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Sludgeaholic of the Month – August 2005, Mattley Crue




Our August 2005 Sludgeaholic of the Month should be familiar to anyone who frequents our Metal Sludge Chat Room. It’s none other than Mattley Crue! Mattley’s one of our younger Sludgeaholics, but that by no means implies he’s not a hardcore fan. He’s been coming here for awhile now, so what better way to honor his allegience than to make him our Sludgeaholic of the Month!

And even though he has absolutely nothing to do with our MSX-II Midwest tour, we’ll take the opportunity to plug it anway. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s all meet Mattley! Harroo harroo!

1. Who are you, where are you from, and how old are you?

Hello! My name is Matt MacLean, I’m from Rochester, New York, and I’m 18 years old! I am known as MattleyCrue on the Sludge boards and in chat!

2. Ambitions: Well, I think that I have lots of ambitions in life. Right now, I hope to win the lotto so I don’t have to go to college since I am going to be doing that in September. It would rule to not have to go to school anymore or work again. I would love to wake up at like 1:00 everyday and just worry about what I’m going to do at night. That would be pretty awesome. The odds of that happening aren’t too high, so I have some more realistic goals. I plan on going to college and majoring in Communications. I believe that it’s a very interesting field and it’s something that I wouldn’t be bored with. There are so many things to do in that field and it would be awesome to do something hair metal related (like have my own radio show) or something to that sort. Then of course I plan on finding that gorgeous Italian brunette and marrying her, and having three sons. I also would like to have a house built and live a pretty comfortable lifestyle. I think it would be pretty bad ass to have a job where I can leave early on Fridays and stuff and just worry about which golf course I’ll be playing on that afternoon.

3: Turn-ons: Oh man, I really love hot Italian brunette girls with a tan. They are the hottest girls ever. Those are the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen in my life. I used to like blondes but I’ve realized that brunettes are so much more awesomer. I also like girls that wear Express jeans and dress pretty preppy. Express jeans are so sexy on chicks. I just love walking behind them and seeing that little X on the back pocket. It’s fucking awesome. I also love girls that are funny and just act really cute. It’s also pretty cool when they’re pretty smart.

4. Turn-offs: Well, I really am not attracted to fat ugly fuckin women. They’re pretty disgusting. I hate to be mean, but you can find these types of bitches on the Ho Board. It makes me wonder why dudes chase women around these boards here? They must have shitty ass taste in chicks. I also don’t like freaks. I’m sorry but girls that dress in all black isn’t cool at all. Also dressing ghetto isn’t cool at all. That look is too scumbag-ish for me.

5. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?

Ok, I remember looking at the site during the summer of 8th grade. So since I just graduated that’s like what almost 5 years. It’s my favorite site ever and it’s the first thing I do whenever I go online. I think it’s awesome. I’ve had so many laughs on this site. There is nothing cooler online than Metal Sludge.

6. Favorite bands: Ok, I have lots of favorite bands, but I just might list my really favorite ones. Tesla is my favorite band ever. They just fucking rule. There are no shitty Tesla songs, and they fucking rule live. I’ve been blown away every time I’ve seen Tesla. So I guess here’s my list: Tesla, Motley Crue, Enuff Znuff, Cinderella, LA Guns, Skid Row, RATT, XYZ, Guns N Roses, Faster Pussycat, Dokken, The Scream, Union, Shark Island, Tuff, Steelheart, Shotgun Messiah, Vain, Stryper, Bang Tango, Whitesnake, Winger, White Lion, Badlands, Roxy Blue (I am lucky to have this CD), Wildboyz (I feel pretty lucky to have this CD), Def Leppard, Lillian Axe, Pretty Boy Floyd, Bulletboys, Testament, Warrant, Megadeth, Anthrax, Dangerous Toys, Firehouse, Kingdom Come, Slaughter, Danger Danger, Moon Dog Mane, Babylon AD, Britny Fox, Great White, Tora Tora, WASP, Poison, Quiet Riot, Van Halen, Love/Hate, Lynch Mob, KIX, Tommy Lee, etc. See, I basically love hair metal and I own shit by like all of these bands. I try to track hard to find stuff that nobody likes or wants anymore. This is the greatest type of music ever and there is nothing like it. I don’t ever see myself listening to any other type of music. Fuck, in like 50 years, I’ll probably be driving a Cadillac and cranking "These Daze" by Enuff ZNuff! How fuckin cool is that?! Pretty fuckin cool!

7. Least favorite bands: Oh man, there are tons of bands that I don’t like. Some of the bands that come to mind are like every shitty band that is played on the radio and stuff. My friends like that fucking shitty ass emo stuff. It’s like the worst kind of music ever. It fucking blows. There are so many emo bands, and I can’t even begin to name them all. They’re all just horrible. Even the worst hairbands are still better than that whole genre! Also, I dislike shitty ass metal bands. My brother likes of this metal where they just scream and it’s horrible. Bands like Black Dahlia Murder really fuckin suck along with Killswitch Engage and Atreyu! (I had to fuckin sit through Atreyu and the coolest thing they did was a Bon Jovi cover!) I also hate the Dave Matthews Band…people around here worship that dude. HE FUCKIN SUCKS DICK! What the fuck is so great about Dave Matthews dude? I’ve heard some songs and it’s horrible. Just a few days ago, tons of people I know went to see them and I’m like "You guys are fuckin crazy! You should have saved your money for ROCK NEVER STOPS"! I also think Bon Jovi sucks! I love hair metal and everything, but they’re way too cornball for me. Fuck, I even like Firehouse better! At least Firehouse rocks ("Helpless" = the best Firehouse song ever)! Oh yeah, how could I forget rap music! Man, that stuff is horrible!

I don’t know how kids dig that shit so much! It’s like really bad!

The Notorious Tattz and DJ GRANDMASTA SNIFFLESNATCH (ALL CAPS YO!) have sicker rimes than they do!

8. What do you do for a living?

I work at the most amazing place ever…WEGMANS. It’s a grocery store and it ROXX. I’m telling you, it’s the most amazing grocery store you’d ever walk into. With a vast selection of produce, and an in-store bakery, Wegmans is THE place to shop for groceries. There is no one better than Wegmans! We were named the #1 company to work for according to Fortune Magazine! We basically fucking rule, and I’ve talked to customers who live in different states and they say that the joint is amazing and there is nothing like it. I’m fuckin telling you, Wegmans just rules. At Wegmans, all you will get is quality products and the BEST customer service. At Wegmans, everyday you get our best! www.WEGMANS.com.

9. Of the following, which do you prefer and why?

Ford Mustang or Maverick = Ford Mustang of course! It’s my first car! I have a 2001 Mustang and it’s amazing. Stangs are like my favorite car ever, so I had to get one. I would love to have an 05! They’re fucking beautiful. In a couple of years, I’ll probably get one.
Aria Giovanni or Jasmin St. Claire = Aria roxx! She’s like the best. But you know who might even have Aria beat? Nikki Nova! But I’ve had some fun nights jacking off to Aria’s pics. OH MAN SHE IS FUCKING HOT.
Enuff Z’Nuff or Tuff = Enuff ZNuff! EZN is one of my favorite bands ever, and they just fucking rule. I don’t know how these guys didn’t make it big. I have all 13 albums, and they just might be the perfect band. The songs are simply amazing, and they SHOULD BE PLAYED ON THE RADIO. I don’t see why they aren’t. EZN has the most catchiest songs ever, and like last month I called up Chip ZNuff, and he was so fucking cool. Chip, if you’re reading this, please come to Rochester! More people should get into Enuff Znuff…you can buy any album, I’m telling you, you WON’T be disappointed. I also like Tuff, but they don’t have shit on Chip and Donnie!
Vacationing in the Hamptons or Poconos = Well, I haven’t been to either place, so I’d just say that I would rather go to LA! If I had to chose between the Hamptons or the Poconos, I would have to say the Hamptons tho.
Metal Sludge Gossip Board or Chatroom = The Chatroom! It roxx! I’ve had so much fun in that fucking chatroom. It sucks that certain people have to take things such as a chatroom so seriously though. I mean, get a fuckin a life. If you’re worrying about who has more power than someone else, you really have too much fuckin time on your hands. I’ll have to admit that chat was wayyyy more fun a while back before all of the bullshit drama has happened. Fuck, most of the people on Sludge that are on the boards or in chat are older than me, and the sad thing is that I act more mature than certain people. That’s pretty ridicious and embarrassing for them. I try to stay away from the boards though. I just skim through the Gossip Board basically but the other boards are lame.
Paper or plastic = Plastic bags are so much easier. It’s a pain in the balls when someone wants paper in plastic. You know what? Plastic bags are sturdy enough. I don’t know why they need paper inside of them. But it really pisses me off when some old ass hags want DOUBLE PAPER. That really sucks. Get the fuck outta here.
Wegmans or Shop-Rite = Wegmans rules. There is NO grocery store that is better or that has high quality products. Wegmans roxx. No other grocery store is the #1 company to work for either. So enuff said.
Tattoos or piercings = Tattoos! They fuckin rule. I have 7 tattz so far, but I’m gonna get sleeves. I fuckin love tattoos. I also have both ears pierced but Tattoos > Piercings.
Motley Crue with Vince Neil or John Corabi = I love Motley Crue. They’re one of my favorite bands ever. But here’s the thing. John Corabi fucking rules. MC94 is my favorite album ever. So I’m going to have to with Motley with Corabi. Of course, people say that it’s not Motley Crue without Vince, but you know what, it’s way better. Shout At The Devil is probably my second favorite Motley record, but MC94 has it beat. I only wish that the Crue made more records with Corabi. Sure, it probably wouldn’t sell as good, but who gives a fuck. The music was way better. 10,000 Miles Away is one of the greatest songs I’ve ever heard!
Trampy chicks or a refined women = I like highly sophisticated chicks. If I liked trampy bitches, I could just look around that the Ho Board here (Ohhh shitttttttt!). Yeah I like chicks that aren’t skanks. If I was a chick, I wouldn’t want to be a fuckin whore, so I don’t know why there are lots of chicks that are like that. It’s not too cool, and I love beautiful chicks that have morals!

Mattley Crue
Mattley and that Mustang he stole from Wegman’s parking lot

10. Most of the music you listen to was released before you were out of diapers. Yet, you’re totally turned on to the Eighties rock scene– was your babysitter a Slaughter groupie or something?

Well, when I started to get into music, I really liked Metallica (a band that I can’t stand now!). I was a huge Metallica fan but as you grow older you develop better taste in music. Face it, the old Metallica was good and even Load and ReLoad weren’t too bad. I have to admit that songs 7-13 on ReLoad are pretty bad ass. But St. Anger really fucked them up for me. So anyways, after I got into Metallica, I got into other thrash bands like Anthrax and Megadeth. Then I finally got into Motley Crue. The Crue is probably the coolest band ever, but from Motley, I branched off to other hairbands. From there I just got into like every hairband and to this day that’s all I listen to. I’d say that for around the past 5 years I’ve been a total freak for hairbands. I am constantly reading stuff online about hairbands and I search for rare CDs. It’s the greatest type of music ever, and it’s so fun! Power ballads also RULE. So yeah, that’s basically how I got into hairbands.

11. Yes or no, have you ever:

Lied about your age = Of course I have. Some people think that I could pass for like 20 something, and that’s pretty cool. So sure, I’ve lied about it.
Heard your parents having sex = Woah! That would be pretty disgusting. I haven’t stood by the bedroom door trying to listen in, but I think I’ve heard the headboard slamming against the wall when I was downstairs! That’s pretty crazy and it’s a disgusting thought! Atleast I’ve never walked in on them!
Pierced your cock = Fuck no! Hey I’m not DisturbedMOL!
Shoplifted anything from Wegmans = Back in the day when I was a kid, I would steal donuts. Actually I still do that today (but only when I’m not at the store I work at)! Here’s what you do. You walk up to the thing where the donuts are, grab a bag to place the donuts in there and say "Hey Mom, I’m gonna get some donuts!" Then you put the donuts in the bag and walk away to some aisle away from the bakery department. They you eat your donut and hide the back behind some items. No one knows you just ate some donuts. I’ve done this method for years and I plan on carrying it over to my children someday.
Held hands with a mentally challenged person = Yeah unfortunately I have. We have some fuckin retarded people working at Wegmans. The position is called Helping Hands and we walk the parking lots and grab the carts and bring them back into the store. (But most importantly, we’re out there helping customers load groceries in their vehicles and asking them for help!) However, retards can handle other jobs at Wegmans so they usually get thrown into doing Helping Hands. There’s a couple of retarded dudes and a retarded chick and I’ve given them high 5s or even shook their hands. So I guess I have held hands with retards.
Peed your pants = Of course. I mean as a kid I probably pissed my pants a lot, I’m guessing. But actually a few years ago, I shit my fuckin pants. I was in some store and I farted and shit came out. It was a crazy day.
Been naked in public = Dude, whenever I go in my pool I’ll pull my trunks down and do flips or handstands so everyone can see my hairy ass. It’s fuckin fun and I love doing it.
Been nice to a fat chick only to have her tell everyone you banged her = Yeah it was pretty unfortunate and that shit happened to me quite recently. I try to be nice then I end up gettin fucked in the end! Fuck that!
Touched another man’s penis = Fuck no.
Drooled on a chick while sleeping = Of course.

12. 5 CDs I can’t live without:


13. How many Sludgettes do you think you’ll get to bang as a result of being chosen as our August SOTM, and which one is first?

Oh man, they’ll probably all want to bang me. I’d probably bang Lourdes Lucas, the SOTM from like January. She’s so hot.

14. The Last of Mattley:

Last CD you purchased = Enuff Znuff "Tweaked"
Last concert you attended = Def Leppard/Bryan Adams
Last time you jacked off on a Looney Tunes pillow = Well that happened when I was in either 3rd or 4th grade (is that an early age for whacking?!)…so that had to be like what, I don’t know between 7 or 8 years ago maybe? That pillow is long gone in the thrash since my mother couldn’t get the smell off. It smelled like dirty asshole by the way, but it was just jizz!
Last present someone gave you = I got some money from when I graduated.
Last book you read = Tommyland by Tommy Lee
Last time you saw a marching band = Uh, well I don’t know if it’s a marching band but the school band performed at graduation. They sure as fuck didn’t march but I don’t go to parades or anything so I don’t really remember seeing marching bands.
Last time you lied = Probably like a little while ago.
Last famous person you met = Uh, probably Steven Adler when I saw Adler’s Appetite. I went up to him and shook is hand. He was fuckin cool. My brother and I each got a drunk stick. Our Dad went with us to the show and he shook his hand too, so I told my Dad "Hey Dad you just shook hands with a cocksucker"! My Dad was like "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BRING ME TO THIS THEN!"
Last time you barfed = Like last month when I got drunk. I came home, went upstairs to take a piss, and I just fuckin through up.
Last time you took a shower = Like 10 minutes ago! I shower every night dude!

15. How do you feel about being our August 2005 Sludgeaholic of the Month?

Oh man it’s an honor to be the August 2005 Sludgeaholic of the Month! It’s such an awesome feeling! Never in a million years would I have thought to be SOTM. This is something that’s truly really cool, and when you love hair metal as much as I do, this is like reaching the top.

16. Personal Motto: "HAIR METAL ROXX" This is one of the coolest phrases ever. I use it like all of the time in real life. If you go into the chat or something, you’ll probably see that, or this one : "!!!!!!!!!" The exclamation points rule.

I would like to thank Metal Sludge for giving me the opportunity to be SOTM. I would also like to say "YO" to some cool people from here…Nathan S. Axel, Sully, CMK, Lexxus, Tig, Trashy, BC, and whoever else is pretty cool in the chat and stuff. You guys rule.

Oh yeah, I’d also like to make a prediction. I predict that SkullSession and Poisongrrl24 will both get married someday. First of all, they’re both virgins and they’d make a perfect couple since they’re not wanted!

This was a blast! Thankz dudez!


Well, thank YOU, Mattley Crue! Congratulations on being our August 2005 Sludgeaholic of the Month!

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