20 QUESTIONS WITH…
Slaughter’s Guitarist Jeff Blando
Finally, Metal Sludge does 20 Questions with a member of Slaughter!
First Warrant and now Slaughter!
But unfortunately, it’s not Mark, Dana, or Blas. It’s Blando. And if you clicked on this interview in hopes of reading an informative 20 Questions with Slaughter’s guitarist Jeff Blando, you’re wasting your time. Go read a SludgeWire or something because we’re not gonna lie, this is totally a half assed interview. We’ve had worse, but we’ve had better. Warrant’s Jerry Dixon put way more effort into his 20 Questions then Blando did.
Here’s the story. Blando’s roadie emailed us and said that Blando wanted a Metal Sludge shirt. Of course he does, who doesn’t? We said fine, but only if Blando did 20 Questions AND put some effort into it. The roadie said ok and we sent out the questions to Blando. Well we eventually got the questions back and it’s safe to say Blando ain’t getting his shirt. He put minimal effort into these and always gave safe answers. In fact, we had to include our comments along the way just so you guys had something entertaining to read.
So here you go, a half assed interview with a member of Slaughter. Yippee.
BLANDO: Here you go mutha fuckas. Now send me my shirt!
1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your shit, so speak now or forever hold your peace!
Getting ready to go back on the road for a west coast/Hawaii run.
2 Did you get Dana?s permission to talk to us?
No, so don’t tell him I’m doing this.
3. Do you think you would have been Tim Kelly’s first choice to replace him?
Definately. Bone and I were bros.WE SAY: If he was first choice, why didn’t Bone train him for the runs to Japan instead of his long time, true friend, Dave Marshall? Dave would have been his choice but Strum wouldn’t have paid the $$$ that he would have had to pay Dave. Blando would not have even been the guitar tech for Slaughter if Tim had his way. Tim in no way wanted to lose his tech Shaggy (Chad Taylor). Strum realized that Shaggy would eventually hit him up for a raise because he was making a lot more $$$ with Warrant and Ratt who he’d go out with as stage manager (not just a tech) when Slaughter was not on the road. Scum realizing this, told Tim that they were going to have to let him go. Tim was not happy. When asking Strum why he was told ‘because Shaggy and you have gotten too close…your friends…and he doesn’t respect your requests and needs of him as a tech anymore–he doesn’t follow your orders as an employee and you being the employer’. So because Tim and Shaggy were friends…he needed to be fired? No that doesn’t make sense…what makes sense is that Strum didn’t wanna pay Shaggy what he is worth or give him the responsibility he deserved. Thus entered Blando and we know the rest of the story.
4. What’s up with Slaughter having some fans pay for their tour bus rental years ago and letting them take turns riding city to city?
Don’t know about that. That must have been a rumor that occured before I joined the band.WE SAY: No rumor! The dude not only paid for the bus, but was also made to work the crew to be able to ride on the bus. His name is Ken. To be technically correct, Ken’s mom paid for the bus, but that’s besides the point. Talk about taking advantage of your fans! What type of band would let a fan pay for their tour bus rental? We also heard about some other chicks from New England paying for the bus as well.
Don’t play stupid with us Blando, we do our homework.
5. If your road crew quit in the middle of a tour, would Blas know how to set up his own drum kit?
6. Last winter you went out with Saigon Kick and reports are that the tour didn’t exactly do that great? Do you feel responsible for the low attendance?
7. Hypothetical Question: Let?s say you were offered the chance to play for Shania Twain. Would you take the gig, or would you pass on it so you could continue to play in Slaughter and play in front a few hundred fat chicks a night and get paid shit.
Blando with his roadie Mike Nash sitting on his lap. That looks a little questionable.
8. Other then Dana Strum, which rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
Me, because I’m actually answering these questions.
9. You guys did a ton of shows with Warrant and you also did their sound for a while. Do you have any good Warrant stories to tell us? Be honest, give us something entertaining!
I plead the 5th.
WE SAY: What, he couldn’t tell us one good story? We didn’t say it had to be negative. It could have been about anything. Way to put some effort into your questions ya puss.
10. Rate the following guitarist on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who totally sucks, and 10 being a virtuoso.
Erik Turner = 9
Mick Mars = 9
C.C. DeVille = 10
Tracii Guns = 9
Warren DeMartini = 10
Zakk Wylde = 10
Eddie Van Halen = 10
Joey Allen = 8
Ace Frehley = 9
Jason Bieler = 8
Bill Leverty = 8
Dave Marshall = 8
Tim Kelly = 10
11. Besides Slaughter, what hard rock/heavy metal band should realize their best days are behind them and call it quits?
12. Does Blas have a girlfriend, and if so, approximately how many times a week does he cheat on her?
I think so, but what we do with our women is our own business, therefore we don’t kiss n tell.WE SAY: That answer is called "I’m not going to say yes or no because if I say yes, Blas won’t get any pussy on the road and all of his road chicks will get bummed, and if I say no, the girl Blas is currently hanging out with will get pissed, so I’m going to say I think so, which isn’t a concrete yes or no answer."
13. Why didn?t Slaughter just record a real live album instead of remixing studio tracks and adding a crowd, which is basically what ?Eternal Life? is?
The fans wanted a live record, so that’s what we gave them. They still bought it, didn’t they?WE SAY: No, you didn’t give them a live record, and no, not very many people at all bought it. Last we checked it didn’t even sell 15,000 copies. We can you a specific total soon though. And are you saying it’s ok to remix studio tracks and add crowd noise because fans wanted a live record? That isn’t a live record, it’s a fraud.
14. You?ve obviously heard the stories about Dana Strum being money hungry and a total dick. Were you ever worried about getting ripped off by Dana, or did you just go along for the ride?
I pay a lot of attention to what’s going on so that I DON’T get ripped off.
WE SAY: Sounds like Blando is aware of Dana’s practices.
15. How much would you typically make per show with Slaughter and what’s the biggest music related check you’ve ever received?
I make enough to pay bills and have fun. That’s all that matters, and that’s all you need to know.
16. Who has more control over Mark: Dana or Rebecca?
I think it’s pretty equal.
17. Do you actually think that is was right for Slaughter to have a sign up by their merchandise telling people if they want to meet the band, they’d have to buy some overpriced shit? And half the time you guys would sign autographs for people regardless of if they bought shit or not. So isn’t that just totally ripping the fans off?
If they buy merch, great. If not, we still meet our fans and sign shit, so what’s the big deal.WE SAY: The big deal is fraudulently leading your fans on to buy merchandise to get an autograph when it is not necessary. This is not in the best interest of a good relationship with your fans. This only leads to pissing them off.
18. When you are performing on stage have you ever thought to yourself, "Who is strangling a cat in this club?" and then realized somebody wasn’t strangling a cat, but it was only Mark singing?
Mark has a very distinct voice… that’s all I’ll say.
WE SAY: That doesn’t exactly sound like a huge endorsement from Blando.
19. Do you realize that Jimmy Page played the guitar with a bow years ago? Do you do that at a tribute to him or because you lack originality?
I lack originality and I dig Jimmy.
20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We give you a name, and you give us your thoughts.
Kevin DuBrow = bad hair piece
Mark Slaughter = my bro
Blas Elias = great hair
Firehouse = great bunch of guys
Jani Lane = great song writer
Jerry Dixon = booze and cigs
Tommy Lee = fucks some hot chicks
Rikki Rockett = cool muthafucka
Limp Bizkit = I dig em
Tracii Guns = good friend
Dana Strum = moneymaker
Since Blando didn’t plug Slaughter’s website or anything else about the band, we won’t either. The only thing we can say is that unlike their fans, he did spell everything right. Maybe he had help. Yet again, he only wrote a sentence or two, so even the dumbest Slaughter fan could probably pull that off.
Next time Blando, put some effort into it.