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Random Thoughts On VH-1′s The Rock Show! 3/26/01

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON THE ROCK SHOW FOR MARCH 23rd

I’m going to do a Random Thoughts On The Rock Show for March 23rd. I taped the show and now I’m going to throw back a few beers, watch it back and see what shit I can come up with.

Scott says he has a slamming show for us tonight, but I can’t help but notice how fit and healthy Scott looks. Not that he usually doesn’t, but tonight he really reminds me of a young Brad Pitt. He looks so full of life it’s really amazing. I’m not just saying that because he has our shirt on, which can be purchased right here for a moderate sum of money, I’m saying that because I truly mean it!

Scott plugs VH-1′s "Top 40 Hair Bands Of All Time" on Saturday, March 31st. I wonder how hard it was for Scott to get that line out without laughing?

This week’s poll question is "Which one of these artists had the biggest hair in the 80s." It ain’t gonna be Scott, that’s for sure. The choices are:
Nikki Sixx
Paul Stanley
Dee Snider
Joe Elliot
Slash

Joe Elliot? How did he get on the list? Where’s CC DeVille?

I think a good poll question would be, "Which hairband had the best studio musicians play their shit?"
A. Warrant
B. Trixter
C. Cinderella

Last week’s poll question was "Which one of these rockers would you like to see rise from the dead."
My pick was Mick Mars, but he wasn’t an option. The choices were:
Janis Joplin
Jimi Hendrix
Kurt Cobain
John Bonham
Wendy O Williams

Bonham won by 33%. Wendy O Williams only had 4%, so I guess nobody cares that she’s dead.

A video for "Whole Lotta Love" is first. I’m not nearly drunk enough to handle watching this video. It’s the typical 60s video with all sorts of shit over top each other.

Scott takes us to the "Rock Pit" for all the news. He says that Black Sabbath was working on a new album with Rick Rubin in England, but Ozzy got foot and mouth disease or some shit so they had to stop. Something like that. I’m not really paying attention.

Wrestling and Metal collide on ECW’s Anarchy Rocks CD. Too bad ECW doesn’t exist. The ECW CD has Static X, Linkin Park, Powerman 5000, Disturbed, Cold, and Jesse James Dupree. Hmmm, one of those names doesn’t belong, I wonder who it is.

Queensryche Michael’s Wilton is working on a solo album. Rumor has it that Alice In Chains’ Mike Star and Sean Kinney might be the rhythm section. Another rumor has it that about 10 people actually care about this.

Alice Cooper’s empire is expanding, just like his age. Cooperstown #2 is opening in Denver this Spring. Care.

Scott goes, "There has been a lot happening in the Motley Crue camp lately. In fact, they kicked us off their Summer tour because they are cheap bastards." Ok, he didn’t exactly say that, but I’m sure he wanted to. Then Scott goes, "Not to be all Rona Barrett gossip types here at the Rock Show, but this is the news we have so we have to report it."

He says Nikki & Donna have broken up, which we all know.

Scott says there are rumors that Mick is out of the band due to health problems, but Motley says that isn’t so. Remember, this is the same band that at one time said Nikki never OD’s back in 1988 either. Go check our Famous Last Words section for some of Motley’s more hilarious quotes.

Vince Neil is working on getting even fatter and out of shape.

And finally, sometime drummer Samantha Maloney is done sucking Nikki off and now working on a solo album.

Then they show the Same Ol Situation video.

Look, it’s Tommy Lee when he was white and spoke English!

Look, it’s Vince Neil when he weighed under 200 pounds!

Look, it’s Mick Mars when he only looked 45 years old!

Scott comes back and says that if you are a fan of the rock show, you know what it means when he’s holding that piece of paper. It’s time to plug Metal Sludge?

Nope, it’s request time.

Bob D from New York says, "I just wanted to request the video Hunger Strike by Temple Of The Donkey. I have been trying to get my eyes on it for years to no prevail. So please play it. I watch the show every week hoping that it will be played."

Scott goes, "Well Bob, even though you said prevail instead of avail, it would be "Trying to get my eyes on it for years to no avail." Maybe that’s why you people don’t write, are you afraid I’ll make fun of you or something?"

Bastard Boy Floyd will be happy to know that Scott has to deal with dumb emails as well.

Now they play Hunger Strike.

I remember when Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder both had careers.

I don’t really think Eddie Vedder is going hungry, if you ask me.

I hated this song back in 90 and I don’t like it now. Bob D from New York, your choice sucked. Thanks for reminding me this song existed.

I would like to make a request for next week’s show. I would like to see the video for Van Halen’s "Unchained." The live version. Lets make that happen Scott. In fact, you can read this part on the air next week:

"Hi Scott, I’m a big fan of the Rock Show and I think you are probably one of the greatest pure musicians the world has ever known. You have really great fashion sense too! I just wanted to request Van Halen’s "Unchained" video. I have been trying to get my eyes on it for years to no AVAIL. So please play it. I watch the show every week hoping it will be played. Thanks for making it happen.

Ozzy Stillbourne"

There you go Scott, print that out and read it next week or you’re getting an FU Award.

Thanks in advance.

Scott now talks about Guns N Roses. You know, I think if Guns N Roses hangs in there, they could be the next Buckcherry!

Scott talks about Robert Williams painting "Appetite For Destruction" and how it ended up as GNR’s cover, or some shit like that. They then show an interview from 1988 of Slash and Duff. Neither one of them seem to have any idea where they are. Duff stumbles to get out a sentence that makes little sense. Slash basically still seems the same.

The "Sweet Child O Mine" video is next.

I feel like Beavis & Butthead watching these videos.

USELESS FACT: Nigel Dick went from directing this video to Britney Spears.

Hey, it’s Steven Adler on the drums. I remember when Steven Adler could actually talk and put together a rational thought.

After that video, Scott says that Sammy Hagar is "still out there doing it for you man!"

Sammy obviously made a deal with the devil to be in his 50s and have more hair than DLR, Bret, and Jani combined.

Holy shit, it’s the "I Can’t Drive 55" video. I haven’t seen this since like 84.

Nice fucking jumpsuit! He looks like a gay parachuter.

I remember when videos use to have stories behind them.

USELESS FACT: The judge in this video is John Kalodner who does a horrible job of lip syncing his lines.

I haven’t seen lamer acting by a band since Journey’s video for "Separate Ways. Nothing is gayer than guys who try to rock out without their instruments. Nice fucking haircuts, by the way. Did they actually look in the mirror and go, "Yeah man, we look cool. We’re ready to rock!"

After that, Scott talks about AC/DC and says that "Back In Black" sold 19 million copies. Scott says that’s mind boggling. Maybe so, but it’s not 22 million like Sebitchian Bach!!

AC/DC is at #9 for top artists of all time.

Scott says, "This isn’t some bullshit rap metal crap, this is AC/DC!"

Now they play AC/DC’s "Safe In New York City."

I actually dig the riff, that’s cool, but they repeat "I feel save in New York City" about 375 times. Look, I get the fucking point, you feel safe in New York City. Great, wonderful.

I think a guy with no arms could still probably pull off the drum parts on this song.

From AC/DC to Kiss!

Scott says that recently there have been a lot of rumors circulating about Peter’s departure. Gene was on the WNEW and talked to Eddie Trunk and "Gene gave him the lowdown of what’s going on with Kiss and the drummer situation. And what Gene told Ed was that people shouldn’t be mad at him and Paul and that music is a business and that this had nothing to do with him and Paul, that it was their lawyers that made this decision. I have to say it from me, I know I’m suppose to be objective about this, but it’s very hard to be objective when you’ve got this (shows off his tattoo on his leg) on your leg. I’m quite a Kiss fan, as most of you probably know. To hear something like that from your favorite band that the lawyers are making the decisions on what’s going on in that band… that’s such a load of crap. Everybody knows that Gene & Paul make the decisions in Kiss, and it very well could have been the decision that Peter was in the band, or should be in the band, and I think every Kiss fan agrees with me on that. You know, whatever, hate me if you will be that’s the way I truly believe. Lawyers don’t run things, the band runs things and if it comes down to money, how much money do you need? But anyway, that’s just one fan’s opinion by the way. So they are not ruling out the idea of Peter maybe coming back for this "grand finale" show that they are planning for the states, which as far as I’m concerned it’s already happened because Kiss without Peter is not the real Kiss. And that’s nothing against Eric."

I couldn’t have said it better. Thank you Scott.

Scott says the next song is from 1975 "Dressed To Kill, "which I believe the lawyers came up with the title for that, I think."

It’s "Rock N Roll All Nite" from the Detroit Rock City premiere. You remember that movie, it was out for about 5 minutes in the theaters.

Gene looks fat. Paul’s wig looks flat, and Ace looks the same.

This is one of the simplest songs to play, but they always manage to fuck it up somehow.

After that video, Scott tells us a little bit about Dust For Life. I wonder if Scott even gives a shit about half this stuff? They show a brief clip of an interview with Dust For Life which is about as exciting as a bowl of fruit. What type of creative jackass came up with the name Dust For Life? That’s like naming your band Envelopes For Death. What the fuck is Dust For Life? Idiots. These guys couldn’t have less of an image. They make 3 Doors Down’s image look like fucking Poison. These guys are on the same label as Creed and American Pearl, which probably explains things.

Scott, please tell me that you really don’t dig that band.

Before they end the show, Scott just wants to remind us to check out Top 40 Hair Bands of All Time. He says that even if you don’t like that type of music to check in anyway because it’ll probably be funny. I have to agree.

And that’s it.

I’m out like the hair on Scott’s head,

OZZY STILLBOURNE

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