SLUDGEAHOLIC OF THE MONTH
Michael Kelly Larsen
Michael Kelly Larsen, also known as Boardmadd, considers himself a dedicated Sludgeaholic. He’s a former member of the "Glam Purgatory" that was the 80’s San Francisco Metal Scene. Today, he is a self-proclaimed snowboarding junkie and rides the mountains of the West wearing a customized Metal Sludge jersey (if you see BOARDMADD, 67 anywhere, it’s him). So sit back and learn a bit about our newest Sludgeaholic of the Month.
1. Where are you from and how old are you?
I’m 35, officially out of the demographic that advertisers cater to, so nobody cares what I buy anymore. Yay Me! I live on the outskirts of the City by the Bay, AKA San Francisco, CA.
2. Ambitions: To get my kids old enough so that Mizz and I can once again go out to shows without booking an entire fleet of support people for the experience. Other than that, I’d like to qualify for USASA Nationals in the "old men" division. USASA is the United States of America Snowboarding Association, the amateur competition body that I throw my hat into every year to see how much more damage I can do to myself without becoming a total cripple!
3. Turn-ons: Confidence, long hair, Sashimi, stiletto heels of any type, well maintained snowboard parks, Indian Food, leather and PVC, kindness, a bright sparkling pair of eyes, and chicks who know how to throw down *B^).
4. Turn-offs: Self-centeredness, conceit, too much make-up, radio stations that can only seem to play 15 songs OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!, bailing on rail slides, women who act like they are "God’s gift to men", dishonesty, and kooks who snake your line while heading for a hit. DIE! DIE!! DIE!!!!
5. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
Since September, 2001. I was looking at reviews of the movie "Rock Star" and saw the Sludge review. Went to the main page and saw a legend be born in the guise of Anthony "Foggy" Focx. Laughed so hard that I spent the day literally reading the entire site, and now I hit it just about daily. Started posting to the Gossip Board sometime in August of 2002, and it’s one of my biggest distractions *B^)!
6. Favorite bands:
Aerosmith, Anthrax, Armored Saint, Black Sabbath, Cheap Trick, Dangerous Toys, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Kill For Thrills, Kiss, Little Caesar, Mother Love Bone, Pantera, Queensryche, Scorpions, Thin Lizzy, Vain, Van Halen(Roth-era), Y&T
Audioslave, Bowling For Soup, Disturbed, Incubus, Injected, Linkin Park, Marvelous3/Butch Walker, Saliva, Tool
Not Metal But Love Anyway:
Sky Cries Mary, Bad Religion, Pennywise, early Cure, P.I.L., Sisters of Mercy, Mission UK, Switchblade Symphony, Killing Joke, Hum, Operation Ivy, Rancid, The Distillers, Dance Hall Crashers
7. Least favorite bands:
Avril Lavigne, please take your fake punk ethos and GO HOME!!!!!!!
8. What do you do for a living?
I work as a testing engineer for a tech. company. I can honestly say I get paid to break things! It’s great in that I typically can go to work looking any way I want to, I can set my own hours, and I can take days off in the middle of the week with little issue to go ride. I’m also an sometime snowboard journalist who covers the South Lake Tahoe Snowboarding scene in "The Geezer X Chronicles" (http://www.GeezerX.net/Chronicles/). That’s more of a "write for barter" type of gig, but hey, if anyone wants to pay me for my words, let’s talk *B^). I’m also an amateur level competitive snowboarder (meaning I definitely don’t get paid for that), but I get subsidized to partake of my hobby in a big way by Nidecker Snowboards and CLAN BOOTIECRUNCH.
9. When did you lose your virginity and how was it?
I was 17. I kinda’ got in trouble on this one as I told the girl in question that I wasn’t a virgin. Well, let’s just say that the truth made itself pretty apparent soon enough. She was cool until it was over…. and then she tore me a new one! She was somewhat upset with me for not filling her in on that minor detail. OOPS! Not one of my smoother moments, to say the least. Otherwise, no complaints *B^).
10. When was the last time you got laid?
Last night, around 10:45pm, well out of earshot of our kids. That location varies. Aren’t you thrilled you now know that (LOL)?
11. If you could date any of our Sludgettes Of The Month, who would you pick?
Being I’m a married dude, that’s kind of out of the question. However, since we’re looking at hypotheticals, I’d love to hang out with Stephanie; it seems we have a lot in common. We’re both training junkies, so that would either be a plus or we’d get on each others nerves (LOL). I think TinaLu would also be a blast to hang out with, she seems really down to earth and sweet, and Amanda, very pretty and articulate girl, plus she happens to be close by (LOL).
12. When not reading Metal Sludge, I most likely can be found: Spending time with my family, working, weight training, riding my mountain bike or skateboard, dreaming of snowboarding, driving to snowboarding, and if I’ve been a good boy, actually snowboarding. I’m a simple guy *B^).
13. 5 CDs I can’t live without:
Ooh, that’s tough. It changes a lot, but if I have to pick 5 today…
The Beatles — "Revolver"
Black Sabbath — "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath"
Mother Love Bone — "Shine/Apple Combo"
Pennywise — "Unknown Road"
and my custom mix CD with all my favorite snowboard inspired tunes (OK, not a CD in the classic sense, but I go few places without it).
14. What’s the worst snowboarding accident you’ve had or seen?
Worst one I’ve had was back in April, when I had to avoid smashing into a rider and crashed at a high speed. I didn’t think much of it at first, until I got to the top of the chairlift and couldn’t lift my arm. Turned out I splinetered the tuberosity of my left humerus (short answer, I broke my shoulder, quite badly).
Worst one I actually saw was a guy in a boardercross race I was in. The dude fell and got run over by a couple of other racers. they got up. He didn’t. They had to helivac him off the mountain. I don’t know how serious it was, but to get a helicopter up there, it had to be pretty bad.
15. How does if feel being our Sludgeaholic Of The Month for (Whenever) 2003?
This rules! See kids, play in the clubs for 10 years, get married, have kids, go grey, lose your hair, and you too can someday be like me (LOL). Seriously, I love this place, and to be picked is quite the honor. Big time gratis!!!
16. Personal Motto:
"This above all else…. to thine own self be true!"
"Line it, Lock it, Shut Up, and DROP!!!"
Congratulations to Michael for being our Sludgeaholic Of The Month for February 2003!