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Jester bassist responds to Zyris 10 Questions! 3/21/05




Well this is fun!

The other day, we posted a very entertaining 10 Questions interview with a band from New Jersey called Zyris. Scott the drummer-guy answered the questions and ragged on everyone from Sebastian Bach to former Zyris guitarist Zakk Wylde. He even talked shit about another local Jersey band called Jester! This is what he had to say for part of question #5, in which we asked "Of the following, which do you prefer and why:"

Jester or American Angel = Are you kidding? American Angel hands down, they are playing shows again, and from what I hear, kicking ass. Jester, on the other hand, are a bunch of no-talent assclowns.

Then just today, we got a nifty e-mail from Jester’s bassist Rob. Apparently he took offense to Scott’s answer to that question, and so he sent us a response of his own! Here it is.

This is rich.

Imagine my surprise when I did my routine check of the Sludge this morning, only to spot the Headline "Zyris 10 Questions". Well, being painfully aware of the band in question, I proceeded with amusement to see what these Jersey Legends had to say. When I discovered that it was my old pal Scotty Asswipe doing the answering, I really became interested. What a shock to find out in question #5 that I was a no talent assclown! If only I had known this years ago, think of the the pain and disappointment I could have saved myself!

Before I go any further, I should introduce myself. My name is Rob Ellis and I played bass for Jester. Now, while we certainly didn’t re-invent rock or have insane technical proficiency, we played alot of great shows and recorded two cd’s that I am very proud of between about ’97-’01, and had a good run here in Jersey for a few years. Writing great songs and entertaining the crowd were always our prioritys, and I think we delivered. I’ll put our stuff up against ANY bands’, local or otherwise.

STACY KAY!Now onto Scott. I actually first met this douchebag back in 1991, when he was playing bass (couldnt get a gig drumming) for the legendary PENNY LANE under the name STACY KAY!! That’s right, I said STACY KAY. Please refer to the attached picture of Stacy with his ex-girlfriend, the also-legendary Billy Gash. (check out Metal Sludges’ glowing review of his fabulous music!) How very Pretty Boy Floyd of them!

My friend played guitar for this band, no matter how much I tried to talk him out of it, so I saw alot of Stacys’ bullshit up close. I’d have to say that Stacy is probably the single biggest bullshit artist I have ever known. I quickly learned not to believe a fuckin’ word that came out of his mouth. Really. The best was when I was was tagging along with these guys to L.A. (how they got gigs in California I’ll never know?) when Stacy, who was supposed to fly out and meet everyone (we all drove) tells them as they are almost to California that he can’t leave his house to get to the airport becuase his cat was stuck inside a reclining chair!! Huh?!? I guess at least that was a pretty original way to fuck over your band that had driven over 3000 miles. I should probably be more pissed because they asked me to fill in. Ugh! At least I got a free trip to L.A. out of the deal.

Around ’92 I was even desperate/naive enough to play in a band with this cum-dumpster playing the drums. What a fucking nightmare! Just always full of shit about everything.

And he showers about once a month. Fucking dirtbag.

So now he’s in Zyris (what the fuck is a Zyris??) and waits until Jester is out of the scene for a few years to talk some smack about us? How brave!! Funny how he only had nice things to say to my face whenever I would run into him over the last 5 or 6 years. Fucking cunt.

Oh, and for the record, Fred (my drummer in Jester) absofuckinlutely mops the floor with Stacy, in any reality. NO CONTEST! The guys a fucking HACK.

It’s also amusing how he is commenting on all these situations in Zyris’ past when he has only been in the band for the last few years. Anything he knows is only second hand information from the other guys in the band, so why is he answering all of these questions as if he were there? Standard bullshit. Maybe his band should shut him the fuck up before his big mouth makes them all look like assholes. Get over Zack already, I’m quite sure you spend alot more time thinking about him than he does thinking about you. Jesus christ, if my claim to fame was that Zack Wylde once played in my band 100 years ago, and we released our first album of original material after 14 (yea, fourteen) years of being together, I’d shoot myself!

Look out for their next release in 2014!

Jester CDHey Stacy, why don’t you come and give your opinion of Jester to me to my face at the Motley Crue Concert at the arts center on August 14th? I’m not hard to spot, all 6’4" 230lbs of me. Consider it an invitation. I would say man to man, but you need two men for that, you fucking twat. I’ll be hanging out on the lawn. Bitch.

Maybe I’ll see you before then.

I’m out like Stacys anal virginity.

Rob Ellis

We like giving the opportunity for anyone to stick up for themselves when someone takes them down, whether they’re a huge rock star, or someone from a local band that isn’t even a band anymore. No one ever said we weren’t fair! Well, maybe they’ve said that, but we could give a fuck.

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