SLUDGETTE OF THE MONTH
Our July 2005 Sludgette of the Month comes to us from the land of wood chippers, dinosaur excavations, and the geographical center of North America. That’s right, it’s North Dakota! Her name is Crys, she’s been a fan of Metal Sludge for years, and she even sent in Sludge Captures last fall with Warrant and L.A. Guns! So what better way to honor her achievements than by making her our Sludgette of the Month. Let’s get more acquainted with Crys!
1. Name and age: Crys – 24
2. Height: 5′ 7"
3. Weight: 122 lbs
4. Where are you from?
The center of HELL!! North Dakota!!!
5. Ambitions: Finish College (I got a year left of Nursing School) and maybe do some modeling. Who knows… I don’t even know what I’m doing 5 minutes from now!
6. Turn-ons: Tattoos, Musicians, Long hair if its taken care of, Guys with deep voices, Nice teeth, Guys that wear eyeliner…
7. Turn-offs: Arrogant assholes, Big Egos, Bad teeth, Bad Breath, Body Odor, Greasy hair, Basically, dudes that dont take care of themselves.
8. Favorite bands: Motley Crue, Tesla, Ratt, Firehouse, Warrant, Great White, Cinderella, Jackyl, Queensryche, LA Guns, Faster Pussycat, Methods of Mayhem/Tommy Lee, Poison, Van Halen, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Yngwie Malmsteen, The Scream, Love/Hate, Whitesnake, Dokken, Beautiful Creatures, Brides of Destruction, Journey, Alice Cooper, Jonny Lang, ZZ Top, Def Leppard, PBF, Audioslave, Breaking Benjamin, Silvertide, The Strip City Sinners… Some local bands out of Minneapolis: ModiFY, Skywynd ( www.Skywynd.com ) and Fifty Seven Stitch ( www.57stitch.com ) Check these guys out…THEY ROCK!!!!
9. Least favorite bands: Anything Rap or anything on constant rotation on the pop radio stations…
10. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
Since 2002 I believe. My friend told me to come here. I’ve been addicted ever since.
11. Exactly what do you do for a living?
I work at a Tanning Salon.
WOOOHOOOO! Free Tans!
12. You live in North Dakota. What exactly goes on up there, and how fucked up are the seasons? Are they really as extreme as everyone thinks they are?
Actually… a whole lotta nothin. North Dakota sucks ass. Lots of stuff to do if you’re into COWBOYS…. Which I’m not. Lots of Rodeos! YEEEEEEHAW!
North Dakota’s seasons really are extreme. Our winters get extremely cold and last about 6 Months. Summer is usually hot with high humidity.
13. Name one good thing about:
Boys = Come on now. Who wants a boy when you can have a man??
Cheese = It Melts
Leather = On the right guy it looks kickass
Fargo = NOT THE MOVIE!!!! Fargo gets good concerts most of the time.
The 4th of July = I get a day off!
Dinosaurs = They Died
Canadians = Accents rule, Aye?
Krys Baratto = Sexy, Hot, Italian bass player!!! *whistles*
Rope = Ties easy to bedposts!
Beer = Makes the ugly ones hotter!
14. If you could bang any one of our past Sludgeaholics of the Month, which one would you pick and why?
NATE S AXEL
15. Yes or no, have you ever:
Egged a house = Your moms
Fed a Llama = Tina the fat Lard??
Changed a tire = FUCK NO! Thats why I got a cell phone!
Swallowed an insect = Probably…in my drink or something.
Blown a roadie for a backstage pass = I’LL NEVER TELLLLL
Worn a McDonald’s uniform = Nope, Taco Johns tho when I was in High School.
Ran away from home = For a minute. Then I went back.
Broke a body part = Yep. My ass bone! For you dumbshits, thats my TAILBONE
Fell out of a taxi cab = Never been IN a taxi cab. I’ve fallen off my chair tho.
Seen a UFO = Yeah. Once when I was drunk. And I cracked my head… I saw the pretty lights.
16. The way to my heart is: Sushi and Cream Cheese Wontons. If you’re a musician…. You have an advantage….
17. How do you feel about being our July 2005 Sludgette of the Month?
AWESOME!!! I love the insanity that is SLUDGE. Now I just have to accomplish my goal of waking up beside Jani Bon Neil!!
18. Personal motto: "Dont hate me cuz I’m Beautiful. Hate me cuz your man thinks I am."
Now wasn’t that cute? Well, all except for the Nate part, but to each their own.
Regardless of her questionable tastes, we congratulate Crys anyway on being our July 2005 Sludgette of the Month!