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Random thoughts on Don Dokken’s spew, 7/13/05

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON DON DOKKEN’S SPEW!

Don Dokken felt compelled to write the following press release in which he spouts off about random shit like his solo record, his new toys, the bitchin Dokken merch that can be found in Wal-Marts across the nation, and he even talks smack about the Dokken track included on the Hollywood Rocks CD Box Set.

Of course, the staff at Metal Sludge feel obligated to keep our loyal readers in the know, so we are sharing Don’s spew with you — complete with commentary by Chip Keifer, a few comments by Josie Hilton, and the triumphant return of CC Van Sixx! Where the fuck has he been?

Anyway, let’s get right to it. Here we go!

This update from Don Dokken, posted to both the Dokken site and his own personal site www.dokken.net and www.dondokken.com thanks for the newsflash sparky, but we kinda figured it wasn’t from www.stephen-pearcy.com.

"Hi everyone, it has been a long time since I have posted a note. And the world has been a better place. Since our European tour I have been locked up in my studio a.k.a. spare bedroom writing for a new Dokken release Lightning Strikes Again, great title, listen to Loudness much? we me, myself & I have 4 songs left to write before we start recording. For those of you that loved Tooth and Nail what about those of us who hated it? this new one is very similar Heavy Melodic Dokken. As opposed to the Soft, Bland Dokken?

I am also working on my solo record. Please tell us you?re kidding! Haven’t you been working on this for awhile? How much spare time do you have? The solo is coming out nicely. So you’re not kidding? Finally, I have been trying to get that one done forever! Its not like Up From The Ashes Thank God! its kinda like Sting meets Coldplay, Sting is a bitch, and Coldplay sounds nothing like Dokken. Are you on drugs? Don is trying to be trendy hoping someone else besides the five people that still like Dokken will buy it. I dig it, hope you all do as well. Doubtful. I pray I never have to hear it. Sadly, Metal Sludge will probably make me review it.

I will be spending the summer writing until they are done. What, you aren’t going to record unfinished songs? How revolutionary. I hope to have them in the can we do too — in the garbage can that is in time to hopefully get out on a fall tour. Tour means the same dives they played last time for a few weeks and Don is back home getting new hair. Until then Mick and Barry are out playing with Ted Nugent having the time of their life, and all doing Metal Sludge interviews and playing for someone with an actual sense of humor for the summer since their tracks are done. How can their tracks be done when you just said: "…we have 4 songs left to write before we start recording…" Well, Don is getting old and forgetful. Jon and I will be finishing it up now. Isn’t his name George? Oh that’s right, you two are fighting this week.

I see that there’s a song on the Hollywood Rocks CD. I see that there are many songs on this. Don needs to wear his glasses. Great product! Buy it right HERE! Really lame, really? When he says ‘lame,’ he must talking about Dokken’s career lately. Jeff’s singing It’s Not Love, and the fans dig it a really old demo. Well that was the concept here Don. Sounds bad, wrong singer, Sounds great, right singer. So Jeff is the right singer when you had him do "Just Got Lucky" every night on tour? I don’t get it, we do I don’t recommend it; we do it’s a rip off feeling bitter? to the fans there are 78 songs on it, and 1 Dokken track. Why is that a rip off? I had nothing to do with it. Perfect, now we really love it. That’s obvious as it came out as a good product. Suspect one of my ex-members is hurting for money since you fired him so sold it even though he has no rights to the Dokken name you had to buy your own name? but that’s another story. You’re correct. Pilson does NOT rhyme with Rokken’… but who gives a fuck.

We have a lot of cool things in the works What, you are finally quiting? Is there a mouse in your pocket again? you’ll all be seeing a lot of vintage Dokken T’s in the malls soon, and who’s hurting for money? its all the rage right now, it is? like how you?re still wearing a Members Only jacket? Unlike Dokken, which is not all the rage right now. as well as hats, wigs, key chains, harmonicas and other goodies kazoos they should be out around September in places like Hot Topics, it?s ‘Topic’ with no ‘s’ Wal-Mart, Tillys can you say sell out? and so on you will be able to get them at our web site as well. Your Web site blows. Stay here instead, people. They will be original art from 85 thru 89. You mean the years when Jeff & George where in the band? What?! You mean I cant get an Erase The Slate or Showdow Life t-shirt?? What a rip-off.

We are breaking out for one show this month. GAF. July 24th we will be playing the Hawgfest 2005 in Winter Park, CO. You don’t say… is Warrant playing that gig too? You mean there is a show just for your old fat female fans to attend? I bet Slaughter’s just green with envy. As I mentioned Barry and Mick are playing with Ted Nugent this summer and probably earning way more money and having a much better time, as we mentioned… the Hollywood Rocks Box Set is a great product buy it HERE but as Barry put it, it’s our day job until Dokken goes out in the fall with the wrong guitarist and the wrong bass player. So you can see them do double duty on the 24th, that should be fun! Twenty bucks says Nugent blows you off the stage!

I’ll be racing this summer speaking of racing… is your hairline still racing towards the back of your neck? nah, he probably doesnt have any real hair left for various fund raisers like your wallet? and I’ll send a few pics don’t bother That’s what the spam filter is for! this week of my new toys, Vibrators? 2 of them your ("you’re!" watch the grammar there) all gonna trip when you see these rides.Trip? Snoop Dog is that you? Until then keep the faith, now you’re tapping on a Bon Jovi title? enjoy the concerts this summer Thanks for the plug Don, the MSX-II tour news is right HERE! there’s a lot of cool bands playing Tesla, Queensryche, Whitesnake, and Motley should be a ROKKEN summer. How come you didn’t mention TUFF, Cinderella, Quiet Riot, Ratt, Firehouse, W.A.S.P., Metal Church, L.A. Guns, Stephen Pearcy, Def Leppard, or Pretty Boy Floyd? Why you gotta be a hater? Notice he did’nt say "Dokken" cuz they aren’t rokken any more.

Have fun see ya in the fall! D D
(DD as in double Ds as in 2 big man-boobs.)

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