SLUDGEAHOLIC-SAN OF THE MONTH
Soichi Masuda showing some KNAC love!
Being that it is July, the month that celebrates American freedom, what better time to have our first Japanese Sludgeaholic! That’s right Japan, the land that brought us siestas, tacos, and Chihuahuas!
Soichi sent us the following email:
I want to be a Sludgeholic of the Month because
1. Want to be a 1st Japanese guy (oriental) in your site.
2. I ordered your b jersey and been waiting for a while, wondering you guys still remember pearl harbour. haha
3. I am vice president of kinkos like company (copy center) in my hometown and only guy who was tailed by kinkos (they suck) in your site. (maybe)
4. I am from Nagasaki Japan and you A- bombed us a long time ago. huh! You can hear some intersting story (not bitching)
5. A piture with chicks!
6. A picture with my son is a sword fighter (kendo) and if you dont let me a Sludgeholic of the Month, Bastard boy floyd will be a dead meat sooner or later. ( Dont worry hes only 9)
7. I used to live in St.Paul Minn so I have no difficulty to answer your English Question.
Being that Soichi might know some Ninjas, we decided not to piss him off and make him our July 2002 Sludgeaholic Of The Month! Plus he’s holding a Wild Boyz CD in that picture up above, so how can you top that?
1. Where are you from and how old are you?
I am from Nagasaki, Japan southern part of Japan. I am sure you guys know the name of the city like Hiroshima. Your senpai A-bombed us about 60 yrs ago.
I will be 40 this year (cant believe huh? I still have to show my ID or Passport when I go into the bar in USA like Ichiro) Happy that most of the bands of the members (like Crue, Poison, Warrant, Bulletboys) you bitching about are as old as I am except Mick Mars!
2. Ambitions: I wanted to be a guitarist. I bought Fender Stratocaster, Gibson Lespaul, Charvel guitar and fernandez Zosan, finally I found I had no talent at all.Now I run my company now so my interst now is to see my sales of my company and my bank account.
In the future, after my kids grown up as respectable and proper person I would like to donate money to the people of starvation ( have to find certain way I dont trust those institution and organization) and who lost their parents in their youngerhood(by car accident and suicide)and maybe support bands who have no money but talent.(not you, BB Floyd !) Hope I dont bankrupt myself and live happily with my family. And attend Metal Sludge extravanza.
3. Turn-ons: Bonus tracks ! Well I like cute girls, and nice person to talk with. Fooling around to find those used CD you tell us in your site.Playing with my kids.American and Japanese food. Watching American movies, reading Funny books ( I read the Dirt, Dave Barry and am reading Jizzy Pearl now in this 3 month) And of course you guys fuckin Metal-Sludge! ( Did you expect I say Samurai,Geisha girl, Sushi, Raw fish, Rice, Chow mein,Teriyaki, Banzai and those Soap land and Fashin Massage?)
4. Turn-offs: Bitches always talks bad thing about somebody and thinks they are perfect. My wife when she is hysterical. Stupid selfish employees, dirty filthy about money and always think about their own shit. And Nasty Drunkers.And Japanese Tax system (corporation taxes percentage are too high ! )
5. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
It will be 3 years I think.
6. Favorite bands: Well American Heavy Metal bands of 80’s and early 90’s like Van halen, Motley Crue, Tuff , Poison, Warrant, B&B of course Wild Boyz ! .(Some people say Warrant sucks but I bought some bootleg Video of Warrant in Shinjuku Tokyo last week I saw Billy Morris guitar play and Mike Fusano drum Play, they are very cool and great.)and bands buried themselves a long time ago. I like those clear? sounds. Hope they dont give up.
And hey Stevie Rachelle ! Is that real your signature or your goat? (See my backgrounds of picture)
7. Least favorite bands:I dont listen to Hip Hop music and dont know the name of those. And I am too old to listen those Thrash, Death, Gore heavy metal music. Also I dont listen to Japanese Pops either instead I sing terribly Karaoke.
8. Do you know any ninjas?
I dont see them around these decades, but I know one guy whose name is Hattori from Iga, Mie-prefecture. He said his ancestors was Ninja. I heard some Ninja club in some place and they still train like walking on water, hiding ceiling, submerge in water with straw. What the heck !
9. What was the last American band you saw in concert?
Dream Theater when they came in Fukuoka about 2 month ago ( 2hrs drive from my hometown ) They were great !
10. Do you think you’re smarter than the average American?
Yes and No. I graduated both American and Japanese High School. In America ‘ Frank B Kellogg’ in St Paul, Minn (Most of the Japs and American think I went to learn how to make cornflakes or Frog high school. In fact, named after senator secretary of the states. That high school was absorbed by Ramsey so no more, I heard ) I met a lot of smart and stupid dropout people there. Same thing in Japan too. Well I am University graduated person but I never thought myself very smart, I am about same brain inside of my head as average American. Hey wait a minute! Sometimes people visit your site and bitch and slag you, they cant understand humors and cant read between the lines are really stupid and assholes. American-English is my second lannguage but I can figure out most of what you are trying to say. Well they are not Average American anyway.
11. When was the last time you got ecchi?
I did with my wife a couple days ago. (How do you know those Japanese? )
12. What do you do for a living?
I am a vice president of certain copy center. We do blue prints, large size copy, microfilming, DPE service and we scan documents, etc. We inport a lot of machines from your country Kodak, Xerox and Bell Howell stuff. We mostly work for some big company used to consruct big aircraft carriers like ‘ Musashi’ and plane ‘fighter Zero’ and do delivery service in my hometown area. One of my best friends work this big company left for USA yesterday peddling windmill now. (He is a wrestlemania)
Well Japanese economy is real slow there used to be 190 employees in my company now 110 including subsidiary company. Running company business is real tough and so much pain and too much stressed. Sometimes bad blood between me and employees happens. I can understand why music band members split very often. I couldnt be a guitarist but its so hard to maintain company, its kinda same thing I suppose.( I also remember I joined 30 foreign students bus tour from St.Paul to Miami to NY to Chicago. Everything got strange and horny, and insane, well it was 23 yrs ago.Tour bus was hell)
13. Are you still bitter about that whole "Dropping a bomb on Nagasaki" thing?
Actually NO myself, the day dropped a bomb, my father skipped out his elementary school and most of his classmates died. My mother was out of town 20 miles from bomb spot. And our house was another side of mountain, was not destroyed or radiated. Fortunately no relatives died either.There is Bombed Day in my city like you guys have Pearl Harbor Day. It was war thing not Terrorist thing happening right now. I percept that your elders dropped a bomb because we didint surrender and we started the war at first ( we had reasons too). I am sure some Americans hate us if he lost his parent or relatives by our attack of Kamikaze thing. Some Nagasaki citizens still send written protest to countries did nuclear test. They are old and some people has keloid on their face or lost their family.Mostly it happens personal hatred and enmity. But we can never forget that America rebuilt Japan from Americans citizens tax! And seriously will never happen those silly thing between us again It is only my opinion. So I am not bitter !
14. Rewrite the following Japanese sentences in English:
Uuume Mecyakucya ni shite Sebastian = whoooooooo ! Do me a fuck of the century, Baz san(bitch boy)
Kazoku sorrote no seppuku ga yokatta = I should have not do HARAKIRI while my wife doing me blow job,while my son doing sword kill lessens, my daughter eating sweet stuff, we shouldve done together before we go to eat White Castle !
Hey who made those stupid Japanese? Some Jap-American?
Soichi with Tesla
15. How do you feel about being our Sludgeaholic-san Of The Month for July 2002?
Domo Arigatogozaimasita.Was surprised. Very honored. I am real happy that I can be the same homepage with my heroes. I wish I had a chance to talk with them someday and like to visit those Atomic Punks, Metal Sludge Extravanza, and Wild Boyz reunion concert.
1st Asian? Feels like a winner of something!
I owe to Americans who supported me when I was 18 as a foreign student. They took care of me for nothing almost a whole year. My father accepted a lot of American students and also I welcome young boy from Wisconsin next month. Then I will be SOTM of the July, hope he will not start thinking stay away fom me reading my stupid and coarse sentences
16. Personal Motto:After many years of perseverance and endurance,there is a way.(But maybe blocked)
Congratulations to Soichi-san, our Sludgeaholic-san Of The Month!