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20 Questions With Russ Dwarf, 10/3/00




Killer Dwarfs Singer Russ Dwarf

Some of you can probably guess how we got hooked up with Russ.  From none other than Scavenger Hunt winner Jim-Bob Dwarf, who just so happens to be the webmaster of the OFFICIAL Killer Dwarfs website!!!!  We don’t know what’s more prestigious, winning the Scavenger Hunt or being the Killer Dwarfs webmaster.   Anyways, Russ is very down with Metal Sludge, so we hit him up for 20 Questions.  Enjoy!

Killer Dwarfs 1992

1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your shit?

I’m currently a Broadway Star… oop’s wrong Canuck!  Gearing up to put my first record out, post Dwarfs. The band is called Penny Black… [http://www.pennyblack.net/. I’m also very much involved in the Killer Dwarfs website [http://www.killerdwarfs.com/ and working my goat farm of course.

2. Do you think anybody who is reading this has any idea who you are?

Do small farm animals count?

3. What hard rock/heavy metal band should call it a day?

We already did!

4. When you are talking do you say "House" or does it come out like "Hoose".

Also, does "about" come out sounding like "aboot?"

Hard to say… I was born in Canada but grew up in Jacksonville Florida… so it’s "how bout ya’ll come over ta my shack".

5. Rate the following Canadian bands on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a band that is a disgrace to Canada, and 10 being a band that makes you proud to be from the Great White North.

Is that U.S. or Canadian funds?

Slik Toxik = sept – Nick Walsh is a fine singer…

Loverboy = quatre

Rush = They Go To ONZE!

Varga = never heard of ‘em…

Triumph = sept – K-Mart Shoppers

The Tragically Hip = cinq

Big House = pardon?

Kittie = eh for effort

April Wine = dix

Crash Test Dummies = huh!

What aboot:

Anvil, Goddo, Moxy, Helix, Max Webster, Coney Hatch, Anne Murray, Stompin’ Tom, Hank Snow…

6. When the Killer Dwarfs opened up for Skid Row in 1992, how much of a dick was Sebastian Bach? Tell us a good story.

Now what kinda Candian would I’d be if I told tales in church… I know he was pissed that there was the wrong kinda back-bacon on the rider… and… then there was the time with the monkey…

7. You once co-hosted MTV’s "Headbanger’s Ball" with Rob Halford back in 1987. Did Rob make you sit on his lap or anything like whacky like that?

No, not that I remember… he was very gracious. It was an honour to meet him… he was totally cool… we shrunk him down to size and renamed him "Rob Pixie Dwarf"

8. What do you think of Metallica suing Napster?

I try not to…

9. Why has it taken Penny Black over 4 years to put out a CD?

Well, after we put the Dwarfs to bed… I started writing some tunes with a pal of mine, Dave Reaume. We took about a year or so to do that.  Then my Mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer which obviously took priority over anything else… sadly, she has since passed on… we picked up and went on after that… it was a very sad time in my life. I still miss her dearly… that’s why it’s taken so long to get this done… I just wasn’t in that big a hurry after that… some shit just don’t hold much water after something like that… don’t sweat the small stuff.

10. Rate the following Canadian women on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a mess and 10 being a hottie.

Pamela Anderson = 10

Alanis Morissette = 10

Neve Campbell = 10

Shannon Tweed = 10

Shania Twain = 10

They’re all Canadian eh! So they’re all a 10 eh.

11. You don’t really think Canada is a real country, do you?

Well let’s just have a little history lesson here… there was once a little WAR called The War of 1812… I won’t bother telling ya the details but we kicked your ass!

12. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses… would ya?  Is this a trick question? What do I win? Is "BROADWAY STAR" an option? Wow, that was a cheap shot!

13. Do you think you would have had more success if you weren’t so short?

Short! Who’s short? Suck-cess is a state of mind… like Texas or goat farming!


14. Why did you and Alice Cooper guitarist Michael Bruce get into a fight years ago?

I wouldn’t say it was a fight… he just turned out to be a wanker… let me just say that Alice Cooper "Love it to Death" to "Muscle of Love" were a major influence on me growing up… so when a friend of mine asked me to come down to this club to sing a tune with Mr. Bruce, I was there… at the time he was staying at The Cod-Father’s (Gerry Dwarf) house in Toronto… so off to the gig we go… I’m standing in the dressing room ready to meet him, when I hear him talkin’ shit about the Dwarfs… so then it’s "oh hi this is Russ Dwarf"… it was no big deal but jeez get your foot outta my ass wanker-boy… so that was my big brush with one of my childhood heroes… I went up and did "Under My Wheels"… it was a disappointment at best.

15. Did you ever see the inside of a tour bus?

Like you mean the little yellow one?

16. How did you find out about Metal Sludge and what are your thoughts of us?

From my webmaster… (he was the kid with the banjo in "Deliverance" btw). I think you guys are the most irreverent bunch of bastards I’ve ever encountered… Sludge Rules!

17. Of all the bands you guys played with, who were the biggest dicks?

I’m proud to say I never saw their dicks!

18. What’s up with you being a shareholder of Central Ontario’s largest goat farm? Is there a big market for goat milk?

Well ya don’t get paid for Rock’n Roll do ya?

19. Isn’t it true, Russty, that you are happy that Darrell’s band Laidlaw has really had no success?

I told him if they could just get on the Mike Douglas Show they’d make it BIG! BTW Lard-law is a garbage truck company in Canada… sorry Craig I didn’t have the heart to tell ya…

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.

Kevin DuBrow = not only the president

David Lee Roth = Al Jolson

Sebastian Bach = Broadway Star!

Much Music = where’s my Goat!

Warrant = I saw Fred!

Bret Michaels = look what the dog bit off!

Darrell Millar = Dogg’s Balls

Iron Maiden = Killer!

Nikki Sixx = Veteran

Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf = we don’t get television up here yet… but it’s coming!

Russ and Darrell (now in Laidlaw)

By the way, nice shirt Russ has on!

For more info on Russ, you can visit the website for his new band Penny Black, atwww.pennyblack.net

You can also go to the Killer Dwarfs website atwww.killerdwarfs.com, which just so happens to be run by none other than Scavenger Hunt Winner Jim Bob Dwarf!!

If you want a laugh, you can check out Russ’ Goat Farm athttp://www.hyperink.com/graham-burger-goats/He has a section where he shows some of the goats on his farm and all the goats are named after various rock stars.  For some reason we thought that was funny because there is nothing funnier than seeing goats named Ozzy, Lita, and Sebastian!  What can we say, goats are funny.  In fact, there’s Sebastian the Goat to your right.  It also looks like Sebastian the Goat has 2 dicks in that picture, so who knows what type of goats Russ is breeding!  Proceed with caution!

Sebastian The Goat!

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