The Good, The Bad and The Rest
by Iann Robinson
Hey there true believers, how?s it going? All is well here, just figured I?d get back in the swing of things by unloading on you guys the latest batch of The Good, The Bad and The Rest. I?ve been inundated with a lot of music and it?s taken me awhile to rummage through it and find the stuff I like.. Not to mention the Red Sox slashing the Yankees up and then burying the Cardinals, I was busy watching that. Some good music news, Jonah Jenkins (Traktor 7 Records, Milligram, Only Living Witness) has a new band that just did some recording and it?s fucking brutal. Discharge style punk rock with some Sleep elements in it, really great stuff. I guess we should dive right in, remember, these aren?t full long-form reviews, just quick bits on what I think of the music people have sent me. The Good I love, The Bad I hate and The Rest I don?t care about but you might like.
RWAKE: If You Walk Before You Crawl, You Crawl Before You Die?Rarely do I find a band that blows me away from the opening note, but holy fucking shit this band blew me through a window. Grimy, painful and crushing music with a raw connection to pain that few bands can truly claim. I expect gigantic things from Rwake and I implore you to run out and find their album. (www.rwake.com)
CURSED: One?Ever wonder what it would feel like if you got caught in an automatic laundry folding machine after boiling water was thrown onto your body which had 10,000 paper cuts covering it. Well, that?s what Cursed is in a sonic format. I know I?m late to the game with these guys but I don?t care, I?m glad I found them. Brutal, unforgiving death/rock band. (Deathwish Records)
VALUME NOB: The Most High?Usually this kind of throwback punk rock stuff leaves me cold but Valume Nob do it really well. It?s basic, simple, grimy, mean spirited punk rock and I like it!! It sounds like the fist fight punk should sound like. (www.valumenob.com)
JUMBO?S KILLCRANE: The Slow Decay? Remember the dueling banjo scene in Deliverance? Well take out the banjo and add grimy sludgecore and you basically have Jumbo Killcrane. This is ugly, brutal, slow music, angry to it?s core and violent in it?s execution. Fucking killer stuff. (Crucial Blast)
THE CROWN: Crowned Unholy?It?s funny because while all these other heavy bands are trying to sound epic, or underground, few get down to business the way The Crown do. I know there?s some story behind this album but the end result is fast, brutal, death/thrash metal that doesn?t pussy foot around like so many others?I dig it. (Metal Blade)
AGNOSTIC FRONT: Another Voice?Roger Miret and the boys are back to deliver a one, two punch to the eyeliner wearing, freshly tattooed, nu-punks that are polluting the Earth. 14 songs of hardcore bliss for those of us who miss the real thing.(Nuclear Blast)
PHIL MOORE BROWN: Demo 2004?Think of Lonnie Liston Smith waking up one day and deciding to create a new band with Fishbone, Portishead and Bootsy Collins. Sprinkle in the political punch of Public Enemy and you have this Philly band in a nutshell. It?s hard to find their demo and it?s funked out, electrocentric, jazz fusion political sound but if you can, pick it up.
HOPESFALL: A?Usually this kind of lightweight ?Emo? shit makes me want to cut my eyes out with a plastic spoon but these guys have a really nice, non-pretentious song writing style and I actually enjoyed listening to it. It?s kind of like what if the Police wrote songs for Quicksand. It?s not groundbreaking but it?s a lot of fun. (Trustkill Records)
CATTLE DECAPITATION: HUMANURE?What do I love most about this album, the title? The fact that the artwork is a cow shitting a human being? The fact that they may hate people as much as I do? It?s all that, and it?s that they put together some crushing grindcore. Fucking aces gentlemen!! (Metal Blade)
THE FIGHT: Nothing New Since Rock N? Roll?The one thing that?s new here is how bad this band SUCKS. Fucking Green Day if they couldn?t writes songs, or Rancid with no balls. What happened to chicks fronting bands like the Plasmatics, The Muffs or The Runaways. This shitty pop punk mess makes me want to burn every Hot Topic in the world to the ground. When your number one asset is the hot chick in your band, time to hang it up. (Reposession Records)
YOB: The Illusion Of Motion?You wanna know what it sounds like when Geddy Lee sings for the Obsessed? No, well, neither did I. (Metal Blade)
CATARACT: With Triumph Comes Loss?And with good music comes bad, and this is definitely bad. Bland, boring thrash metal, that?s so generic it seems painful. Maybe these guys got Cataract?s over their talent. (Metal Blade)
AMON AMARTH: Fate Of Horns?Wow, dumb title, dumb record, they?re two for two. Amon was so busy being epic and super metal they forgot to write songs. They should call this album ?Fates Of Filler? (Metal Blade)
BURY YOUR DEAD: Cover Your Tracks?So these guys (stop for laughter) decided to dress in suits (no really, I?m tearing up) and write songs with titles taken from all Tom Cruise movies. My God, WHAT COULD BE FUNNIER? Oh yeah, this record. (Victory Records)
FOUND DEAD HANGING: S/T?This is typical post-hardcore noisy scream stuff, nothing new, nothing exciting, nothing to care about. I swear sometimes I think it?s the same 5 kids just recording under different names. Found Dead Hanging will be ?Found Soon In Used Bin? (Black Market Records)
FROM A SECOND STORY WINDOW: Not One Word Has Been Omitted?I got a couple that have: suck, bad, awful, boring, typical. The production is too clean for what they?re going for and it just falls under paint by numbers metal. (Black Market Records)
PSYOPUS: Ideas Of Reference?Well, these guys are definitely brutal and evil sounding but really, who fucking cares. The progress of this album is so stale and so easy to predict that you?d be more intrigued by a game of Candy Land. Maybe if these guys stopped screaming and wrote a fucking song I?d care, but no, they?re too evil for that. (Black Market Records)
IMPERIAL CRYSTALLINE ENTOMBMENT: Apocalyptic End In White?Get it!! Do you get it!! The first letter in each word of their name spells out ICE..yep, ICE. If these guys had spent as much time writing songs as they did trying to figure out this insipid name they might be ok. Instead they?re just lame black metal, talk about leaving you cold. I can only hope it?s a joke I?m not in on. (Crash Music)
ANNIHILATOR: All For You?Please, please don?t say that this overly produced, power metal hunk of shit is for me, God what did I do to deserve this? (AFM Records)
PHOBIA: Get Up And Kill?Or sit down and shut up. That?s a better idea for this really bad, boring Death Metal hack outfit. (Deep Six Records)
BURN YOUR BRIDGES: S/T?This punk band in the style of Total Chaos and The Casualties isn?t awful, they just aren?t great. The songs are cool, even if the production is lame. If you?re into this kind of thing you might really dig this. (Deep Six Records)
THE RED CHORD: Fused Together In Revolving Doors?A lot of people love these guys and I can see why. They add their own depth to the post-hardcore noise world and they can actually craft a song. The problem is they seem to craft one long song and it gets old. A good record but I wouldn?t buy it. (Robotic Empire)
STRUNG OUT: Exile In Oblivion?These guys have been kicking around for awhile and they do a great job of adding a metal element to catchy punk rock ala Pennywise. The singer?s voice is awesome and the tunes are really catchy. I just personally don?t care about this type of music, but those who do, will love this.(Fat Wreck Chords)
THE HIDDEN HAND: Mother, Teacher, Destroyer?I know, I know, Wino is in this band, how could it not be great? I wish I knew, I wanted to worship this record so badly but it just didn?t hit me. It?s a terrific doom metal album, Wino sounds great, the songs are kick ass but for some reason, it didn?t move me. (Southern Lord)
ED GEIN: It?s A Shame? It is, it?s a real shame I didn?t like this album more. I give it full props for being named after Gein and it?s a fine blast of noisecore insanity, just nothing I?d jump up and down about. (Hanging Hex)
IMPLOUS: Hellucinate?These guys are good thrashy death metal, nothing special but a solid effort. Worst thing about it is the dumb album title. (Metal Blade)
PARIA: Misanthropes?Well done heavy, noisy grindcore. Just nothing special. (Metal Blade Records)
So there it is, my does, don?t and do what you likes for this month. If I spelled something wrong or you catch typos, get off my back, it?s 3am right now and I?m exhausted. If you?re looking for some movies to check out, steer clear of ?SAW?, that movie sucked and made no sense. The Grudge is good, so is the movie Sideways. Well, I guess that?s it, until next time, see you all around.
"Thirsty and Miserable" is Iann Robinson’s very own column here at Metal Sludge! Whenever he feels like it, Iann will write about whatever it is that’s on his mind. Much like us, Iann is never one to mince words or hide his feelings, so he’s a welcome addition to our Sludge Family!
To check out Iann’s band, you can visit www.punyhuman.com.