20 QUESTIONS WITH
X-W.A.S.P. Guitarist RANDY PIPER!
It’s fairly clear why Randy Piper didn’t last long in W.A.S.P. or go anywhere after his departure. Randy even had a shot with Alice Cooper, but it lasted all of a few weeks. Wonder why he couldn’t hold that gig? Well, probably because he’s a fucking moron. It’s no secret that many in the industry think Blackie is a tool, but he like Gene Simmons is ALL business and without a doubt has an agenda. Getting this clown out of W.A.S.P. and moving along was clearly a smart move early on. By the sounds of Mr. Pipers current intellect at 40+ years of age, if not 50 he is as about as smart as a bag of broken guitar strings. Sure it’s great to have an opinion, and be a prankster too, but when you come off like a 5th grader in a chat room talking shit, it just doesn’t look good. Hey Randy, congratulations, you come across like a real fucking toolbox in this interview!
1. You know the drill, plug your band, website, merchandise and projects?
2. Okay, it’s a sure thing that you can unload some Sludge about the Randy Piper & W.A.S.P. breakup. What really happened? Ready, Set, Sludge.
Blackies Idea for the 3rd album was him on the back like this hi m on the front like this and when you open it up its Blackie like this….. in the middle
3. What happened with the Alice Cooper stint back in 1986. A month or two seems pretty short?
I never knew alice had heart problems when did he get a stint
4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
STRYPER- because Pat Robertson thenks they should be taken out
5. Rate guitarists 1-10. A 1 being someone who sucks donkey balls, and a 10 being a Guitar God.
Chris Holmes = depends white or black donkey balls
Mick Mars = 10
CC DeVille = on coke or off coke
Michael Schenker = 10
Kane Roberts = Didn’t abel kill kane??
Chris Laney = 20 he’s got 2 personalities
Darrell Roberts = WHO?
Bruce Kulick = 10
Eddie Van Halen = 10
Blackie Lawless = when did he learn to play the guitar?
6. Chris Holmes joined Animal for a while. How did that come about, and why is he no longer involved?
we ran an AD in hustler magazine.. We Cancelled the AD
7. Chris also stayed on board in W.A.S.P. for many years after you r departue. Have you talked to him lately and was his most recent break up with Blackie similar to yours?
Yeah,he called wanting to know why we cancelled the AD… I left,but Blackie cheated on him
8. Back in 1985 Metallica, Armored Saint & W.A.S.P. toured as a package. What do you remember good or bad about that 3 band bill?
IT WAS A FUCKING BLAST
9. Give the Sludgeaholics 3 reasons why they should give a fuck about the band Animal?
our songs don’t suck
our music doesn’t suck
we do not suck
10. Memory Lane with 80s Bands. What comes to mind when you hear the following band names?
Keel = trying to get my dog to calm down
Black n’ Blue = my ex girlfriends eyes
Poison = something for blackies coffee
Accept = really… who puts thier balls on a wall??
Slaughter = House
Pantera = cool car
Dokken = something I do with a boat
Guns n’ Roses = appitite for destruction
Twisted Sister = is Chris Holmes doing drag again???
Slayer = EVIL
11. Name the 3 high points and the 3 low points of your musical journey to date?
BUD JACK VODKA
RUNNING OUT RUNNING OUT RUNNING OUT
12. You played in Sister & Circus Circus with Blackie pre-W.A.S.P. Tell us about the early days of these bands and the Hollywood scene? There was also mention that Nikki Sixx came down and auditioned for Sister. Whats the story behind that?
Nikki was never in sister, he played with us a a guest star in I wanna be somebody
13. Of all the bands you’ve shared the stage with in your life, who was the coolest to deal with and who were the biggest dicks?
coolest…. whats air conditioning gotta do with this
Biggest Dicks… are you guys a bunch of homos??
14. Has Randy Piper ever…
Saw Blackie Lawless naked and erect = again wiht the homo questions
Attended a Poison show = YES
Ate sushi in Japan = was that her name???
Met a member of Warrant = YES
Saw Darrell Roberts tribute band Alcoholica = WHos darrell roberts again
Been arrested for DUI = YES
Fucked an underage groupie = Are you affiliated with any law a forcement agency???
Wore hair extensions = no.. I don’t believe in killing horses
Discussed Metal Sludge with Tom Mathers = yeah about your pussy list
Wished you could be back in W.A.S.P. = would blackie be in the band
15. If you had a choice, between having your hands cut off with Blackies crotch saw blade or joining Firehouse as their lead guitarist for the next 5 years what do you do?
I’d rather Blackie Strap on his COD piece and cut up my ass crack then be in Firehouse.. or even tuff for that matter
16. If you could erase any W.A.S.P. song or songs from the history of time, which would you choose and why?
School Daze…. because its lame
17. What rock star deserves a big smack in the mouth and why?
Blackie why not
18. How much was your largest music related paycheck for and what did you buy with it?
are you in any way affiliated with the DEA or IRS???
19. Word Association.
Alice cooper= SNAKES
Gene Simmons= tongue
steve riley= drums
rik fox= hair
nikki sixx= cool
tom mathers= perris
tony richards= cool
mike varney= guitar
pauly shore= weasel
blackie lawless= steve duran
20. The Last of Randy Piper….
Last time you spoke with Blackie Lawless = I already forgotten
Last concert you watched from the crowd = Kenny wayne sheppard
Last gig you played with W.A.S.P. = Japan
Last time you signed an autograph = My last speeding ticket
Last movie you saw in a theatre = Sin city
Last time you barfed from drinking = Barf… thats alcohol abuse
Last fast food you ate = Skyline,,,, answering then stupid questions
Last time you received a royalty check for W.A.S.P. = I have to ask ARE you afflilated witht he department of taxation or the IRS
Last rock star you shook hands with = Jason Bonhom
Last time you visited Metal Sludge = NEVER
Gee let us review the brain wonder and his epic comments.
IT WAS A FUCKING BLAST
our songs don’t suck
we do not suck
who puts thier balls on a wall??
appitite for destruction
Are you affiliated with any law a forcement agency???
BUD, JACK, VODKA.
are you guys a bunch of homos???
I already forgotten
answering then stupid questions
I have to ask ARE you afflilated witht he department of taxation or the IRS
Actually we are not in any way related to the IRS, DEA or FBI, but we are affiliated with the Moron Police, the Spelling Police, and the Who Let This Guy Out On The Streets Police and they’ll ALL be over later to arrest you. Here is another lesson in how to NOT do an interview.