Warrant’s next on my list

Had gas on stage and let it rip in front of thousands = no

Let a girl rim your asshole = are you offering?

Choked a girl during sex = lately I’ve only ckoked the chicken

Received a bonus (pay) from Bob & Warren = yeah right

Thought about painting toilet seats as a hobby = I can’t paint

Watched one of your girlfriends take a shit = I don’t have any girlfriends

Had sushi with Keri Kelli = no

8. Any chance of changing the words from “You’re struck by lightning, You’re In Love” to “You’re stuck by lightning, Metal Sludge?”

Haven’t I done enough?

9. We did our first interview with you in May of 1999 while you fronted L.A. Guns. A year later in May of 2000 you did our famous Rewind and no longer fronted L.A. Guns but started the ball rolling again with Love/Hate. Now it’s September 2002 and you are the lead singer of Ratt. Please tell us that if we do a four-wind that you won’t be fronting Firehouse?

Fate is indeed strange. Having a gig is definitely better than sitting at the Rainbow lying about one.

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Warren "I can’t believe I’m in a band with these guys" DeMartini,

John "do you mind if I fuck your wife" Corabi,

Jizzy "books for sale/singer for rent" Pearl,

Robbie "the Mexican Keri Kelli band whore" Crane,

and the ever famous – Duh Blotz!

10. Reverse Word Association. We mention a word and you tell us who (person) comes to mind?

Slut = me

Rich = Nikki Sixx

Prick = everybody

Selfish = did you say selfish or shellfish?

Liar = a lot of people

Goof = me

Joke = all the liars

Balding = come to Rockfest on a windy day

Fat = come to Rockfest on a humid day

Thief = I can’t tell

Smells =
this line of questioning

14. How often do you hear the words Metal Sludge from the fans, and the musicians you play shows with?

This tour diary has been very popular.

16. You talked about Jani’s mohawk in one of your tour diaries, and actually kind of gave him props while complementing it. Let’s cut the shit now; the tour is almost over. Are you on drugs or do you really think he looks good?

I think he has balls to go out there with a mohawk, and yes I am on drugs

17. Do you and John ever sit around and compare notes about Layla?

Never

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. Blah blah blah…

C.C. DeVille = needs help

Steve Stevens = never met him- good guitar player

Ralph Saenz = he was the best part of Rockstar

Anthony Focx = Foxy

David Lee Roth = the Cryptkeeper

Axl Rose = always cool

Robbie Crane = always gay

Jason Hook = good guitar player

Tommy Lee = big dick

Jon E. Love = good guitar player, also has big dick

 

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Jizzy: "David Lee Roth = the Cryptkeeper"

Huh? How does he figure?

Wow, Jizzy had some funny answers. But there is a lot of talk of gay, goof’s, getting stoned and big dicks throughout. Hmmm, very interesting! Think he ever hung out with Adler back in the day? Back-4-More time!



1. What are you currently up to?

First off I’d like to thank you for that great review of my CD—but since I "run" the site it would be safe to say that I wouldn’t have it any other way. That said, I’m busy writing songs for the Suki Jones thing, running every day getting ready for my little Love/Hate UK mini-tour in May—2004:

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Suki Jones = Adler’s Appetite = You’re all fired!

Steven "I smoke crack & suck cock" Adler,

Keri "the king of Sushi" Kelli,

Jizzy "I’m joining Sweet FA next" Pearl

& the always gay – Robbie Crane!

4. Who’s the most famous celebrity listed in your cell phone, and Robbie Crane doesn’t count.

Um… I have Ronnie James Dio’s phone number …that’s about it. And Robbie will find it funny that you called him a "celebrity" –by the way congratulations are in order for Robbie and his wife on the birth of his new daughter, she looks just like me…Wait! I probably shouldn’t have said that…

7. Yes or no, have you ever:

Stolen a skateboard = I was never good at skateboarding

Gotten stung by a jellyfish = yes, a few times but I never go in the ocean anymore

Wanted to try out for Warrant when Jani quit = nothing against Eric and Jerry but we both know I wouldn’t fit with them

Bought Girlscout cookies = I’m dating a Girl Scout

Swallowed a tadpole = I haven’t but she has

Laughed at a homeless person = I feel sad for them–but that doesn’t mean I give them $$

Won over $1,000 on a slot machine = the most I’ve won is a $100 and that was on my birthday at the Hard Rock

Worn an adult-sized diaper = No I’ve never had that problem

Performed the Heimlich Maneuver on a choking victim = No but I have choked the Chicken

Gotten aroused during a prostate exam = I don’t like my shit Pushed In

12. You’re currently writing original songs with Adler’s Appetite. What do you guys plan on doing with them? Are you going to try to get a deal or just doing it to put out for shits and giggles? What’s the plan?

Probably shits and giggles…actually we’re working with Mike Varney over at Shrapnel and it’s a real deal for a real record—we’ll probably do it after all the summer touring

17. Answer the following questions with either true or false:

Marilyn Monroe was killed by the Kennedys = not by them, but for them

Steve Stevens doesn’t wear a wig = I really don’t know what’s under that head of hair

Tupac is still alive = no, he’s dead as Dillinger

Gene Simmons is a brilliant businessman = unfortunately true

Aliens crashed in New Mexico = how do you think we got fiber optics and velcro?

Brides Of Destruction will go Gold = Hmmm…for Tracii’s sake I hope they go platinum, I really like that little guy.

Van Halen should take back David Lee Roth = they should but how could they?

George W. Bush always knew there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq = who doesn’t know that?

The Darkness are overrated = the Darkness are the flavor of the month, this year’s Nickleback

Michael Jackson is guilty as fuck = TRUE TRUE TRUE…now pass me the Jesus Juice

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Hey guys, let’s all gather around my drum set and take photos!

Robbie Crane, Brent Muscat, Keri Kelli, Jizzo & Steven Adler!

18. When you get a phone call and see on your caller-ID that it’s Bobby Blotzer, what goes through your mind:

A: I better pick this up right away. It must be important!

B: I wonder what DeMartini did to piss him off this time.

C: He’s gotta be drunk.

D: Is he going to ask me if I run Metal Sludge again?

E: All of the above


D

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts:

Brent Muscat = he runs a tight Slave ship

Steven Adler = good drummer

Keri Kelli = Metrex bars and Diet Coke

Stevie Rachelle = good guy, nice website

Jani Lane = good songwriter

Steve "Sex" Summers= Thought I forgot about your remark about how I "ruined" RATT did you? You’re just mad because you tried out and they didn’t pick you.

Darrell Roberts = good guitarist, easy to work with…good drinker

Marq Torien = not from this world

Dave Moreno = good eater, great drummer

The Darkness = yodel rock

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For more info. on KingJizzo & his books

please visit
www.jizzypearl.com

Jizzy is entertaining as always! Thanks for all your continued love & support Mr. Pearl, Metal Sludge will always be your home away from home.

Metal Sludge

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