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3-Wind with Riki Rachtman, 3/31/03

 

3-WIND WITH….

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Riki Rachtman

We first did 20 Questions with Riki Rachtman on September 19, 1999.  We also did a Rewind with Riki on June 14, 2001.  And now it’s time for Riki’s 3-Wind!

Riki’s always been a huge supporter of Metal Sludge and plugs us generally wherever he goes. We had Jim Bob Dwarf call up Riki on March 18, 2003, and this is what transpired. Enjoy!

1. What are you up to?

Well, I’ve got two radio shows. I’m doing a radio show in LA called "The Ball." Which is Saturday nights on KLSX. Which I turned down a big, talk radio offer to do this one, because I really, really wanted to do it, and it’s awesome because I get to program the whole show. It the short time that we’ve been on we’ve had everybody from Slayer to Ministry to Anthrax. Everybody has been on as guests. I mean, they just call me. It’s been so much fun because I get to play everything I wanna play. And in the short time that it has been on the air, the response is so good I’m pretty sure it’s gonna syndicate. If it doesn’t I’ll be shocked!

Jim Bob: Right!

I’m not going after trying to do it, I’m just doing it for fun. And I have a nationally syndicated show called "Racing Rocks", which starts 2nd week in April. Which is a rock n’ roll NASCAR show. I know the first affiliate we’ve got is Syracuse, New York. I don’t know where else we are but, I’m sure by the time people are reading this we’ll be all over every station.

2. What time did you wake up today, and can you describe the first 3 hours of your day for us?

It’s gonna sound so…it’s gonna sound so pathetic. It really is. I woke up at about 7 O’clock this morning and I ran. I just blew it. I’m a runner now, that’s sad.

Jim Bob: That’s good! Can’t go wrong there.

(Riki laughs) That’s what happens to us aging rockers. We’ve got to do something.

Jim Bob: Health is a good thing.

Exactly! This whole running thing is brand new for me. So that’s what I did. I wake up really early.

Jim Bob: That’s like Alice Cooper now. He gets up at like 6!

Yeah! But last night, last night was rough cause it was one of the few instances where I actually went out. So I got, you know, home at like 3, and then to get back up at like 6, but whatever.

3. What are your current thoughts on MTV?

(very long pause)
I don’t really watch it that much. I think some of the specials on certain things are great, but I think it would be nice if they started a channel that was for specials and MTV was left to play music. Obviously, probably out of pure jealously, I hate all the VJ’s. But that’s just because I want to be a VJ again.

4. What are your plans for The Ball show on 97.1 KLSX and how has it been going so far?

Plans are, don’t get fired this time!

Jim Bob: That’s always good.

Don’t get in any fights. And just have fun. The second it stops being fun I’m gonna quit. It’s as easy as that. I’m sure not doing this show for the money. And I drive an hour and a half to the station and I’m doing it, just because…..it’s fuckin’ bitchin’! It’s like, on the drive home, I’m like wired. It just sounds like such a lame, clich?. But there’s actually for once, I think there’s some really, really good music out there, for once. For a long time, I was just like, "You know what? Fuck this. There’s nothing out there." The whole rap/metal thing, I just wasn’t feeling that. And uh, and now there’s just some stuff out there that’s just like….and the labels love the show. Because nobody’s, you know…..everywhere else in America there’s rock stations. Here in Southern California, there isn’t. So the labels are like, I get a call, "Hey, you want Jason Newsted on next week?" I’m like, "Fuck yes!" You know, I love the new Ministry album. And we got Al Jourgensen on the show to talk about the release of the record, and I’m like, "I didn’t even have to go after these people." So it’s really nice and……you know, there’s a couple of differences the station wants me to do. Cause I’m on a talk station. So the station is trying to get me to talk more, which is flattering, but that’s not, you know…..even though I love to talk all the time, I’m from a talk radio background…..I want to play music.

Jim Bob:Ok, this is going to be fun, maybe.

Ok, where’s the trouble?

Jim Bob: No, it’s not trouble.

If you have like a top 3 most hated people on Metal Sludge, I’ve got to be somewhere up there, right?

Jim Bob:Well, I think there’s a question about that somewhere on here.

Ok, good!

Jim Bob:We’ll get to that.

That’s my new moniker on the radio. It’s "The Most Hated Man On The Internet." I have a lot to say about message boards.

5. For this next question, we’re going to read some song lyrics and you have to fill in the blank, as well as tell us what band. Good luck!

"Kick your friend in the head and have a ball. Come and do the ____ ______

And slam your partner against the wall."


Answer: Toxic Waltz

Song: Toxic Waltz by Exodus

Oh God, is it Toxic Waltz by Exodus?

Jim Bob:
10 points for you! Yes it is.

Oh God, I’m going to fail every other one.

Jim Bob: I don’t know.

I will, I’ll fail every other one.

"I grab my hat and I grab my _______. Tonight I’m gonna hit the streets and cruise."

Answer = shoes

Song = I Want Action by Poison

(pause) "Careless Whispers" by Wham.

Jim Bob:Nooooooo.

Am I wrong?

Jim Bob: Yeah!

Fuck!

Jim Bob: The word is "shoes" and it’s "I Want Action" by Poison.

Oh. Oops.

"Talking to you is like clapping with one hand. What is it? _____ _____ ____ ____"

Answer: Caught In A Mosh

Song: Caught In A Mosh by Anthrax

(pause) Talking to you is like clapping with one hand?

Jim Bob: Right.

(pause) "Whip It" by Devo.

Jim Bob: Uh, "Caught In A Mosh" by Anthrax.

Damn.

"Lets go to the house where business is a pleasure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.

And as long as there’s a _______ I won’t go away."

Answer: virgin

Song: Cathouse by Faster Pussycat

(Riki laughs) Is it The Cure? No, Faster Pussycat.

"If there’s a new way, I’ll be the first in line. But, it better _____ _____ _____"

Answer: work this time

Song: Peace Sells by Megadeth



Megadeth.


Jim Bob: Missing lyrics?

(Riki hums along) Careless whisper, Wham.

"I’ve got a picture of your house and you’re standing by the _______."

Answer: door

Song: Heaven by Warrant

(pause) I know who it is, I’m just trying to think of a better answer. Cause I don’t wanna know who it is. (everybody laughs)

Jim Bob: You can’t unlearn those things.

I don’t wanna come clean I know who it is! That would we definitely be (long pause)

Jim Bob: Austrian rock, all right!

6. You once said you weren’t the metal guy, but you’re now hosting a metal show and restarted the Cathouse recently. If you’re not the metal guy, then who exactly are you?

I’m a guy who likes music. On my show, I’ll play everything. I’ll still say I’m not the metal guy. I never said I was the metal guy and I don’t have to be the metal guy. People are so stupid. It’s fucking music. Ok? It’s people playing some cords. You know, I’m playing bands on my show like Fear and T.S.O.L. and the Cro-Mags, and kids are calling up and saying, "Fuck, what band is this?" They love this. It’s off. If it’s loud and it’s fast I’m going to play it. I don’t care if you say I play too much punk, I play too much metal, I play too much death, I play everything. I have, on my show, I was so stoked that I went from Cannibal Corpse to the Cro-Mags to Skid Row. To me, that was SO awesome. I love that, you know? It’s all fucking music, and I still will say I’m not the metal guy. You know, there are so many stupid little, you know….I like loved reading these like fucking idiots on message boards saying like, "oh my God I can’t wait to hear his show. Faster Pussycat, Warrant and Trixter." And I’m like, "what the…you fucks don’t even know me. You’ve never heard the show. Shut up" When I haven’t played one of those bands. Not, only because I didn’t want to. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t play a Faster Pussycat song. If it arises I might. I had Jackyl on the show last week. You know, because I thought they’d be fun! You know, people are fuckin’ idiots. That’s all I have to say. People on message boards are fucking idiots. And it doesn’t matter if you work in rock and it doesn’t matter if you work in wrestling, and it doesn’t matter if you work in hockey. It’s just people who sit behind their computers and talk so much shit. And it’s stupid. The worst part about it is I read them all and I think they’re all right! (laughs) If I had half a brain, I’d stop reading them.

7. Of all the bands you had on Headbanger’s Ball, who did you have the most fun with and who was the biggest pain in the ass?

Alice In Chains were always fun. Pantera was always fun. (long pause)Gene Simmons was kind of like….Gene Simmons was, he wasn’t necessarily a pain in the ass, he was just very insulting to a lot of the female staff. And I’m insulting all the time, so for him to say that it just didn’t come off right. But I wouldn’t say he was a pain in the ass. You know what it is, whenever there are bands that were pains in the asses cause there were a lot, I don’t even think about that anymore. The beauty about what I’m doing right now is I don’t have to be nice to anybody. If I’m nice to somebody, which of course people mistake for kissing ass, if I’m nice to somebody it’s because I genuinely like ‘em. Anthrax. Anthrax was always fun and always down for whatever. Same thing with Rob Zombie. You know those people got it, you know? They weren’t like, "hey, we’re so evil and we’re so dark and fuck the system." It’s like, you know what, it is what it is, lets try and have fun. And those people got it.

8. When you brought back the Cathouse, the first night was great but each week it got slower and slower. Why do you think Cathouse didn’t take off and what would you do different?

(pause)Umm, (sighs)I don’t know why it didn’t take off. I think the first night, the thing was, my whole idea on it was just to bring back…..I mean I used to want fun all the time. I wanted to bring back something that I thought would be fun. And the first night was. But it’s not 1986. It’s not 1996 even for that matter. And uh, (pause) I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think I had the venue, I don’t think, I mean, forever everybody was like, "why don’t you bring back the Cathouse?" And I’m like, "Dude, it’s open this week." You know? I still get asked. After all these years, "bring back the Cathouse, bring back The Ball." People didn’t know. Now that I’m on the radio, I think I could bring back the Cathouse, but I won’t. Just cause it sounds like work. You know, I would do it for one night. You know I would do one fun thing for one night, and get all those old bands back together and do like the kind of shows you guys put on. That would be like fun for the Cathouse. I wouldn’t do the Cathouse with, you know, with the real, real, you know, death metal bands that are real popular. Not because I don’t like ‘em, but because it wouldn’t be the same thing. The Cathouse is as clich? as it sounds. It was all about music, booze, and getting fucked. That’s really what it was. Last night I sat with some old friend and we just told stories. And we do it all the time, like a bunch of friggin old men. (talks in old man voice)"I remember when Axl chased Bowie down the street. I remember when we got in fights with these guys." It’s was just incredible and it’ll never ever be duplicated and if you weren’t around then, then you just don’t know.

9. You said you never picked the videos on Headbanger’s Ball. Ok, now is your chance. Give us 3 videos you would play and 3 videos you’d make sure never got played again.

Well (pause) I like Suicidal "Institutionalized." I always pick that one, because that was just a fun, fun video. Uh, (pause)God, it’s so funny, for some reason when I’m not into that type of music scene, I keep on thinking…..I don’t know what it is but lately I really like Skid Row. (laughs) But probably obviously something from Guns N’ Roses. Guns N’ Roses are still the greatest rock n’ roll band ever. And I’m trying to think of back then, not if I was on now.

Jim Bob: Ok, sure!

I mean there were a lot of bands we had on Headbanger’s Ball that people don’t realize we had on. We had The Ramones. We had Pennywise and Rancid and all those other bands that ended up being popular later. I don’t know. I mean there are a lot of bands that I’ve seen that are just so friggin’ stupid. You know, the only band that I can think of right now, even though they weren’t around Headbanger’s Ball…I really have an issue with Creed videos. I mean, and I know everybody does. But it’s just so damn serious and I just hate people who just take themselves so serious, you know? I like people who just have fun. The Anthrax videos were always fun. You know? I’m using that stupid word again. It’s a word that people have to learn and not be so fucking full of themselves and worried about everything. I hate everybody trying to act like hard guys when they are a bunch of pussies. I just get….I don’t know.

10. The last of Riki Rachtman:

Last time you talked to Axl =
Uh, was when I got arrested for assault. The last time I talked to Slash was last night. I saw Slash last night. Um, the last time I talked to Axl would be the day I got arrested. It was weird. The day I got arrested for getting into a fight with that DJ he called me up to ask me if I had an attorney. And that was it. It was kinda weird. The guy that was such a big part of my life and he helped me so much, I would have like to just talk but didn’t. I see Slash. I talked to Slash last night and he’s AWESOME! So is Duff. Those guys look healthy and happy. I don’t understand how some people can’t put aside all differences and just play and be the biggest fucking rock band in the world. Aerosmith can.

Jim Bob:And they could do it too!

They could! But you know what, it’s lik
e with Axl canceling those shows again and stuff like that…..it’s just…….(pause) you know, just get Izzy back and(grunts, sounds frustrated). It’s frustrating because you know what, kids listen to "Appetite" and they’re like, "this shit is awesome." It is. "Appetite" is one of the best fucking records.

Last hairband CD you listened to = (pause) That I listened to not playing on my show, right?

Jim Bob: Right.

(very long pause) Mmmm, I’m trying to think. I’m looking at my CDs now. (pause) I don’t know. Queensryche isn’t a hairband, are they?

Jim Bob: I guess?

Ok, "Operation: Mindcrime." If that’s a hairband, then "Operation: Mindcrime."

Jim Bob: I don’t think they’re technically a hairband.

They’re not technically a hairband but they’re from that era. And that was the last time I put in one of my old CDs and listened to the whole thing from start to finish. I know the last old rock record I listened to was Ted Nugent.

Jim Bob: Which one, the self titled?

"Free For All." Yeah! I loved….that record, just to date myself, I remember when that came out and when "Double Live Gonzo" came out. I was such a Nugent freak when I was a little kid.
Last movie you saw =Uh, I saw "Dragonfly" on DVD. I rented "Dragonfly." That was ok. And I saw….it wasn’t "Old School." I like going to movies and they all suck. I’m really excited to see "X-Men 2" because I’m a comic book dork. I wish I could come up with a really cool answer. Just put "Jaws." "Jaws" was the greatest movie ever made.

Last time you watched Decline Of Western Civilization Part 2 =Don’t have no fucking clue. I mean it would have to be…..OH I’ll tell you exactly when the last time I saw it is!!! They had the anniversary party probably about a year or so ago at the Arclight, which was the Cineramic Dome. And I think I’ve watched the beginning to end of that movie a couple times.Maybe two. And I saw it on the big screen in the same place it premiered the first time and I was watching it and it was just….it was a trip. For one I’m drinking in it. And I haven’t drank for so long and I’m watching myself drink. But it was a trip. It’s also kind of sad, watching all those people, "we’re gonna make it!" "Well what if you don’t?" "Well we’re gonna!" "But what if you don’t?"

Jim Bob: Like Seduce or something.

Yeah. The funny thing is, is like, which Metal Sludge is guilty and I’m guilty for it as well, is that we like to relish in people’s failure when they have to leave the entertainment business and go get regular jobs. When 89% of the people in the entertainment business are going to have to get a regular job. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I would guess that most of the people that read Metal Sludge are not successful musicians. They all have regular jobs. But because these people are getting regular jobs, does that make them losers? Well does that mean you’re loser? I went and said, "You know what, I don’t think this rock n’ roll TV shit is working for me now." And I had to go get a regular job. I had to get a job selling cars! Because I love cars. And uh, I got ripped apart. All these websites were making fun of me for selling cars. And I’m like, "You know what? They’re not banging on my door to have the host of Headbanger’s Ball come back. And I’m not going to keep on and and relish ’86. And I like fucking cars. I like toys! I like to eat!" So I went out and got jobs, you know? You hear about all these people that were so positive they were going to make it. My whole credo was, "Yeah, I’m gonna make it." "What if you don’t?" "Then I’ll do something else!" And thank God after working normal jobs for a year and a half, I’m back into the old business and I don’t have to work the normal jobs. But if it comes up, it’s gonna come up.

Jim Bob: No shame in that.

There is. There is. Tom Leykis is a talk show, he did a whole thing on his show about how funny it was that I was a car salesmen and this and that. There was, to be honest, there were times it was so fucking humiliating that I had to sell cars. But it’s like, I had to work. I don’t like sitting still. So he did this whole thing, "oh my God, can you believe he’s a car salesmen." And I’m like, "so fucking what?"

Jim Bob: Did it ever come down to somebody coming out to watch you work…

Oh yeah.

Jim Bob: …or taking pictures and shit.

Well I don’t know about that. I hope not. But there were times people came in and said they wanted to get a car from me. Instead of going at it like, "Oh my God I have to sell cars. How pathetic is this?" I said you know what, I made my own business cards that said I was the "Sports And Entertainment Sales Director" or something, which is a made up title! That way I just went up to all the people that I knew and try to sell them cars. It wasn’t that bad, you know? But I’m not good at it.

Jim Bob:There’s worse things you could do.

I’m not that good at it. But it’s good to know that…now I’ve got a couple of TV things going on and I make a good living from radio again, but if that falls apart again, which it might, I’ll got get another job!

Last wrestling event you went to = Probably the last time the WWE was in Los Angeles. But I hope to go. I think they’re out here in like a week. I love professional wrestling.

Last time you talked to Taime = Years. Years. I haven’t talked to him in years.

Last rock star you had dinner with = Well I saw Slash last night but we didn’t sit down and have dinner. Ummm(pause) I guess I sorta had dinner with Rob Zombie at this hockey thing. He just happened to be there. We were sitting at the same table. I don’t like rock stars.

Last tribute band you watched perform = The only real tribute band I can remember seeing would be Metal Shop.

Jim Bob: We love Metal Shop.

They’re fucking awesome!They’re really, really good. You know why? Because they get it. That’s it. They remember that word of ‘fun’. That’s why I like them. And you know what? I probably haven’t seen them in well over a year cause I don’t really live in LA anymore, but everytime I see ‘em they make me smile. If a band brings some sort of reaction….you know, I’m gonna see Ministry tomorrow night and I can’t wait. I know it’ll give me a reaction. I’ll leave feeling something. Maybe angry, or sweating, or something. But something. Metal Shop always made me smile and that’s…

Jim Bob:That’s awesome.

They get it. And that’s why I like them.

Last time you skateboarded = Oh…..probably about a month and I’m not happy about it. But I will be skating again this week but I probably skated about a month ago. And that’s like not good. I should be skating a lot. I skate with Steve Rachelle!

Jim Bob: Well that counts.

No, I have, I meant. The Metal Sludge people might think that’s funny. Back in the day, I HATED him.

Jim Bob: Really?

I hated that band. I just thought that they were so fucking lame. And then…I didn’t like any of that glammy Tuff/Warrant scene. I didn’t like that. And then through skating I met him and he was like, "hey, well lets go skating." It just bummed me out that he was so good. (laughs)He’s a really good skater. And he’s a really good guy to skate with too.

Last rock star you kicked out of The Cathouse = (long pause) I think every rock star was kicked out of The Cathouse. Anybody that’s in a band that you might sell a million records, but if you’re a rock star you don’t get in. I don’t like rock stars. I don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I kicked somebody out.

Jim Bob: Did it happen though?

That rock stars have been kicked out?

Jim Bob: Yeah

FUCK YES! All the time. Bands would come in and act like slapsticks all the time, you know? There are so many stories of people just acting like, band guys, acting like idiots. The even funnier thing is that when band guys that aren’t really doing anything that think that they should get all this carte blanche. It’s funny. It’s funny, it’s like the more money you make, the less you should have to spend. I will give that to Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons did insist on paying a cover charge at The Cathouse and I thought that was kinda cool. But then I think he charged everybody to look at him, so…

11. Of all the lead singers who were good looking back in the day, which one looks the most tore up today?

(pause) Well C.C. was ugly then and he looks really tore up now. He doesn’t even look like the same person. I see him talking about his sobriety with his jaw all grinding, you know? Stuff like that always makes me laugh.The thing is, I don’t really, I mean, I don’t go out and see those people anymore so I don’t really know. I think the surprising thing is to go see people and see how surprisingly ok they look. Like a lot of people, you’d think…..you’d think Slash would look dead after all the shit that he’s done. And he’s not. He looks good.

Jim Bob: He still looks the same basically.

Yeah. (pause) I don’t know. I don’t really see that many old rock stars.I don’t really see that many people. I think if you’re losing your hair, you should just get rid of it all. Don’t like wear the bandana or the little cap or stuff like that. It’s like, my hair grows like weeds. And any time I put on a hat it’s like, "oh my God Riki’s losing his hair." It’s like stupid. Whenever I have to go somewhere if people haven’t seen me in 15 years or whatever, I can’t wear hats anymore. Or I’ll read about it on Metal Sludge.

12. Who did you pay to be listed as a C-List celebrity in the latest GQ Magazine? How did you get such a GOOD ranking?

A: I did not pay anybody.

and

B: Thank you, because you’re the only other person that thinks that its, that, that, that’s acting like it is….everybody thinks that a C-list is bad. I was so flattered. I have been ranting and raving that I’m a C-list celebrity. Like the C-list is supposed to be like, "oh these guys are on their way down." I’m serious, when I found out that I was listed as a C-list celebrity, I was so stoked! Like it’s supposed to be a dig, and I’m happy! I’m running around like, "I’m a C-List celebrity!" (laughs)I didn’t even know I was on a list. If there was somebody to pay, if there is a bill that’s coming my way and I owe ‘em money, tell me I’ll write the check, I don’t care. But I was pretty damn stoked that I’m a C-List celebrity. I thought that was great!

13. Which do you prefer and why:

Firehouse or Napalm Death =
Napalm Death

Jack Osbourne or Kelly Osbourne = (long pause) Napalm Death!

Rock n roll or Rock a billy = Rock a billy is rock n’ roll

Waffle House or House Of Pancakes =Waffle house, don’t even ask! Put it this way, I prefer Waffle House in front of every other question you just asked me. That’s a good one. I love Waffle House.

Daytona 500 or Long Beach Grand Prix = Oh my God, that’s the stupidest question in the world! I’d rather get a root canal than go to the Long Beach Grand Prix. I would shoot my brother in the back to go to the Daytona 500. I love the Daytona 500.

Bam Margera or Wee Man = I know Wee Man and I don’t know Bam. Wee Man is awesome! He’s a really, really, really, good guy. And I’ve never met Bam, but he’s probably a good guy, I guess.

Stone Cold Steve Austin or The Undertaker = Stone Cold. I’ve never met The Under…actually I’ve never met either of them. But I like Stone Cold. I like Undertaker. I like both of em.

Pauly Shore or Carson Daly = Carson Daly! Carson…put it this way, Carson Daly, and I hate to say this, is a really, really, really nice guy. And everytime I’ve ever seen Carson Daly he’s been really, really cool. I don’t think he asked to be like this pop icon guy. But Carson Daly is rad! He’s a good guy. I mean I never hang out with him or talk to him, but everytime I see him he’s just so nice. And Pauly Shore is the complete opposite! You want a good Pauly Shore story?

Jim Bob: Absouletly!

Ok, I’ve got a couple of em. One, I….(pause) I once stalked some chick because I knew it was his girlfriend.

Jim Bob: Oh wow.

It was Savannah. I fucked Savannah just because I knew it was his girlfriend. And, he had this movie called "Son In Law" and I went up for a part in "Son In Law," for a part of like a hairdresser that I think David Spade got. But I got the part and the day of the movie when he saw that I was in it, he said he doesn’t want me in the movie so he took me out. But because I had already signed the deal and everything I still got residuals, I still got checks. I still get checks for a movie that I was never in!

Jim Bob:(laughs uncontrollably)

And now it’s great, because now I never had to be in a stupid Pauly Shore movie. He’s a dork.

Skateboarding or Snowboarding =Skateboarding, because I don’t get to snowboard. Now I’m looking at mountains just covered in snow and I’m stupid. I haven’t even gone.

Being a Dj or a Vj = (pause) Being a DJ is a lot easier.

Jim Bob: Really?

Oh my God, yes. They’re both…the hardest part is just putting up with people. I take what I do very seriously and I’ve never been a person who likes to sit in a roped VIP section or do this or do that. And people that say, "you suck for playing these videos." How many times can I say I didn’t pick the fucking videos? Or "you were so funny kissing everybody’s ass on the bands you liked." Yeah, guess what, I’m a fucking rock fan. And you know what, I’ve also waited in line to get autographs before. And if I see somebody that I like and I’m happy because I’ve been interviewing 20 bands that I think suck…it’s the same fucking story I’ve said for 10 years, you know? And the problem is, I get these problems that I just sometimes wish I could just go out there and just fucking KILL everybody who talks shit. And just realize they’re fucking idiots, you know? They don’t get it. People just don’t get it. It’s a job, you know? And how many of you are going to Burger King and saying, "fuck you guys, I want to make burritos today. I don’t care if everybody is telling me to make hamburgers, I’m going to make burritos." You know? So I’m going to walk into there and go, "you’re an idiot for not making burritos." You know, whatever. It’s a job. Do I wish I could program it? Yes. If I programed it would the show have been much better? Listen to my radio show. If you don’t like my radio show, change the fucking channel. I just love the people in Metal Sludge that are criticizing my radio show and they’ve never even heard it!

Jim Bob: Those Gossip Board again!

I guess so. I had to stop reading them cause…and you know what, the funny thing is it’s like that in everything. Everybody that does those message boards, you know what they’re like? They’re like Trekkies.

Jim Bob: (laughs)

They are. They’re like little bitches that sit behind and talk a little shit and then there are the fucking insecure idiots like me that read it and I could get a million letters that say, "hey, good job, good job," and one FAT FUCK that’s 12 years old writes and says, "Riki’s a poser and he’s a kiss ass and he sucks." And I read that letter and I go, "oh my God, that guys right!"(laughs) And the same thing would happen when I was working in wrestling. The same thing was happening when I was working in hockey. Because when there is something I get to do that I really like, I’m sorry if I act goofy but I get excited, you know? When I signed a deal to work in NASCAR, I was the fucking biggest dork in the world. I’m sorry I’m happy. You go up to some kid and go, "hey kid, you’re going to get to hang out with friggin’ AC/DC." And that kid’s going to go, (talks monotone) "oh, that’s pretty cool man." Fuck no, you’re gonna be running around jumping and screaming. That’s all I did. You know the wrestling thing I got ruined the most. And that was my own fault. Because, and I know a lot of Metal Sludge people are wrestling fans too, when I did wrestling I was in Panama City, I walked out to the ring with Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan and I don’t know why I said this, but I walked out there in Panama City, didn’t know I was going to be in the ring that night, scared to fucking death, and the whole gimmick was I was supposed to say how I know how to find the best chicks and stuff like that. And I walked out there and said, "You know what? I might not know a lot about wrestling but I know where there are good looking chicks" or something like that. And that was my demise in wrestling cause everybody was like "why’s he working in wrestling? He doesn’t know anything about wrestling." So I’m sure that was exciting to wrestling fans and absolutely nobody else. I just thought I’d share that. Cause then the wrestling message boards ripped me apart too.

14. You always said that the Cathouse will turn you on to other bands before anyone else will. During the Cathouse’s last run, what bands did you turn people onto?

(sighs) Uh, we had….well, we had Buckcherry but they were called something else. I forgot what they were called. They were called Sparrow. Buckcherry was called Sparrow. And nobody else. Well we turned them onto brand new bands like Junkyard and brand new bands like L.A. Guns!(laughs) That last run doesn’t count. The last run shouldn’t even have been called Cathouse. It just didn’t end up being the same.

Jim Bob: Didn’t you have Rhino Bucket play the opener?

No, I think Junkyard played the opener. But we did have Rhino Bucket play before. They were good.

Jim Bob: Jackie Enx rules! We love Jackie Enx!

How rad is that? How rad is that? How come Halford and her/him never got together in a band? It’s like their drummer is a chick. Their drummer used to be a guy, and now their drummer is a chick with like gnarly arms. And you don’t say shit because you know that she could kick your ass!

Jim Bob: Absolutely!

And she’s a great drummer!

Jim Bob: They should be milking that for all it’s worth. It’s not even a gimmick.

It’s not. It’s like fuck Marilyn Manson tucking his dick between his thing, this guy chopped his off!! And did it not to be in a band, he did it because he felt like he wanted too. That’s fuckin’ rock. That, you know, nobody did.

15. Yes or no, has Riki Rachtman ever:

Broke a bone skateboarding =
Oh yes! Oh yea, I’ve done it several times. I did it probably about two years ago. I broke my middle finger. How rad is that?

Jim Bob: That’s painful. Did you have to have it sticking up the entire time?

I had a cast that went all the way past my elbow. A big cast, because you can’t move your elbow, and it’s still kind of fucked up.

Wanted to beat Mark McGrath’s ass =Wanted to beat Mark McGrath’s ass? No, but before they were in the Shrinky Dinks, they were really, really, good friends and I think they really did change. He’s kind of like a rock star. Did I ever want to beat his ass? No, probably cause he’d kick my ass. I make a habit, I have gotten into a lot of fights, but I make a habit not to get into any fights with somebody who could probably kick my ass. So I usually fight real little scrawny people. Because there is no sense in fighting anybody who’s going to kick your ass because it hurts, especially when your 80 years old like me.

Had plastic surgery = No

Met Britney Spears = Noooo

Jim Bob: That would be fun.

Yeahhh. What’s up with Durst? Durst did fuck her, right? You think he did?

Jim Bob:I don’t know.

He sure handled that thing wrong. He came off like such a bitch. Poor guy. But he is such a good skater!

Jim Bob: Really?

Oh my God! He is so good. That sucks too. Just because we are talking about it, I just want everybody to know, if they do see me anywhere, I’m really, really bad.

Jim Bob: What, skating?

Oh yea. Oh yea I such. Just because we talk about it a lot doesn’t mean I’m any good. I suck.

Regretted a tattoo = (makes farting type sound) Hell yeah! I can think of a bunch of them I regret.

Jim Bob: Geez, you’re like sleeved and all.

Yeah. I’ve been sleeved longer than I haven’t been sleeved.

Voted in American Idol = No, I never saw American Idol. Never, never, never. And nobody will ever hear of any of those people on the show ever again. The only person who has gotten a career out of American Idol is, people now know who Paula Abdul is again. That show is stupid. Sam Harris was the big Star Search winner. Who the fuck ever heard of him again? I hate those shows.

Gone to a party at the Playboy Mansion =Yes! I went and saw Jesse Camp’s band play.

Jim Bob: Oh God!

Yeah.

Jim Bob: Was that fun?

No. No, it was not fun at all. (laughs)

Bought Scott Ian a gift for Hanukah = No, but I would!

Had sex with a girl whose name you didn’t even know = Yes.

Jim Bob:Good for you! Right on.

Yeah.

Jim Bob: Be proud!

Back in the day. But I also have a hard time with names.

Seen Taime Downe laying out in the sun =No

16. You were the DJ at Tommy Lee’s wedding. What exactly do you remember about that day?

I took a lot of Extasy. I remember playing Setae Wonder "My Cherie Amore" into Motley Crue’s "Bastard." And I remember, uh…..I was DJ’ing at clubs. I was like this long haired rocker guy that used to DJ at all these like hip hop clubs, believe it or not. People don’t really know that. Like before it was really cool to have the funk DJ’s and stuff, that’s what I did, I would DJ black clubs. That’s how I made a living, playing records. And I was playing this song. This song I think was called "Let’s Go All The Way," this hip hop song, Fly Girls sorta. And I was scratching. And I was scratching with like "Shout At The Devil" mixing it in with AC/DC and doing all this crazy shit. And him and Heather came up into the DJ booth and they said, "Hey man, you should DJ our wedding!" And I’m like rock guy there, so I’m like, "here, sign my record." And I was sooo stoked. That was such a great gig. But I got really fucked up.

17. Of all the bands that were on the Strip back in the day, who should have had more success and who had success but didn’t deserve it?

Ok. Who shouldn’t have success but didn’t deserve it? Who should have had more success?(pause) There’s a lot of bands that should have had success. I don’t know if you’d call ‘em Strip bands. Bands like….ok Junkyard! Junkyard is just a good rock band. You know, and I never understood why they never ever went further. Um, a lot of those bands. Saigon Kick and Supersuckers. The Circus Of Powers and stuff like that. And I know there’s probably a lot of other bands I’ll think of later that I can’t think of right now. But there are a lot of bands that I don’t understand why they didn’t make it and somebody else did. I don’t know. And who shouldn’t have gotten success?

Jim Bob:Exactly.


Well I don’t know cause if they shouldn’t have had the success, it probably came around and bit them in the ass.

18. What happened with you and Janine? One minute she’s going out with you and the next she’s married to Jesse James. How did that happen?

You know, everybody can just make up their own answer for that one. I’m sure that she is much happier and I know for a fact that I am a zillion times happier. I mean, no insult on her, but that was without a doubt the darkest time of my life and it was funny how much things changed once we separated. But she’s moved on to greener pastures and so did I and there’s times in your life when, you know, when you’re….I think every time in your life a guy should go out with a stripper and a porno star. Everybody should try it for a little bit…

Jim Bob: I’ll try it!

You should. You really should. But then there’s a time when it’s not that cool. There’s a lot of girls that are freaky that are bankers or work in the car business or whatever, you know? It’s just like, I wish her all the best. Jesse’s a great guy. I wish them all the best. I have not seen her and spoke with her and probably never ever will.

19. Why do so many people hate you?

(pause) Thanks a lot man.

Jim Bob: Hey!

Why didn’t you make that the first question? I would have been gone already. See, I was ready for you to say that I was supposed to say, "why do so many people hate me?" and then you were just supposed to say, "no, not that many people hate you!" Now you come up and say, "why do so many people hate you?" You know what, I have no FUCKING clue.

Jim Bob: I didn’t even know. I didn’t know people hated you.

You know what it is? It’s because they don’t know and I think that really what it is that a lot of people are really, really jealous. And I have to be honest, I have been blessed with the best gigs in the world. I have the job that if you’re a rock fan, and obviously every body who looks at Metal Sludge is a rock fan, I got to meet every single band in the world. And am I just like them? No. Am I a goofy guy? Yeah. Am I fucking immature? Yeah. And because I was outspoken. I said the way that I honestly felt. When I said, "I’m not the metal guy," I’m not the metal guy. I’m a guy that listens to rock n’ roll. I’m a guy that will play, you know, play Slayer put also play Billy Holiday. Big fucking deal. I love music. Now that I’m doing this show am I playing a lot more louder, faster, heavier stuff and digging it more than I have in the past years? Fuck yes! But I’m just a rock fan that’s done everything that he wants and found a way to milk it and I think for not being in a band, I did it better than anybody else in the world. I found a way to be in the rock business without ever being in a band. I don’t know anybody else that…

Jim Bob: You’re everywhere. You’re in videos, and all over TV. Shit like that.

I should have kept the all important cred, which I didn’t think I ever had in the first place and turned down all that stuff and told MTV "fuck you." When I was on MTV I lived in a house with 3 cars and a swimming pool and tons of this and that, and I had to play videos that I didn’t like.(laughs) No regrets, you know. Everything was….you know, I get excited. The new show, anybody that listens to it I think would probably like it. I get some people that are saying, "you’re not playing enough the Viking wizard rock that’s so big in Europe." And you know, maybe I’m not. But I will play maybe one song and then I’ll play something else. I’m playing a lot of stuff….I’m not playing the bands that you’re hearing on the radio. I’ve yet to play Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit or any of that stuff on the show.(pause) I think just because I’m doing exactly what I want to do and people….people love, it’s so much easier to talk shit than to compliment. And I don’t need people’s compliments. I know when I look at the ratings of what I do that I’m doing something right. If you want to talk shit, go ahead. But people are fucking idiots. There was a time when I had to stop reading the shit because it was so lame. I was the first guy ever in radio, that I know of, that stood up for what he believed in, for once, and somebody was talking shit and I did the wrong thing by kicking somebody’s ass and going to jail and losing everything and all of a sudden I’m that was stupid and….I don’t know. I don’t know. There’s a lot of times I’ve talked to people who were really, "you suck, you’re this" and I’m like, ok, whatever. And then I’ll sit down and talk to em and people see my point of view on things. If they don’t, fuck em, I don’t care. I have to not care. I think my new show is great. I think when people listen to the "Racing Rocks" show, there’s going to be a lot of people that are really mad because we’re playing hits. It’s a rock show that talks about NASCAR. And no, we’re not going to be playing, you know, Slayer on it. But they are going to be playing….who knows, some of those big rock bands, the Salivas, those will probably be getting played. Am I picking the music on that show? Not at all. So since I can’t play the music I wanna play do I not do the show? Fuck no! I get to talk about NASCAR. I’m white trash and this is a dream come true.

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.

C.C. DeVille =
Dork

Don Dokken =See above

Eric Bischoff =He lied to me. (makes crying sound) We sat in a bar in North Carolina. He sat me down and he said, "you are going to be huge with this company." He goes, "you’re going to be like the next Mean Gene." Which I never attempted to be. I never thought I could be as good as Gene Okerlund. I think he’s awesome! But I thought I would have been a fucking great manager. And he sat down and told me all this and then changes started coming and he never returned a call. So it hurt my feeling cause I really wish I was back in wrestling. It was one of the best gigs I ever had.

Steve O = Met him a couple times. He’s got a gimmick and it works for him.

Ice T = Awesome! Played my birthday party. He’s one of the guys…he’s smart! He won’t go away. Eminem won’t go away. Cause they’re both smart.

Marq Torien = See C.C. and Don Dokken

Gene Simmons = (very long pause then laughter) Uh, get the money.

Layne Staley =Sad. He was so awesome. He was so great. You know, I hear these bands…that band I think has been ripped off more than anybody. I mean when I hear Godsmack I hear such obvious Alice In Chains ripoffs. You know? And so what cause Alice In Chains isn’t doing it. So I guess everybody kind of rips of everybody. But uh, that was a real bummer because he was so cool and that band was so great.

Iann Robinson =Obviously I’m going to hate ANY VJ because they’re doing the show I loved to do. Iann is in a position where he has a lot more leeway than I did. I was never allowed to have an opinion of a band. So if there was a band that I liked, I would rant and rave about it because there were so many bands that I hated that I had to keep my mouth shut. A lot of people know what happened with the Stone Temple Pilots thing were I pretty much did nothing and I got in a lot of trouble with that one. The problem that I have with Iann is that I heard he talks a lot of shit about me. And uh, enjoy your time at MTV but I guarantee….what can I say, he does a good job at what he does but he talks a lot of shit about me from what I hear and from what I read even at Metal Sludge. So in that case he’s pathetic. And this will come to blow up in my face because I know I will be seeing him very soon. Prior to what I read that he said, I had always thought that he was good. He does a great job. He doesn’t seem like he’s reading cards and that he has an opinion, which is good. But for him, talking shit is pretty pathetic.Dave Mustaine = Everybody wanted there to be this big feud, which this has been answered on MTV a bunch of times too, there really…..he created a feud between me and him. But it really wasn’t a feud. We went skydiving together. I was like the only rocker guy at his wedding at the time. He’s a genius and I really….I wish he would have like a hit. I really do. I wish that band would have some hits.

There’s a couple bands like…you said Strip bands, if I had a day I could make a long list of bands that I was just so sure were just gonna be huge and never were. There’s some good bands. There’s some good rock bands out there now. What are some new bands that everybody is liking, do you think?

Jim Bob: What do I think?

Yeah.

Jim Bob: Oh Christ, cause I’m so out of it too. I’m old school. New stuff? I don’t know. I like American Hi-Fi, but it’s really old school sounding. They grew up on that hairband stuff. I don’t know. I dig them. But newer? The whole rap/metal thing is always gonna be there and these bands with a number in their name, there’s just so many of them.

Like Blink 182.

Jim Bob: Like any thing. Like SR-71 or Blink 182.

Oh, fuck that. Let me tell you something. Bands like Good Charlotte and New Found Glory and those bands (says sort of evil sounding) I REALLY HATE! I really, really hate. I saw T.S.O.L. play last night. How that band never made it big is beyond me. There were bands like The Adolescents back then, these bands just blew away…..and for those bands to come out and say, "well we’re punk rock" when they’re so not punk rock. They’re the biggest boy bands. They’re such packaged boy bands. It repulses me. It really, really does. Then when I say, "oh I’m going to play some old punk stuff on The Ball" and everybody goes, "oh God," thinking I’m going to be playing that FUCKING garbage and I don’t. You know, I’m sorry, Pennywise is a rock band. When I played…I’ve really been getting into the Cro-Mags lately. And that band is just fucking heavy shit.

Jim Bob:And they’ve been around forever.

Exactly! And I’m playing this stuff and people are like, "who’s that?" You know? People are loving me playing The Misfits. Even though a lot of the stuff……the most requested bands are like Strapping Young Lads. Have you heard them?

Jim Bob: I think so.

They got that guy that used to sing for Steve Vai’s band! And they’re huge! Well I think they’re getting huge. I like the new Voivod. I love the new Ministry, which I’ve said a million times. I like everything.

Jim Bob: How was T.S.O.L?

That’s a band I never understood why they didn’t make it big because they were just great. And you know what the fun thing is? The fun thing is I like going to a lot of old shows and that there are so many kids there. Like one of the guys I grew up with that I talk to all the time is now the singer of the Dead Kennedy’s. And they’ve just been touring and I’ve been saying, "what type of people are going to show?" And it’s just kids. Kids that have been looking at some of this old stuff and treating like it’s new. You know, I feel sorry for bands like Biohazard. They’ve been doing this rap/metal stuff….

Jim Bob: Long ago!

Why Durst isn’t writing big ass residual checks to Mike Muir is beyond me. To me it sounds like he’s ripped off a lot of shit from him.

Jim Bob: Well I guess that wraps it up.

That was safe.

Jim Bob: Feel ok?

Let me think of what things I could get in trouble for. Uh, the woman thing I was nice about….the….

Jim Bob: The Pauly Shore was great.

That’s like, picking on him is just like….I think when people make fun of him I think he sorta had it coming. I really don’t get why the big anti-Riki Rachtman thing. But, I don’t care. At least I guess it’s better than everybody saying, "who?" Oh, and people saying, "oh, he looks so different and he looked different then." So? And when I was eight I had fucking Tough Skins, and I don’t wear Tough Skins now. I saw the stupidest shit. I was watching MTV and the guys in Incubus were ripping into me. And I was like….first of all I don’t even know these guys. They’re from this rich area in the Valley. And he’s saying, "hey man, it was so funny to watch the guy on MTV because he started the show and he had long hair and he didn’t have any tattoos and then by the ending of the show he had his short, spikey hair and he was covered in tattoos.

Ok,

A: yes, I did have long hair when I started the show.

B: I didn’t have money like I did at MTV so I was getting tattoos.

Chances are, they didn’t have tattoos back then either. I did a lot of the exact same shit everybody else does but people look at it different because, "oh he’s all tattooed for the show." So are you, everybody started somewhere! Yeah I was tattooed way before I started MTV but because I had money it gave me the freedom to do…..I don’t know. It’s all goofy!

It’s music. Music is so weird. I can understand when people get mad about people that are maybe fans of a different sports team. But for people to say, "oh you don’t play this band." There’s no radio playing any good music in Southern California. I’ve got a show where I’m playing maybe one or two of the songs they like and instead of championing it and getting behind the show so the show succeeds, they’ll criticize it and say, "this show sucks. They’re not playing enough of this." Dude, I’m playing one song of Cannibal Corpse which you won’t hear on any other station, nowhere.

Jim Bob: Not with that type of wattage.

Fuck no! It’s a strong signal, I got strong ratings. I read some guy….there was a guy that I think he might have done it on your website or somebody else, that I guess has a show called "Metal Blitz." On KLSX. But he paid for the show. He show BLEW! His show totally sucked and his name was Jeff Daniel, I think. You can write this too. His show totally sucked. Nobody listened to his show. Ok? I come on, do my show, he says, "fuck Riki Rachtman. He ripped off my idea." Ok, I ripped off his idea of doing a hard rock show? "He has to pay his time. He buys the time to be on the air."

A: That’s not true. I get checks everytime I’m on the air. I don’t buy it. I don’t sell spots. I don’t do any of that shit.

"Everybody get him off the air. Does anybody want to hear another show that just plays Faster Pussycat and Warrant?" Well this little FUCK, who I don’t know, but I’ll call him a little FUCK, he used to run the Enuff Z’Nuff message board under a name J.J. Star. And I’m like, "who are you to be talking shit about…" and those are the people that end up saying shit and then I get into a fight and then I go to jail and then I lose my job again, so….obviously I should go back on meds. And go to more anger management.


Jim Bob: The Enuff Z’Nuff message board?

Something like that. Or he had a link to Enuff Z’Nuff. And he was putting down my show. You know? And I’m like, "the reason you’re not on the air is because you suck and your show sucked. That’s why." The reason that my show is on the air today, is because it’s really good! It might be off tomorrow! Put it this way, I will, even though I’ve got the syndicated show, if this show does go off the air, cause I’m on a talk station right now, so that could create a problem, I will keep doing the show somewhere. And I would turn down….I would take half of the salary if they would let me program the show cause I think I would do a really good job of programing the show. I hope. I’ll send you my playlist.

Jim Bob: That would be cool to see. You’ll have to play some Enuff Z’Nuff to honor the message board guy!

Oh God……..But people get, I’ll play some crazy, heavy shit and then I’ll play Ted Nugent song because I LOVE Ted Nugent. And people go, "what the fuck? You’re playing like classic rock?" And I go, "shut up!" I’m sorry, but Nugent is still viable, old Aerosmith is still viable.
Jim Bob: It’s got to be eclectic now.

I remember being in Hawaii and hearing a station there that played Hawaiian Ukulele music, then they played Bad Religion, and then they played En Vouge.
Jim Bob:That’s great. That always makes me happy to hear!

Well just because you don’t know what you’re going to hear. If I want to play the Cookie Monster doing the Limp Bizkit take off, I’ll play that. I personally really, really like my new show. You know, I had Ministry on this week and I was acting like a dork because I’m so excited. I’m sorry, I’m a fucking rock fan and I’m interviewing a band that I like. Maybe I should be the really cool, college critic guy and be all cool guy, but I’m sorry I’m a fucking dork, you know? You people wait at in-stores all the time. Imagine when you people wait at in-stores to meet your band, well guess what, I’m getting to do the same thing! And if it’s a band that I like, I’m going to be excited.
Jim Bob: Do you take requests and stuff?

Fuck yes! All the time.
Jim Bob: So it’s live and not taped?

Oh yea it’s live. There’s a lot of bands that I don’t like that I’ll play. I mean, I was not, and this will really get people mad, I was not the biggest Iron Maiden fan. I’ve only become an Iron Maiden fan probably recently. But I’ll definitely play the Maiden song. Probably the first song every show. Because Iron Maiden is definitely viable and I do like hearing it now. I’ll play 25 year old Judas Priest and then try to play some local stuff too. It’s just fun! I can’t wait to get back into that gross little studio and do that show because I’m just having so much fun.

Are you still there? Did you read all that? A pretty good interview in our opinion. It’s just too bad Riki didn’t talk about his new show "The Ball" on KLSX and let us know why HE didn’t play better videos on Headbanger’s Ball. (smart ass mode turned off)

Thanks to Riki for being a good sport and always backing Metal Sludge! And as always, thanks to Jim Bob for being the man!

For more info on Riki, be sure to check out Riki’s radio show "The Ball" on KLSX, 97.1, every Saturday night at Midnight.

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