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Sludgette of the Month – September 2003, Lisa Ann



Lisa Ann

This month’s Sludgette traveled quite a distance to hit up our MSX Tour, and also wears her Metal Sludge swag where ever she can. She also posts on the Gossip Board as "Anna the Quene."

Congratulations to Lisa Ann for being our September 2003 Sludgette Of The Month!

Lisa’s Date Sheet

1. Name and age:

Lisa Anna, call me one, call me the other I don’t care, call me BOTH I know I did something bad. I just turned 21 for the 5th time on August 19… so that’d make me 25 now.

2. Height, weight, and measurements:

I stand a whopping 5’4", weight I have no clue, measurements are 38-28-38 according to my dressmaking dummy. I’m no model, I’m just me, and comfy in my skin…I got tits and I have an ass…I’m half Italian, it’s expected!

3. Where are you from?

Small town in NW Ohio called Lima (pronounced like the bean)… if you’re on I-75, you may stop there for gas and leave.

4. Ambitions: To graduate college and get a masters degree in world history and teach at the high school or college level, and to make a name for myself doing costume design with my small cottage business www.designs-of-the-times.com, finish my novel, "Our Lady Anne", about Anne of Cleves, fourth wife of Henry VIII.

5. Turn-ons: Long hair or nice hair, great body, good hygeine, motivation, drug-free, brains, ability to carry on intelligent conversation, guys who like their nipples played with, and tattoos and piercings can also be *quite* yummy!

6. Turn-offs: No ambition, druggies, bad hygiene, bad teeth, guys with bigger boobs than me (and THAT is a task there!), cheapskates, liars, cheaters, fools, stupidity, jealousy, being possessive, patronizing, emotional baggage, guys with kids (I know it sounds horrible, but I am SO not a kid person!).

7. Favorite bands: I love variety…..my all time favorites are Styx, Journey, Kansas, Boston, REO Speedwagon, Foreigner, Lynyrd Skynyrd, 38 Special…then it goes into bands like Dope, SR-71, Slaughter (ya, ya), Quiet Riot, Whitesnake, Winger…basically most hair bands/hard rock stuff…. I also admit to having an unnatural love for disco and international pop music.

8. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?

Since early 2000… I was told about the Penis Chart, and almost peed my pants laughing! Been hooked ever since!

9. I’d like to own: -My friggin Master’s Degree! (working on that!)

10. You wrote to us and said that you survived cancer. What type of cancer did you have and what happened?

I had cervical and uterine cancer. I was diagnosed back in February of 2000 with cervical cancer. Dummy me put off the small procedure to have to done until the end of the school term in April. It ended up spreading to my uterus. I had a small outpatient surgery, and two rounds of chemo, and it was gone. I’ve also always had issues with endometriosis (scar tissue build up in the reproductive area), and that didn’t help matters very much. I had an operation to remove that in November of 2000 because it fused my intestines to my uterus (BIG OUCH!).

In summer 2001 benign uterine tumors were found, and in August I had to go in and have some them removed from my uterus two days before my birthday. While I was at it, I also had my tubes tied as a twisted "gift" to myself, since I did not want children (I lack that maternal instinct), and my body was in no shape to have a healthy pregnancy anyways…so fate kind of worked out for me there.

In June of 2002, I was rushed to the ER with horrendous cramps. Cancerous tumors were found on my right ovary and I had to have emergency surgery and my ovary was removed. I had a small tumor on my uterus back in December, had that zapped with radiation, then a round of chemo, and I’ve luckily been cancer free ever since. I was lucky I caught it early… and can not stress enough the importance of annual exams, especially if you have a family history of cancer like I do! Don’t ever put off follow up exams, either.

Also a word of advice… don’t dye your hair toxic colors before chemo assuming it will fall out…that’s the time when it likes to stay!

11. When did you lose your virginity and how was it?

I was 18 when it happened, and he was 26 … I was training at a local wrestling gym, and there was a wrestling event there, and this AMAZINGLY hot guy with blonde hair was there for the event. After the gym was closed, he decided to teach me a few new moves in the ring. I just felt like it was the right time to "go for it", and I actually enjoyed myself… a lot. It was hard keeping a straight face when I came back a few days for training… no one had a CLUE what happened in that ring :-D

12. You also mentioned to us that you’ve been kicked off a couple of tour buses for not taking your clothes off. Since we’re your friends and we like to punish bands that treat their fans poorly, please bless us with the bands that kicked your ass off their buses.

The first band was Blue Oyster Cult in 1999. Yes.. ICK! I was working as a gopher for the show, and afterwards, they invited me to hang out. Now, I’d loved them since I was a kid, so it was pretty cool. They then told me, if I wanted to hang out, I had to take my shirt off. They told me since I won’t strip, I had to leave. So I did. Dirty old men! *Shudders* That won me the label "Prude from Detroit", which I wear proudly!

The second one was recently…and since I told it on the Ho Board, I see no harm in saying it here. One of the guys from Pretty Boy Floyd told me I had to remove my shirt… or get out and go to Hell. As evidenced by one of the pictures I sent in… you can see what my choice was :-) I had JUST gotten back from North Carolina and decided to go to the MSX show in Battle Creek, coz I love my Sludge like that! I was working on 3 hours of sleep, and I was NOT in the mood to deal with it and was probably a real bitch. He kept telling me to take my shirt off, kept pressing the issue, then got sick of it I guess, and told me to leave. I was told that I was referred to as the "bitch who kept her shirt on" :-) I was just glad Hell happened to be on my way home… I mean, I DID do what I was told, didn’t I? I did leave and go to Hell!

13. Every woman should have: A good imagination, and extra batteries… batteries like to go dead at the worst possible times, you know? It’s stormed so much here, power outages are commonplace… but I forgot to pick up more batteries today, and was stuck in the dark quite a while with this evening’s storm.

14. You mentioned that you were a "groupie" since 16. Ok, then, what bands were you a "groupie" for then. Hey, if you’re gonna mention it, we’re gonna ask about it.

When I was 16, I was invited to see the band James Young Group, headed by JY of Styx. Problem was, it was a 21+ show, and the only way I could get in was if I worked for the band. I ended up selling merchandise. It was a lot of fun being able to meet someone I’d listened to all my life… and in 1996, I was able to meet Styx for the first time. My biggest thrill with meeting bands is that a lot of them I’ve listened to for most of my life, if not all of it. I actually spent quite a bit of time on and off since then working as a production assistant/gopher for various bands.

I didn’t have an actual "groupie" experience per se until I was 18 back in 1997. Ready for this… it was with someone in Slaughter… and I’ll leave it at that! Hey, I’m human, and I’m not afraid to own up to it :-) I didn’t have sex with a "rocker" until 2000… but I had some fun before that…and had a LOT more since :-)

15. What’s so great about Royal families and medieval clothes and stuff?

My great great….great grandma was one of many of King Charles II of England’s dalliances and gave one of his many illegitimate children…. few centuries later, here I am (hence my nickname of "The Quene", which was how they spelled it back then)! What’s fascinating to me is that most of the people I read about and study are my kin, and some of their lives are more exciting and twisted than any fiction…. you can’t make up someone like Henry VIII who had six wives (divorced, beheaded, died…divorced, beheaded, survived), or Juana the Loca of Castille who refused to bury her dead husband…. and of course, Charles II who could give Ron Jeremy a run for his money in the # of women he scored with!

The clothing fascinates me because it is nothing less than art. Wearing it and doing basic tasks in it is a feat of human engineering in itself…ever tried using the toilet while wearing a hooped petticoat and a gown with a 2 ft train? (Wanna try? ;-) ) I got into making it when I decided to go as Anne Boleyn for Halloween in 2002, and made my own dress. I had so much fun making it and wearing it, that I thought "hey, I can make some money doing this!" :-)

16. Ever have sex with a guy wearing medieval clothing?

No…too afraid to mess up the fabric… those clothes are a bitch to clean, and the dry cleaner LOVES to charge as much as they can to clean them… so we take those clothes off first…:-)

17. The way to my heart is: Treat me good and take me as I am…and I’ll do the same in return :-)

18. How do you feel about being our September 2003 Sludgette Of The Year?

"September 2003 Sludgette of the YEAR?" Wow, and I just thought I’d be Sludgette of the Month ;-) It’s a great honor…and a lot of fun doing this interview!! Thanks a million!

(NOTE: I was putting together these questions at like 3 in the morning. I meant Sludgette Of The Month and wrote Sludgette Of The Year. I was tired. At least it’s funny. – bastard boy floyd)

Lisa Ann with Blessed Union Of Soul

19. Personal Motto: "All appetites are free, and God will never damn a man for allowing himself a little pleasure"… Charles II of England (I think it goes for ALL of us!)

"May you have the strength to enjoy your weaknesses"… Florence Edwards

"I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both"… Patricia Shroeder

"It’s the good girls who keep the diaries, the bad ones never have the time".. Tallulah Bankhead

Congratulations to Lisa Ann for being our September 2003 Sludgette Of The Month!

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