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3-Wind with Mike Fasano, 7/28/04

 

3-WIND WITH…


Mike Fasano

Mike Fasano is a man who needs no introduction to Sludgeaholics. He’s a legend to some.

We first did 20 Questions with Mike on August 14, 2001.
Then we did his Rewind last year on May 9, 2003, which ended up being the 2003 Rewind Of The Year!
Now it’s time for his 3-Wind, and being that it’s the end of July and this is the first 3-Wind we’ve done for 2004, Mike’s got a good chance of having the 3-Wind Of The Year too!

This 3-Wind is a good example of how to do an interview with us. Plenty of effort, humor, Sludge, and Warrant stories! Can’t go wrong with that equation! He totally gets it. Enjoy him!

1. What are you up to?
As of late I’ve been working on a ton of records, it’s been nonstop for me the past few months. Working on my new band the Gloryhole U.K. It’s a process, just writing and recording so that we can pick and choose and see what reaction we get from labels and hopefully make a record with as much hype as the Brides, but actually live up to it, you know the hype. Plus, all my handiwork on records such as Weezer, Judas Priest, Green Day, Finch, Queens of the Stone Age, and my pal and x-room mate Matt Sorum’s band Velvet Revolver.

I’ve also been playing a bit of golf in celebrity amateur tournaments, such as the Price Oil Celebrity in Destin, FL hosted by my friends in a country band called Trick Pony, as well as the Alice Cooper MTX Celebrity Amateur in Phoenix, AZ www.alicegolf.com. These tournaments are cool because they’re all for charities and they’re helping people out. If my crappy golf game and me being a "formerly of" will help me lend a hand, it’s great. I get to play golf with other "formerly of" musicians, actors, and sports stars, and if there’s a band playing, I’ll go up and jam a couple tunes. It’s a good time.

Also, the TOTALPOSER line of merchandise takes a bit of my time as well. That is going really well, and you punters can check it out at http://www.merchdirect.net/x/c/home.php?csid=109. As far as playing out live, there’s always the bi-anual Roxie 77 & the $upafacial$ gig coming up soon, and I’ve been playing covers with Robbie Crane, John Corabi, Keri Kelli, and Jizzy Pearl. Basically, it’s the same old cover band you’ve come to know and love (via the Angel City Outlaws, Rock City, Back in Black, Suki Jones, Star Fuckers Etc.) You know all the same characters you see jamming all the same tunes at the Cat Club on a Thursday night when you’re out visiting in Los Angeles!) with these guys, but a different drummer! Me!! When I play in the band we call it My Dixie Wrecked so keep checkin’ your local watering hole for flyers up on the bathroom walls. We just might make it to your neck of the woods!

(Prervious drummers that have rocked this act have been Slim Jim, The Bloltz, Steven Adler, Peter Criss — oops, sorry, I meant Eric Singer — and the latest to occupy the drum throne before me, Metal Sludge favorite Brent Fitz.) I still can’t belive the promotors/ bar owners pay all this money when these same guys come through town with a different drummer. Thankfully it’s kept me out there playing drums, and for Christ’s sake, Crane and Kelli bought houses from doing this!! The great thing about that is playing in "this" cover band as a "formerly of," I’m making more money than I ever made in Warrant! And it’s fun. We have a laugh, get loaded, talk shit, share war stories and rock.

Oh yeah, how could I forget this? When I’m not doing all that other stuff, I’m sitting by the phone twiddling my thumbs waiting for Warrant to call! You know what they say, the third time’s the charm!

2. How did Glory Hole U.K. come about and what’s the story behind the song "Misery" that appears on our Metal Sludge CD, which can be purchased in our Sludgendise Store!
For the record, first of all it’s Gloryhole (all one word) U.K. I’ve known Keith Nelson of Buckcherry fame for years when he was just your local Guitar Center guy working in Hollywood as a day gig while he did the music stuff at night. We actually played golf a bunch of times with our mutual friend McBob, who is Duff’s bass tech, and whom Keith met when he and Joshua Todd were doing the first incarnation of the The Velevet Revolver — I think they were calling it Guns N’ Cherry. (Ok, that’s what I was calling it!) I would always joke with Keith about "getting the band back together" He never really took me seriously though.

Then we were working on the new Tiger Army record (which I might add drops in mid-July check them out at www.tigerarmy.com ) and I was asked to play drums on the record due to Tiger Army drummer Fred Hell’s not fully being recovered after an unfortunate home invasion robbery where Fred was shot in the head and back 5 times. Amazingly he survived, but was not fully up to par for the recording. Due to Fred’s health issues I will be heading out on the Vans Warped Tour playing drums this leg of the tour with Tiger Army supporting bands such as New Found Glory, Bad Religon, The Vandals and a tons of other groups on the bill as well. I think Keith saw me get thrown into a situation playing on their record and more of my constant harassment about playing in a band with him that he finally fell for my charm. Hanging in the studio for all of 2 weeks, 12 to 14 hours a day on the Tiger Army session, I think Keith and I found out what mutually sick, filthy individuals we were. So we proceed to start working on music and the rest is what it is!

Then pal Billy Morris told me he was doing a song for a Metal Sludge comp record, which is
what you call "That’s What I Call Sludge 1." He thought that Gloryhole U.K. would be a great addition to the lineup of bands doing it, and he mentioned to me that Lit, Sum 41, Tuff, 40 ft. Ringo (Hey what the fuck is a 40 ft. Ringo anyways??? Personally I liked it better when they were calling the band Trixter) and Metal Skool (hey dudes in Metal Skool I still think it’s pretty fucked what that greedy dude from Roxanne who runs all that metal shop/boogie nights cover band circut stuff did to you guys forcing you have to change your name and venue totally gay!, hey Russ when are we gonna play golf again?) were going to be on it. It sounded like it would be a great comp record to be on, and thought it would be a great way to introduce the band by way of my people, the Sludgeaholics, and my unofficial site Metal Sludge, to the world. It’s for all the Sludgeaholics to enjoy! Check out http://gloryholeunitedkingdom.com/

As for the song "Misery" is a classic boy-meets-girl, girl-rocks-his-world-one-way, but-gets-inside-his-head-and-fucks-him-over-another-way, and then he’s in misery. Yet he can’t get rid of her. Hey, It’s the story of my life! Feel the pain and enjoy!

3. When exactly were you contacted about rejoining Warrant, and when they called you on St. Patrick’s Day to fire you, did you see that coming at all? Did you hear any rumors about Steven rejoining the band?
Speaking of St. Patty’s Day this is from the news section of totalposer.com March 17, 2004


I’ve got a little St. Patrick’s Day Limerick for you the Poser Posse from Mike Fasano.

Got a conference call from the senior partners today,
Thought they were wishing me a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
But to my dismay,
The Sack is out today,
I know this must sound gay,
Steven Sweet is here to stay.
Check out my new band, the Gloryhole U.K.
Formerly the 7th and 9th drummer of Warrant,
Mike


Lineup #1 for Warrant in 2004

In detail this is my recollection of the events that had transpired I got a call from the senior
partners of Warrant, Dixon and Turner, in January ’04 asking me if I wanted my old job back. I was taken back for a minute — I never thought that I would ever play with Warrant again, let alone play with Warrant with Jani Lane not being in the band. It showed a lot of class on the part of senior partners in the Warrant camp, Jerry and Erik, by calling me and asking me if I wanted to do it. It all happend so fast, they said they were gonna see a few singers and could I get together in a few days because they wanted to fly Jamie St. James in to L.A. this weekend for an audition. Joey Allen was gonna fill in on guitar because they hadn’t heard back from Billy Morris as of yet. Basically I said "Ok, let’s do and see whats happens."

We never ended up seeing any other singers, and Billy had made his descision to stay in Lane’s camp. Joey said he’d give it a go on guitar, and we proceeded to get the new Warrant act together to do a show in Daytona Beach for Biker Week. Then, 3 months, 4 days, 6 hours, 9 minutes, 24 seconds later (am I counting out loud again?) I was in the studio with Green Day and I got yet another infamous conference call "voice message" from Erik and Jerry asking if I was available for a meeting in Warrant guru, genius, ex-manager, deal maker, Metal Sludge favorite, and current booking agent Obi Steinman’s office (sorry Obi, not really sure what your official title is with this phase of Warrant — it’s no disrespect, homie!) the next day around 2:00. It sounded a bit fishy to me. The whole time I was in Warrant, I never, ever got a call to go to a meeting with them, let alone a meeting in Obi’s office.

So I proceeded to call them back, both on cells and at their home numbers. I even called Obi, who didn’t take my call or call me back at all. I started to have that sick feeling inside, kind of like when your girlfriend doesn’t pick up her phone when she’s supposed to, or you call her cellphone and hear a dude in the background and she says it’s a girlfriend? It was just weird. I had that Grim Reaper feeling, the vibe was like when Jani had previously started mentioning replacing me on the solo tour. It just wasn’t good. I knew something was up.

2 or 3 hours later, I got the call. It was Erik and Jerry, sounding really weird. Seeing if I could still make this meeting. I asked them what was up. They said "Nothing. Can you make the meeting tomorrow?" I said that I was in the studio with Green Day tomorrow and didn’t know if I could take the time off. Basically, then I said "Come on guys, what’s up?" They said "Nothing. Can you make the meeting?" It was like a cat-and-mouse game. I said "Wow, I guess you guys are going to finally cut me in! I’m going to be a senior partner! Do I need to get my lawyer to come with me and look over the band/senior partner contract for Warrant?" (Ha ha ha!) Silence ensued.

Then they said "Well, we really hate to do this, but Steven has had a change of heart." I excitedly said "What, is he going to be on that dating show that Bobbie Brown was on? ‘Change of Heart/or Blind Date?’ When?" They said "No." Once again, silence ensued. Then they said "He wants back in the band." They continued to tell me a few months ago be for they asked me that they asked Steven, but he didn’t want to do it then, and then they said "We really wish he hadn’t pussed out and made his mind up when we asked him the first time." Now, from what I gather, with Joey Allen having such a great time being back, Joey had mentioned to me when I had asked him when I was in if he had seen Steven or talked to him and how he was doing. He said he’d been talking to Steven again and had dinner with him, telling him it was his second chance to get back in if he really wanted to. I think he realized that Joey made it seem pretty cool without Lane being in it, and Steven changed his mind. Hey, what am I supposed to say to that?

So I said "You guys have to do what’s best for you and the band." Of course my feelings were hurt, but the reality is that you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. Being in Warrant is like a dysfunctional family. They were really sorry for having to do this again, and then they proceeded to ask that if Steven for some reason couldn’t do a gig, could they call me? At that moment I thought it would be better that if ever they were to call me, it would be for a round of golf instead.

4. How long do you think it’ll be before Jani rejoins Warrant, and then from there, how long before they break up again since Joey and Steven can’t stand Jani?
That’s a tough one to calculate/ I’d say 9 months maybe, or definitely around the new year. Or whenever promoters and fans realize how NOT happining it is with Jaime St. James and it affects the pockets of the senior partners in the Warrant camp. Fuck, does it really even matter anymore who’s in Warrant Tap? Hey maybe the Warrant Camp are punishing Jani (for the past 20 years of hell he put them through and I don’t blame them a bit for wanting to move on as a group. I’ve heard and lived the Lane horror stories) by trying to not let him use the Warrant name in any mention in advertisements for his solo shows, not even as a "formerly of." So, eventually it will most likely bankrupt him back into the band. They will get over it though, after all, money is to root of all evil, and they will all live happily ever after! That is the genius of the Warrant Camp, Obi and booking agent John Domagall, (who at one time were working together with Warrant AND with Jani’s solo effort http://www.armentertainment.com/rock.html — that’s genius, great businessmen!!) When Warrant reunites, they will replace the Saint’s vocals on whatever record they’ve recorded, and then the lineup will proceed to fall apart.

How long will Joey and Steven do it? Who really knows. Obviously in previous interviews, they’ve made statements (insert them here, Metal Sludge! Ok, we will – http://www.metal-sludge.com/20QuestionsStevenSweet.htm, http://www.metal-sludge.com/RewindJoey.htm) that they will never play with Warrant again. I think it’s lame with the Saint. It’s cool with Joey and it’s great that Steven wants to play in Warrant again, but there have been so many drummers, who really cares who’s drumming in Warrant now? I’m glad Steven is happy being in the band though. Maybe he can paint a portrait of my dog sometime. By the way, Jaime St. James is the Saint in Black and Blue – but Jaime St. James is the "Ain’t" in Warrant. And with no disrepect to my bro’s in Warrant after all they are just trying to "keep the dream alive", but I feel Warrant without Jani Lane is just "Arrant" (aren’t.)

5. Who’s the most famous celebrity listed in your cell phone?
Hmm. Let me scroll through my phone. How about Phil Spector? But for some reason, he’s not returning my calls anymore! I wonder why.

While I’m on the topic of Phil, I have a great story for you. I was working on a Celine Dion session while back that he was producing and Sorum was playing drums on — it was crazy. He had his booze, gun, and pills there. We ordered Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles after working all night in the studio. He came in and ate some chicken with us, and then started choking on a bone. Everyone was so out of it from being up all night long, but I realized something was wrong and he was choking. I quickly reached around to give him the Heimlich manuever, and when I did that, I could feel his gun in the waistband of his pants pushing up against me! He proceeded to cough the bone out and turned, then reached for his gun! Then he said to me "Aaah! I was gonna shoot you. But you saved my life." So dude, what up? I save your life, and you won’t call me? I guess I can’t save you from this situation you’re in now, bro.

6. Was there any talk in Warrant about changing Jaime St. James name to Jani St. James?
No. But don’t think that the Warrant Camp didn’t think by hiring Jaime that at midnight in some club that Warrant plays in the Midwest somewhere, that Jaime/Jani, drunk blonde fat guy vs. drunk blonde fat guy, that the drunk fucks in the club wouldn’t know the difference. But I guess they couldn’t fool the good people of Annie’s in Ohio a couple of weeks ago. I heard something like 700 people left the packed club after the third song! The "Ain’t" really stunk up the joint! (Metal-Sludge can insert the thread.)
Ok, here you go: http://www.metal-sludge.com/NewsRumorsGossip7-24-04.htm.


7. Why are you called "The Dean Martin Of Rock?"
Briefly, when I joined Warrant, Lane used to call me that. I have since denounced that on my website after being replaced in Warrant the first time. Basically, I used to get an aftershow outfit on, with cocktail in hand – it consisted of a clean dry shirt, and a black suede smoking jacket. I would put a little bit of compact on and check my eyeliner, fix my hair a little. That evolved into me also sporting a towel as an ascot. As for Lane, he didn’t give a fuck. He’s the real thing. He’d stroll around in somebody else’s clean shirt and some old raggedy sweat pants and be a rock star. He didn’t need to put an outfit on. I did.

The Sushi Twins

8. In your Rewind, you said the last time you had talked to Jani at that time was, "It was at what was to be my last show with Warrant in Struthers, Ohio, at the Cellar, backstage. Jani had introduced me to the new keyboard player that Warrant is going to use on the road for the summer tour. He was there to check out the show and see what’s up. I also met Jani’s personal trainer, who was there." Jani had a personal trainer? What exactly did Jani’s personal trainer look like, because obviously the person wasn’t much help.
First off, whatever the new keyboard player’s name is Shane?, Steve? Some kiss-ass beggar and hanger-onner dude from Ohio. No vibe. Thank God Lane replaced me so I didn’t have to tour with him. But at least he got his "Down Boys" tattoo on his arm during the 2-month span he was with the band before he was fired. Nice tat, dude! More on Warrant tats later.

As for the trainer, it was the charming alcoholic Lane telling people whatever they wanted to hear. That’s what alcoholics do! So of course Lane’s physical appearance didn’t change because of this "trainer," as he was again just telling people what they wanted to hear.

9. How do you feel winning Best Rewind in our 2003 Sludgeaholic Choice Awards?
What a treat! To quote one of my favorite chicks in rock Esther, "You love me! You really love me!" (For those of you who aren’t privy to this, Madonna has changed her moniker to Esther.) Like I said in the past, Metal Sludge is my unofficial website, and my people, the Sludgeaholics. I thank you all! Are you guys sending me a trophy to put on my mantle?

10. Yes or no, has Mike Fasano ever:
Shared a cheesecake with Bobby Blotzer = No. But the closest thing to cheesecake was when we (Warrant and Ratt) were on tour a few years back in North Dakota – we shared a "toofless" groupie… the chicks are pretty grim up in those parts of the country, and she was like the icing on the top of a 3-layer cheescake. Mmm!
Known a made man = We don’t talk about that. Next…
Seen somebody mistake Joey Allen for Art from Everclear = No, but I like where you guys are going with that though. I think Art has more of that dope lisp when he speaks.
Thrown up on a bar = On a bar, no. In a bar, yes. When I was playing with Jani Lane and the Underdogs circa 1999, pre-Warrant, we played a Pink E’s bar in Tuscon. We had Jaegermeister on the rider. I proceeded to drink a ton of it during the show, and after the show came the vodka Jello shots. Then came a dude that always hangs around bands and offered me a HUGE line of coke! (You know cocaine, blow, Peruvian maching powder, the nose candy– yeah, that’s right I said it, and I did it.) Moments later, I turned Jaegermeister-bottle green and puked in the bar. Robbie Crane and Lane had to carry me out of the bar and lay me down in the rental van for the count. More on this story? Just ask Robbie. He knows more, as I passed the fuck out!
Locked yourself in a hotel room doing blow all weekend = Yep. Me and eight ball ( Kids, it’s a drug term for the amount of cocaine… oh yeah, don’t try this at home and don’t do drugs! Drugs are bad!) and some hot filthy groupie chick. I think her name was Sally… Suzie… Betty… whatever, maybe she was from Denver, Detoit, or Denmark somewhere. You get the picture. In town on some electronics software, porno, or upper management convention? In "Sin City" I had a suite in one of the towers of the New York New Hork Hotel and Casino. You know, you can get the 24-hour porno channel for $14.99 verses $7.99 a flick! Remember kids, as the ad says "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" Viva Las Vegas!!!!
Broke a snare during the first song of a show = Yes. We (Warrant) were on the Glam Slam Metal Jam tour playing Marcus Amphitheater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at Summerfest – about 17,000 people. One of the biggest shows we had on that tour, and so during the first song I blew the bottom head of my snare out, and was screaming at my tech Cubby. I didn’t know where my backup snare was. And me, like the dumbass that I was, it was to the left of my hi-hat on the riser, where I have had it and -always- had it for years. Sorry for screaming at you, Mister!
Met Paris Hilton = No. But my buddy Dave Brownsound’s singer Deryck from the Sums (Sum-41) was squirting on her/in her for a while! But dude you fucked up you should have got her pregnant you would of been totally been hooked up! And could of changed or did the hyphen thing to your name Deryck Whibley-Hilton. Is it just me or how NOT hot is Nicole Ritchie? Aren’t they starring in that new movie White Chicks?
Filed for unemployment = When you’re playing in Warrant and obviously not a senior partner, you are an independent contractor, not an employee. They’ve got all that shit worked out, so why bother?
Wanted to play in Metal Skool = I did play with Metal Skool, but they were calling it Warrant at the time.
Gone bungee jumping = Why bungee jump, when I can get yo-yo’d around in and out of Warrant?

11. Thoughts on Metallica’s drum sound for "St. Anger?"
I’m really surprised that producer Bob Rock went for such crappy drum sounds. I really love all the other records that he has done, and even the other Metallica records — and you all now by now that "Metallisuck" really isn’t my cup of tea! But the drum sounds and over 60 drum edits on the song "Enter Sandman" make Lars sound like and amazing drummer! Maybe at the time of the recording of St."Shit Sandwich," Bob Rock was too concerned at the time about playing bass on the record before they got Trujillio from Ozzy’s band. Or maybe the band is trying too hard to be cool. Well, FYI – they’re not cool and never were, but at least Lars is still one of the richest drummers out there. Do you really think he gives a fuck? No. With all the cash that band has made since they sold out, crappy drum sounds, crappy drummer, crappy band = Jaime St. Anger!

Hey, but what do I know about drum sounds? After all, I played drums in Warrant, I tune drums for cash, and I still rent a guest house in Burbank. Lars and the boys must be doing something right. But at least whenever this run for Metallica is finally over, be it 5-10 years or whatever, we’ll still have System of a Down to look forward to filling the void.

12. Why Glory Hole U.K, when in fact none of you are from the U.K.?
Remember kids, it’s Gloryhole (all one word) U.K. In my first email about >the band to Metal Sludge, I had mentioned in the bio that I originally sent to Sludge for the CD that our first bass player who played on the track Misery "Gnat" Miles Luicien-Jones is from Cardiff, Wales (close enough!) He was from British black metal bands in the genre of Burzem, and another called Dark Throne, and one called Mayhem, but he wasn’t really into the black metal scene anymore. So Miles briefly did a stint of time with us the Gloryhole U.K. but decided he really wasn’t into what we were doing either so he’s recently relocated to somewhere in Ohio. I believe it’s the on the east side (72nd and St. Clair) and is playing with a band called Hawkwind.

So we recruited Nigel "Niggie" Sicks from an English black metal band back in the day called Evil and Darkness not at all to be confused with "the Darkness". So let’s set the record straight. Niggie is a Scouser from Liverpool in the U.K. Since rock isn’t really happening in the States, we thought we’d adopt Nigel’s home turf from across the pond. We’re Gloryhole from the U.K., you must be the…you know the rest. Keith and I also thought at least one guy in the band would have to have an uncircumcised cock, so there you go.

13. Please go take a look at our famous Exposed section and tell us who are by far the Top 3 most ridiculous Exposed photos in your opinion and why?
Sebastian Bach of Kydd Wycked. I can’t believe that Sebitichin copped my pal Billy Morris’s band name Kid Wicked (or was it the other way around? Billy!?????………)
Other funny ones – DJ Ashba. Where’s he spinning discs at these days? Anthony Focx, and my pal Glenn Sobol, his shit’s pretty funny too. And then, Keri Kelli circa Big Bang Babies. Pretty Boy Floyd is pretty funny also. Avril Lavigne (now, she’s truely a totalposer.) STINKIN’ Park too. Now here’s a band that slid under the radar — Razzle/Lit. I met Jeremy Popoff back stage at a David Lee Roth concert last summer in L.A. We enjoyed a cocktail together, and he was really cool. I back the Lit, and when I was in Warrant we covered one of their songs. Butch Walker is pretty funny as well when he was in Southgang too.

Some photos you don’t have? Matt Sorum has some pretty funny photos out there. He has a DW drum ad/poster from back a few years back circa the Neurotic Outsiders era. I used to call them the "Pathetic Old Timers." He’s wearing a gold lame’ vest. Fuckin’ hilarious! It’s so rad. You’ve got to get it.

14. How did that one Warrant show go that you played with Jamie St. James? Thoughts?
First off, I thought the first show was really good. Definitely not great, I personally have had better first shows. The reality is that I think the Warrant camp jumped the gun hiring Jaime St. James with out even checking out any other singers. I think the Saint is a really great singer for his band Black and Blue and I do have to mention that he really sounded good vocally on one of the new songs Jerry and I had had recorded for the new Warrant material "Good Times," but really not good singing and fronting the Warrant/Jani stuff.

Hey don’t get me wrong — I wouldn’t want to have to be the guy replacing Lane, personally. Actually, having Steven come back to Warrant was kind of a blessing in disguise for me because it just felt really weird not having Lane up there when I did do that show in Florida. As kooky and wacky as Jani is with his cigarette schtick and saying he doesn’t want to play certain songs, that’s his show business and that’s Lane. That’s old school vaudeville showbiz, and people love that shit! The Saint just didn’t have the stage presence Lane had, it just wasn’t really good without Jani doing his thing up there.

15. When Warrant toured with Poison, were you ever cockblocked by a member of Poison?
When we toured with Poison, we weren’t allowed to participate in any of the normal backstage festivities that bands would normally get to enjoy on any regular tour. Due to the bad blood between Warrant and Poison (pre-me, really between Jani and Bret Michaels) technically no, I personally was never cockblocked. But being in Warrant on that tour, we were all not allowed around the venue to be cockblocked even though I did manage to creep around and hang out quite a bit on the Glam Slam tour and had a great time! I’m backin’ the Poison camp, but that’s just how they run their show.

16. If you could give Jani Lane any advice, what would it be?
Dude, you’re the real deal Holyfield. One of the most talented guys i know. Keep up being who you are — at least you are being you. Your are the last of a dying breed, good luck. I hope you pull your shit together! Thanks for giving me a shot!


17. We’ve seen Robbie Crane wearing one of your "TotalPoser" shirts. How many "TotalPoser" shirts have you sold?
I gave a bunch of shirts out to my rockstar buddies and I’m selling a bunch as well. I just did a reorder and added a Totalposer zipper hoodie with the moniker "Burbank" on the lower back. Because I am from the east side of Burbank. Representin’! East Side Muthafuckers!!! I can’t seem to keep those in stock. But my biggest seller is the classic Totalposer t-shirt in the old English font. The runner up to that must be the Totalposer in the Metal Edge/Sludge font, and the girly tee’s are always the obvious favorite. Check out all the new shit at The merch section of totalposer.com just click here and check out all the rad product http://www.merchdirect.net/x/c/home.php?csid=109

Robbie Crane wearing a Total Poser shirt!

18. Don’t you think if you asked a common rock fan on the street who they thought of when you mentioned Warrant, pretty much 100% of them would say Jani Lane?
Yes. As an experiment, I went out in my front yard just now and started asking people as they walked by. A lot of them just started singing to me "Cherry Pie" or "Down Boys." One guy said "That chick in the Cherry Pie video!" Then I said to the guy, "Oh yeah, and what is her name?" He said "Jani Lane."


19. If you were called to rejoin Warrant ever again, you wouldn’t actually fall for that for the 3rd time, would you?
Hmm. Well, as I am a part of the dysfunctional Warrant family, and these guys are my bros… I wouldn’t do it unless Lane was in the band.

with a banana and Butch Walker

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Keith Nelson = The Lord of the Rings, and I ain’t talking about the movie!
Butch Walker = I don’t know how he slid under the radar as well with being in Southgang and all, but more power to him. He produced some tracks on Avril Lavigne’s new record. Shes a bit more grown up. Love the heavy eye makeup she’s wearing these days — she’s looking more and more like a porno star every day. Now I wonder if Butch got to "throw" on her? (I know I would.) I still think shes a POSER! But good for him, great guy, talented musician and great songwriter. Very fashionable I might add!
Billy Morris = The one thing I miss about touring with Warrant is Billy and all the antics we pulled while we were on the road. Making the senior partners cringe and feel uneasy about all the filth we talked about – all the dry docking and upper decking, and let’s not forget the MERE MENTION of Metal Sludge! They didn’t want to hear it. That was a good time. I talk to Billy all the time, a few times a week, and we gossip about what’s going on in the Warrant camp. It’s pretty fun. We’re like two old ladies in a knitting circle.
Courtney Love = Mmm, Courtney. After all, Keith and I wanted to call our band Hole but it was already taken! So we settled on GLORYHOLE U.K. Thanks Courtney. I like her, She’s a lot like Lane, fucked up and just don’t give a fuck. You go gurl!
Jaime St. James = Hey bro, thanks for the call when I got replaced in Warrant. I’ll be sure to do the same when it’s your turn. Good luck, bro! Oh, bro, did I just say bro? You’re not my bro.
Kid Rock = What’s there not to like about the Kid! Pamela, need I say more? When are you taking the GLORYHOLE U.K. out on the road?
Huck Johns = Our fearless singer in the Gloryhole U.K., hailing from Detroit Rock City. And did I mention, Huck wrote a couple songs on Kid Rock’s last record?
Metal Skool = I liked them better when they were called Warrant.
Tommy Lee = Does Tommy know that Travis Barker is totally trying to cop his vibe? I think Travis thought he had all the little punk kids fooled when he went upside down with his drum kit during his drum solo on the Pop Disaster tour with Green Day last year. Hey little punk kids, Tommy did it FIRST!! Can’t wait until the Motley Reunion in 2005. Oh yeah, one more thing, thanks for that little trick you did on the home movie with Pam of shaving your hair back from your cock to gain another inch! That’s rad, I do it all the time (even though it itches like crazy!)
Jerry Dixon = I really like that new tat! Warrant with flames, cool design! Way to commit after 20 years. Hey Jerry, how rad was it when that Scott dude, the 2-month keyboardist, got his Down Boys tat when he was only in the band about 6 weeks? Rad!! I bet you’re glad you don’t have to play with him anymore as well! Hey, when are we going to smoke out of that hookah pipe that I got your chick? Oh yeah thanks for my little Warrant parting gift the digital camera that showed alot of class from you and Erik and the Warrant camp!

Sorry it took so long for me to get these back to you! Come out and say hi to me on the Vans
Warped Tour with Tiger Army in a town near you all summer! Enjoy me at
www.totalposer.com

Your Bro
Mike "the Sack" Fasano,
The Eric Singer of Warrant!

That’s what’s great about Fasano. He even writes his own wrapups at the end of the interview! Less work for us. Thanks to Mike for all the entertainment over the last few years! And to hear Gloryhole U.K.’s debut song, you can of course check it out on our debut Metal Sludge CD, "Hey, That’s What I Call Sludge – Vol. 1"

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