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20 Questions with Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, 8/15/00



Howard Stern Wack Pack Member Kenneth Keith Kallenbach

Before we go any further, if you’re not familiar with Howard Stern, then cut your losses and don’t even read any farther.  Stop right now and go read the new Sludgewire or something, because you won’t understand this interview at all.  

Now for those of you who listen to Howard, you have probably heard of Kenneth Keith Kallenbach.  He originally appeared on the old Channel 9 show years ago and attempted to blow smoke out his eyes.  He’s been a Wack Pack Member ever since and even released a CD a few years ago.  

Kenneth signed our Hatebook saying he liked our page, so we hit him up for 20 Questions.  Yeah!

1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your shit!
Well I’m getting ready to go back on the Stern Show in the next couple weeks. Porn star Madelyn Night wants to marry one of the listeners and I just went and got my aids test for it and I passed. I’m also looking to front a band as a lead singer/frontman. And I have been working on my website www.kennethkeith.com a lot lately. And I just started acting school and I’ve been doing a lot of movies and tv lately.

2. Do you still live with your parents?
I have my own apt. now.

3. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
I guess none because if you already know who they are then that means they are established.

4. Do you think KC is gay?
He might be bisexual. But he gets hot looking chicks because he’s a good lookin dude. And nowadays all girls are interested in is a good lookin guys. It doesn’t matter to them how nice you are. But all the good looking chicks will say that’s not true. But it is.

Kenneth Keith Today

5. Rate the following Whack Pack members on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being totally lame and played out, and 10 being somebody cool.
Crackhead Bob = 10
Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf = 1
Captain Janks = 10
Gary The Retard = 1
Beatlejuice = 10
Fred The Elephant Boy = 10
Daniel Carver = 1
Melrose Larry Green = 10
Nicole Bass = 1
High Pitch Eric = 10

6. Name 5 Likes and 5 Dislikes:
Likes 1. Lobster 2. Shrimp 3. Chicks 4. Steak 5. Judas Priest
Dislikes 1. Jerkoff Asshole guys at appearances 2. Phoney people 3. Milk 4. Overweight women 5. Mc Donalds

Kenneth Keith & Crackhead Bob

7. What is the most money you’ve made off an appearance from being a Whack Pack member?
Me and Gary Del Abate did a personal appearance at a beer fest in New York in which I got paid 2 grand.

8. Why do you think Stuttering John can’t sell any records?
Because the music isn’t good.

9. How many copies of your CD "Yeah" have you sold? And don’t lie about it either!
Probably between 1000-2000. I really don’t know.

10. Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a bucket of shit and 10 being a hottie.
Kendra Jade = 9
Jasmine St. Clair = 9
Pamela Anderson = 9
Courtney Love = 7
Amy Lynn = 9
Angie Everheart = 9
Allison Stern = 7
Robin Quivers = 7
Robin Givens = 9
Jenna Jameson = 9
Nicole Bass = 1

11. For $5,000: Go to a gay bar and sit at the bar by yourself from 6:00 PM until closing while pretending you are gay? Would you do it?
Yes. Definitely.

12. A few years ago you were arrested for beating your girlfriend. Have you beaten any other woman lately and is Tommy Lee a hero of yours?
I was drunk and out of control at that time. I have never hit chicks and don’t plan on it.

13. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
I’m a big John Rocker fan.

14. Of all the celebrities you’ve meet, who was the biggest dick?
David Lee Roth

15. Which do you prefer:
Backstreet Boys or N’SYNC = I don’t know either one of them.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera = Christina is hotter.
Metallica or Megadeth = Megadeth: "High Speed Dirt" "Skin O My Teeth" "Angry Again" "Sweating Bullets"
Drinking Beer or Smoking Pot = Drinking beer
Bloodhound Gang or Offspring = Offspring
Penthouse or Playboy = Neither. I don’t look at porn magazines. I go for the real thing.
Jackie The Jokeman or Fred Norris = Fred Norris
Vince Neil or Bret Michaels = I never really listened to either one much so I really don’t have any comment.
Blowing smoke out of your eyes or lighting your farts on fire = Blowing smoke out of my eyes
Chip Z Nuff or Donnie Vie = I don’t know who either one of those people are.
Timmy the Cat or Java the dog = I guess Timmy the Cat because I don’t know who Java the dog is.

16. Name some porno chicks you like and name some porno chicks you hate?
I really don’t like any porno chicks except Madelyn Night because we may be getting married. Other than her I don’t care for any of them. I would only have sex with them cause their hot. But most of them (99%) are total bitches just out for money.

17. Please put the following people in order starting from the person who like the most to the person you like the least.  Your favorite person should be at the top and the person you dislike should be at the bottom.
3 Scott The Engineer
7 Gary Dell’Abate
4 Mike Gange
5 Fred Norris
2 Benjy
8 Jackie Martling
6 Ralph
10 KC
1 Robin Quivers
9 Stuttering John

18. Does a horse know if it won a race? 
How would I know?  I’m not a horse.

19. Who’s the most overrated band today?
Britney Spears, In Sync, New Kids on the Block, Back Street Boys, Garth Brooks

20. What do you remember about the following years?
1978 = My 78 buick regal with a 305 in it and it caught on fire and some dude threw beer on it to put it out and burned his arm real bad on the exhaust pipe.
1982 = I was playing baseball good.
1986 = I was smoking pot before school. And after.
1990 = I first appeared on the Howard Stern WWOR Channel 9 Show.
1994 = I nominated Howard Stern for the governor of New York up in Albany, NY
1998 = I was single again looking for chicks and striking out.

21. Are you jealous of Crackhead Bob, Gary The Retard, and Hank because they get more airtime now than you do?
It’s up to the show who they put on and who they don’t.

22. Do you realize you have absolutely no chance of having any musical success?
I have a good chance of being a great frontman/lead singer if I can find the right people to join up with. I can actually sing other people’s music really well. I’m hoping a major act like motley crue or poison or skid row or kiss or some washed up band like that, that needs a new lead singer will bring me in to revitalize the band. Have them e-mail me at www.kennethkeith.com

23. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Mancow = Sucks
Carson Daly = Probably some good looking guy that gets chicks because of his looks.
Motley Crue = I met them at 8am at a press conference in front of the Spectrum in Philly a few years ago.
MTV = I should have been a VJ on the show. And they wouldn’t put me on any of their other shows either. They are phoney.
Tommy Lee = Only gets chicks because he’s a good looking dude. The music also has a little bit to do with it but not much.
Jessica Hahn = I would do it.
Poison = I don’t listen to their music. But girls like it. So if I ever get a chance I might go see em.
Dave Grohl = He’s a cool dude. He brought me up on the Stern Show once and said he was a big fan of mine. In fact the sound clip is up on my website www.kennethkeith.com Check it out.
Metallica = They are ok. Lars e-mailed me once.
Gene Simmons = He’s cool. I met him 3 times. I met him at Scores Strip Club in New York and I met him when I did the Stuttering John Video with Melrose Larry Green and I think somewhere else. I forget.
Britney Spears = I would marry her. Tell her to go to my website and e-mail me. She’s probably only interested in good looking guys with lots of money so again I probably don’t have a chance. But you know what? Tell her anyway. Later!!!

For more info on Kenneth Keith, and who wouldn’t want more info, you can go to www.kennethkeith.com.

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