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Holiday mailbag with bastard boy floyd

holiday mailbag with internet romeo bastard boy floyd



wow, it’s been a while huh? guess it’s time to catch up on some mail with a plethora of webiots. that’s web and idiot combined for anyone keeping score at work. let’s get started.

e-mail #1


Great site…

Listen, you had this photo of Sepultura in high 80’s style standing in front of some strip club under the "Exposed!" section a few weeks (months?) ago…

Where is that photo now???  I need to remind someone how it was done in 1988…

Either send me a link or repost the picture under Sepultura Exposed! You only have one photo posted there as of today. What gives?!?


you know who

you mean this one? next time try the Exposed link on the front of the site you moron.

e-mail #2

What’s up berserkers? I’d like to let you know that my school, City Academy, recently published an article on the Top 10 Best Websites, in which Metal Sludge had the honor of coming in at #2.


Tommy Salami

Salt Lake City, UT

how about a copy of the article? and is there a reason why we didn’t come in at #1?  here’s to hoping that www.freeporn.com was the #1 choice by this great school.

e-mail #3


how are you?

we are rock-band Night WinD!

we’d like to invite you to visit our web-site and exchange the links+banners!

you write the reviews+interviews about us!

we are looking for recording label!

see you! Night WinD


Dmitriy Korotkov




we are fine!

we are website Metal SluDge!

we don’t exchange shit for free!


who isn’t!

probably not – you live in Russia!

e-mail #4

I’m a x soundman for head-east, foghat , badfinger, newmerus bands , personal friend of bobby rock of the nelson brothers, vinnie vencent, and others, he is now with CoS… My question is how come I’m not hearing anything on this band CoS, Carnival of Souls band , I know for a fact they been doing shows, little shows in new york where there from ,,how come no reviews on them , I think there going to be one of the next HOT bands out there .. so lets here something on them cool, thanks


dear munch,

here is a list of reasons why we are not talking about CoS.

1. you kant spel for shitt

2. you worked for bands older than our grandpas

3. we’d rather talk about Jani Lane, Slaughter & Winger

e-mail #5

I love your penis chart review. However I was wondering if you could find out about the rest of the guys from Slipknot. You do have Jim Root #4 on there and I was also wondering if you could find out about the rest of the Murderdolls. You have Ben the ghoul Graves on there but none of the others. I would love to know how Joey Jordison and Eric Griffin as well as the rest are hung.

Thanks D.

attention Slipknot and Murderdolls. please pull out a ruler, measure your cocks and send it in asap. a fan is awaiting the results. thanks.

e-mail #6 is from Don Dokkens stalker. anyone remember this jagoff?

I thought the last mail i sent you all was good enough but apparently your trying to anger not only don dokkens fan base, but me!

excuse me if i cant make the time to wack eloquent but this is no time for eloquence and manners but you Guys SUCK!

with all don dokkens been thru and all that he continues to go thru for the sake of making music and pursuing his art, you shun him. He keeps trying to get out, but you keep pulling him back in and you wont allow him to live and lead a peaceful normal existance!

He tryed to get out with the solo album in 91 with cuts like MIRROR MIRROR and STAY and better yet DOWN IN FLAMES or the eppitomee of love balads WHEN LOVE FINDS A FOOL—blazing and burning his own path from the quickly dying metal scene and his untrustworthy unloyal dokken bandmates. then that ingrate john pilson finds time to film that rockstar movie but ONLY after don approves of the japanese release of their first official greatest hits package and subsequint reborn reunion albomb called dysfunctional. you fans of metal CALLED for it. Don started getting wise and trying to break away from you cheap ass bandada wearing studded wrists freaks and he was being a nice guy and he let George Lynch talk him into putting out SHADOWLIFE under the dokken name! that album almost turned me away man-but i stuck-i KNEW of DONS long range plan-he wanted to branch out-but the vipers that are fans, record execs and music fans have PIGEON HOLED DON from reaching his TRUE POTENTIAL.

If you think DON is a major league suck ass then let me ask you this—HES catering to you to buy his records and make you happy—-you fans and sludgenecks or whatever are ingrates. If you continue to rag on DON for supposedly inappropriate behaivor or ego trips you should take a look in a mirror and look at yourself-arent you lesser men than DON DOKKEN even if your a woman? what joy have you brought to the world? I bet if you put out an album worth listenening to, DON wouldnt say anything bad about it-you know why? well I’ll tell you because he has nothing to prove his legacy is intact and he has put out albums that have inspired me to proclaim my love respect and acknowledgement of him and if you think im full of bullshit write me back and ill give you what for keep rockin don dokken . Thnaks

Brian Charle s Esquire  aka  ROKKnDOKK@???.com

ps-dondokken owes you and me NOTHING if you take time to oppose this sentiment you are a BONOFIDE LOSER

here is a short list of the many reasons why you Brian – are a fucking moron.

1. you used blazing and burning in a sentence, that is so Gerri Miller 1988.

2. you called us sludgenecks, that is racist. we’re Sludgeaholics, not sludgenecks. 

3. you were born.

4. you are a Dokken fan-atic.

e-mail #7

—– Original Message —–

From: Joe Blough
Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2005 4:48 PM
Subject: Bald is beautiful


bastard boy floyd & Joe Blough making a statement

e-mail #8

You guys need to get on the new Metal Edge.  Seems Paul is out.  You have done ripped that mag up in a long time anyway.
Also how about some new Sludgescans?  I wanna know who is and who is not selling.

Signed, VB

yes it is true that Paul has parted ways with Metal Edge. he now works at jack in the box on Highland @ Fountain in Hollywood. actually, Paul is doing some free lance work and seems to be enjoying his new found freedom.

As for Sludgscans, we’d love to run those again. everyone pool together the nearly 20k a year for their unlimited membership fee and we’ll get nutz with it.

e-mail #9

—– Original Message —–

From Scott Simpson
Sent: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 6:48 PM
Subject: W/t/F

why don’t you guys update this shit? You guys are about as current w/ new stuff as Axl. Burger King must keep you guys busier than I thought.

Don Bon Jackyl

dear scott, fuck you. and by the way, your brother Oj called, he wants the glove back to sell on eBay.

last e-mail

Hey dude,

Just saw this really crazy dating website that is just for sex-addicts!

No cheezy pickup lines, no flowers, no gifts, just meet up for some action


Sounds like fun? Well that’s not all, it’s free to join :)

It’s right here: http://www.get-laid-tonight.net

kick ass. i back this, it’s kind of like myspace without the clothing. speaking of myspace, i
just wanted to inform everyone that my internet incoming of bitches is crazy. it’s like the back of the bus on a Poison tour from 1988.

i got mad bitches everywhere. come check my shiznit out. i updated my top

8 and they all got nice titties too.


bastard boy floyd

internet romeo to all bitches

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