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Sludgette of the Month – August 2005, Laura




Our August 2005 Sludgette of the Month comes to us from the city by the lake! Nope, not Cleveland, Milwaukee, or even Salt Lake City. She’s from Chicago! She’s also a huge self-proclaimed fan of Jani Lane and Warrant, but don’t hold that against her.

Chances are she might even show up to one of the shows on our MSX-II Midwest tour. Yeah, we know that’s a shameless plug for our tour, but it’s our site and we’ll do with it as we wish. So enough fucking around… let’s meet Laura!

Laura!1. Name and age: Laura, 30

2. Height: 5’ 6”

3. Weight: 130

4. Where are you from?

Born and raised in the Chicago burbs. Right now I’m living in the rockin town of Glen Ellyn, IL (sarcasm)

5. Ambitions: To survive the next two years of medical school, and, after graduation, go on tour with the newly reformed Warrant as Jani’s Occupational Therapist and become his 3rd ex-wife.

6. Turn-ons: heavy metal, long haired rocker guys, concerts, summertime, chocolate, Freaks and Geeks, the 70s and 80s (I prefer to live in the past), shopping, carnies, scary movies, classic rock, San Diego, good conversation, yoga, Metal Mania, power ballads, sunsets, a good makeout session, 80s cover bands, Napolean Dynomite, love, the outdoors, road trips, a good sense of humor, killer guitar solos, the Zipper, and yes, I am proud to admit it, Jani Lane

7. Turn-offs: dance clubs, drama, work, winter, know-it-alls, cockiness, excess body hair, rotten teeth, people who never shut up, breaking plans, no ambition

8. Favorite bands: Warrant (or Jani solo), Slaughter (Mark… yum), Motley Crue, Skid Row (Sebastian), Trixter, Tesla, Danger Danger, KISS, Cinderella, Whitesnake, Poison, Great White, Firehouse, Def Leppard, White Lion, Stryper, old school Metallica, Rush, Megadeth, Wildside, Ratt, Bon Jovi, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, VH, VVI… I could go on and on, but I think you get the drift ;)

9. Least favorite bands: I’d have to say I’d rather have wooden screws drilled into my head, my finger nails slowly removed one by one, and my spleen removed with a soup spoon then be subjected to a night of dance/rap/hip hop music

10. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?

I discovered Metal Sludge about 3 years ago while doing a search on Kevin DuBrow (ya know, the wig mystery)… once I discovered it, though, I didn’t leave my computer for weeks on end reading all the old backlogs

11. What exactly do you do for a living?

Right now, I am unemployed!! I’m taking a month off to do absolutely nada. But starting Sept. 6th I’ll be joining the ranks of 20+ year olds and going Back To School. (And yes, at my age, I DO feel like Rodney Dangerfield). I’m making a change from Computer Programmer to Occupational Therapist!

12. Of the following, which do you prefer and why:

Jani Lane or Jaime St. James = Jani…who could resist a man in white leather fringe?

Growing Pains or Mr. Belvedere = Mr. Belvedere…Wesley was the coolest!

Blaze Radio or the Classic Metal Show = Blaze Radio – I always dreamed of being a Blaze girl back in the day

Nickelodean or Cartoon Network = I don’t watch either, but I’ll have to go with Cartoon Network ;)

O’Hare or Midway airport = O’Hare – I’m getting to be an old pro at those electronic check-ins

Kung Fu movies or Westerns = sigh… how about Lifetime?

Cherry Pie or Dog Eat Dog = I’ll take a combo of both… Dog Eat Dog overall, but “Blind Faith” is gonna be my wedding song ;)

Enuff Z’Nuff or Supermercado = EZN – I’m ashamed to say I’m from Chicago and don’t even know Supermercado

Bananas or gourds = Bananas are yummy

The Double Door or Exit = Exit hands down – better eye candy ;)

13. If someone grabbed your purse and dumped it out on the floor at this exact moment, what contents would they find?

Lipstick, keys, camera, gum, cell phone, Caribou card, dental floss… typical girl stuff.


Laura captures the General Lee! Too bad she forget her Daisy Dukes at home. :(

14. Yes or no, have you ever:

Changed a tire = luckily I’ve always had someone to bail me out

Grown a Chia Pet = no but I’ve raised sea monkeys

Made out with Steven Adler = back in the day, that woulda so ruled

Taken a bath with Jerry Dixon soap = LOL can’t say I’ve had the pleasure

Caught a ball at a Cubs game = I’m too busy drinking, socializing and getting a tan to actually watch the game

Mud-wrestled a dwarf = You up for a challenge, Jim Bob?

Stuck your finger down your throat and barfed = HA HA, haven’t we all?

Killed a spider all by yourself = ah, the joys of living alone

Stolen a lawn ornament = probably back in my road sign stealing days

Shaved your head = No, I’ve pretty much had the same hairstyle since I was 10

15. Name 5 CDs you can’t live without:

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath – Black Sabbath (reminds me of my old college days)

DRFSR – Warrant (high school days)

Boston – Boston (self-titled)

Great White (Best Of)

Heavy Metal Love (compilation)

16. The way to my heart is: 80s metal, long hair and a warm summer night

Laura and Jani!

Laura travels back in time to capture a pre-Celebrity Fit Club 2 Jani Lane! It’s amazing what technology can do these days.

17. How do you feel about being our August 2005 Sludgette of the Month?

It’s about damn time! Just kidding, I’m absolutely elated – this is the highlight of my year ;)

18. Personal motto:

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

You can check out more of Laura at her MySpace page, at http://www.myspace.com/blzgirl

Congratulations to Laura for being our August 2005 Sludgette of the Month!

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