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20 Questions With Evan Seinfeld, 8/1/00

 

20 QUESTIONS WITH…

Biohazard Singer & Bass Player Evan Seinfeld

This week’s interview victim is definitely not shy and we’re sure he’ll be pissing off some people.  But he probably doesn’t give a shit one way or the other.  We hooked up with Evan last winter when he emailed Donna Anderson a picture of himself as a baby with a giant dick, which can be found Here.  He also tried to hook up with Donna and get her digits, but instead of Donna sending him her number,  we sent him off 20 Questions.  He also gave us some long ass answers and put some time into this, so for that we give him props because that’s all we ever ask.

1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your shit…
we just returned from a triumphant stomp in europe,.. germany and finland,…. where we played with maiden,.. slayer,.. machine head,… exploited,.. ignite,.. agnostic front,.. etc

our internet only available cd,.. TALES FROM THE B-SIDES…. IS OUT THIS WEEK,… WHICH CONTAINS RARITIES FROM THE SUBWAY VAULTS,…  UNHEARD SONGS,.. DEMOS,.. AND  SOUNDTRACKS,… (ALSO SOME HARD TO FIND SHIZZ)

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW WE HAVE A NEW GUITARIST,.. LEO CURLEY,.. FROM NEW YORK,…
WHO HAS ADDED A FRESH BURST OF ENERGY TO OUR LIVE SHOW,….

I HAVE ALREADY FILMED A SEASON AND A HALF OF OZ,..THERE WILL BE 16 NEW ONES IN THE CAN BEFORE ANY OF YOU SEE IT,… BUT YOU CAN SEE A PIC OF ME AND A REAL HOTTIE AT THE HBO.COM WEBSITE FOR THE "OZ" WRAP PARTY,…JAZ HOYT IS BACK,.. BADDER THAN EVER,.. SWINGIN SHANKS,… AND HIS BIG MEAT SWORD TOO!!! 

BESIDES HITTIN MY HOTTIES FULL TIME,… MY PORNO PROJECT,.. ‘THE KANGOL BROTHERS" IS IN FULL SWING,..(EXCUSE THE PUN),..MORE INFO WILL FOLLOW,… ALL I CAN SAY IS I CHALLENGE ANY BAND TO PRODUCE MORE HARDCORE PORN POLAROIDS THAN THE KANGOL BROTHERS,…


Biohazard 1993

2. Why did Rob Echeverria leave the band? Did he pussout? 
ROB WAS A GREAT GUITAR PLAYER,.. BUT HIS HEART WASN’T REALLY INTO IT,.. KINDA DISAPPOINTING IN THE END,… WATCH FOR MY MAN LEO TO STEP UP AND WRECK IT THOUGH,.. LOOKING UP!!!

3. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day? 
LET EM ALL PLAY,.. I DONT REALLY GIVE A FUCK,.. IF YOU ARE OLD AND TIRED,. YOU JUST MAKE YOUNG STUDS LIKE ME LOOK BETTER,.. PEACE TO ALL THE O.G.’S

4. How was it touring with the Insane Clown Posse?  What was the craziest thing that happened?
INDUSTRY DURING ONE TOUR,.. WHICH IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT ,.. IS ACTUALLY KINDA COOL,… THEY WERE MAD BECAUSE I GOT ALL THE BITCHES EVERY NIGHT,.. BUT THEY WEREN’T HATERS,..SOME OF THEIR CREW TRIED,.. BUT HEY,… WE CANT ALL BE THE ALPHA MALE,.. SORRY GUYS,.. BESIDES THERE’S PLENTY-O-PUSSY TO GO ROUND,…WE WOULD DO A SONG TOGETHER EVERY NIGHT AND COVER EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN SODA,.. THATS WHERE  MY USUAL NICKNAME THE "SOUPCAN",…BECAME,.. "SWEET DICK WILLIE!!"  THE WHOLE THING WAS SURREAL,.. JUGGALOS EVERYWHERE,.. LOTS OF FIGHTS,.. AND SEX,…. WHAT ELSE COULD WE WANT??

5. Would you be willing to be Chuck Zito?s bitch for a night if it ended world hunger? 
Yo, I’d take a bullet for CHUCKY,…. but I ain’t no body’s bitch.  AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PERSONALLY END  WORLD HUNGER BY  GIVING OUT MY HOT,.. NOURISHING PROTEIN SHAKES,.. AND HOT BEEF INJECTIONS TO ALL YOU "HUNGRY" LITTLE LADIES AROUND THE WORLD BESIDES,.. WITH THE CALIBER OF WOMEN I SEE CHUCK WITH,…. I’M SURE HE’S NOT INTERESTED IN ME!!

6. Of all the bands Biohazard has toured with, you were the hardest to get along with?
SLAYER….ROCK STARS,.. THEY SING ABOUT SATAN,.. AND THE HOLOCAUST,.. AND MASS MURDER,.. YET WHEN ONE OF OUR DRUNKEN FRIENDS RAN INTO THEIR DRESSING ROOM COVERED IN HIS OWN FECES,…IN AUSTRALIA,… THEY TRIED TO HAVE US KICKED OFF THE TOUR AND SAID WE WERE SICK,…I THINK THEY WERE JUST JEALOUS THAT WE GOT ALL THE PUSSY,.. IMAGINE THAT,..!!

7. Would you kiss a chick after she just gave you a blow job and swallowed your liquid kids? 
NO ,.. BUT I USUALLY VIDEO TAPE HER KISSING THE OTHER GIRL!!!

8. What the strangest request you?ve ever received from a groupie? 
ALL I’LL SAY IS IT INVOLVED A PUMPKIN,.. A JAR OF MAYONAISE,.. AND A DONKEY,….. IN SOUTH AMERICA

9. How many chicks are you typically banging per tour? 
QUALITY AND QUANTITY, WISE,…..
MORE THAN ANY OF YOU SUCKERS,.. BUT NOT FOR SELFISH REASONS,….I JUST DO IT FOR THE RESPECT OF MY PEERS,.. AND I HATE TO DEPRIVE ALL YOU COCK-CRAZED BEAUTIES WHO AREN’T GETTING ENOUGH "BIG DICK" WITHOUT ME,..!!!

10. Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1being a total pig, and 10 being a hottie.
Britney Spears  = a 4,.. but i’d fuck the fear of god into her
Pamela Anderson = definitely an 8,..love a real rocker chick
Mariah Carey = 5 loses points for fucking record execs,… i’d like to shoot  one acroos her face while she hit one of those high notes
Jennifer Lopez = 7 she’s hot,.. but america sweats her too hard because they are pretty much white people starved for good latino pussy,.. i seen hundreds of hotter latino girls way hotter than her at the puerto-rican day
parade,.. dont get me wrong,.. id hit it from the back till she called me poppy

Chyna = 6 id fuck her just too see if those pussy muscles were as  developed as those traps
Shania Twain = 8 demoted to a 4,.. i fucked her,.. she looked great,.. but couldn’t take the whole thing
Judy Jetson = 10,.. cartoon chicks rule,.. so does pocahontas and that bitch from scooby doo,… id hit jane off too
Fiona Apple = 0,… id like to piss on her though
Little Kim = 9,.. i love ‘em ghetto
Jewel = 6,. nice rack,.. but thats about it,.. i actually prefer ‘em perky and smaller as I dig my chicks hardbodied!!!


Evan & Phil Anselmo

11. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why? 
FRED DURST,… WHY NOT

12. You have to pick one of the following, which will it be? 
A. Billy Graziadei gets carjacked and gang-raped but survives; 
Or, 
B. Your left testicle gets slowly crushed in a vice. 
A, sorry billy

13. What do you remember about the following years?
1980 = SMOKING ALOT OF POT IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL,.. KISS,…JUDAS PRIEST,… GETTING LAID FOR THE FIRST TIME PLAYING BALL AND GETTING IN LOTS OF TROUBLE,..JUMPING TURNSTILES
1984 = THRASH METAL,… MAIDEN,. SLAYER,.. CARNIVORE!!!! IF YOU CANT EAT IT OR FUCK IT,.. KILL IT,.. PLAYING IN BATTLE OF THE BANDS,.. CUTTING OUT OF CANARSIE HIGH SCHOOL
EVERY  DAY AND DEALING WEED,…FUCKING LOTS OF CHICKS FROM FLATBUSH,…LOTS OF DRUNKEN FIGHTS,.. LOSING LOTS OF FRIENDS,..AND HANGIN AT L’AMOUR EVERY WEEKEND AT ALL THE POSER SHOWS,.. FUCKING ALL THE LAMORSELS

1988 = BIOHAZARD,…IS BORN,……. HARDCORE MEETS METAL WITH HIP HOP
FLAVA,..

1991 = AFTER PUTTING OUT OUR DEBUT ALBUM,…TOURED THE WORLD WITH THE EXPLOITED,.KREATOR,.. TYPE O NEGATIVE,.. AND TASTED A LOT OF STRANGE INTERNATIONAL PUSSY
1994 = warner bros. records, massive campaign for State Of The World address, Sepultura/Pantera tour in
arenas, headline everywhere. Riot at Dynamo. great year for band.

1995 = MY BEAUTIFUL SON SAMMY IS BORN
1997 = SPLIT UP WITH MY BABY’S MOMMA AND WENT OFF THE RICHTER,… PUT OUT LIVE
ALBUM,.. NO HOLDS BARRED,..GOOD TO BE SINGLE AGAIN SIGNED A RECORD DEAL WITH MERCURY WHICH WE ARE NOW OUT OF,.. "THANK GOD"

14. Who?s the most overrated band right now? 
WHO CARES,..  "ROCK" RADIO AND MTV FORCE FEED CRAP ALL DAY LONG…. I DONT REALLY LIKE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW,…EXCEPT NIN,…. THATS MY BEST FUCK CD,… IF I HEAR ONE MORE GODSMACK SONG IM GONNA PUKE,.. DOES THE WORLD SIMPLY ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THEY SUCK AND THEY BITE ALICE IN CHAINS BECAUSE NO ONE HAS ANY ORIGINALITY LEFT??? SUCKERS

15. Which of the following do you prefer? 
Pantera or Slayer = PANTERA,.. MY TRUE FRIENDS,.. AND THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO
PARTY,.. own their own titty bar

Britney Spears or Debbie Gibson = WHO CARES
Poison or Warrant = WHOEVER HAS MORE CHICKS AT THEIR SHOW FOR ME TO GET BLOWN BY!
Blow Jobs or Rim Jobs = BLOW ME,.. NUFF SAID
Backstreet Boys or New Kids On The Block = THEY ARE ALL FAGS,. I CAN’T DIFFERENTIATE
David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar = CMON,.. NO CONTEST,. MY PAISAN DIAMOND
DAVE,.. A FELLOW JEW!!!

Twisted Sister or Kiss = KISS,.. THE REASON I WANTED TO BE A ROCKSTAR…
Tommy Lee?s Tats or Nikki Sixx?s tats = SAME ARTIST,.. BUT GOTTA SAY NIKKI,… LOVE TOO FAST FOR LOVE BY THE WAY!!!!

16. You claim to be from the streets, however a lot of people say you grew up in a nice area on Long Island
and come from money. What?s up with that? What?s the real deal? 
I WAS BORN IN BROOKDALE HOSPITAL IN EAST NEW YORK BROOKLYN,…(WHERE MIKE TYSON WAS BORN) MY FAMILY LIVED IN MIDWOOD,.. FLATBUSH AND THEN I GREW UP MY WHOLE LIFE
IN CANARSIE,…BROOKLYN,.. WHERE I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AND MADE MY BONES,(ME
AND DANNY WERE JAMMING IN HIS BASEMENT IN THE EARLY 80’S,.. WE ONLY WENT TO
LONG ISLAND TO FUCK CHICKS AT SPIT AND SUNDANCE)…. I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE TO ANYONE,…CHECK THE YEARBOOK FAGGOTS… MY PARENTS MOVED TO LONG ISLAND WHEN I WAS ABOUT 19,.. BUT I HAD ALREADY BEEN ON MY OWN FOR A FEW YEARS,… THE KIDS WHO TALK MAD YANG ABOUT ME ARE JUST JEALOUS OF A BIG DICK NIGGA,.WHO FUCKED ALL THEIR GIRLS. AND ARE ALL JERSEY KIDS WHO CLAIM TO REPRESENT NEW YORK HARDCORE,.. OR FRUSTRATED,.. NO PUSSY GETTING WEAK DUDES,. WITH NO GAME…MAD CUZ I SOLD MAD RECORDS WHEN MY SON WAS BORN,.. I LIVED ON THE ISLAND FOR 3 YEARS SO HE
WOULDN’T HAVE  TO GROW UP IN THE HOOD,…AS FOR MONEY,.. MY PARENTS ARE BOTH RETIRED BROOKLYN SCHOOLTEACHERS WHO WORKED VERY HARD AND I’M  VERY PROUD OF,.. I GET MY MONEY FOR NOTHING AND MY CHICKS FOR FREE THE IRONY IS,.. THE SAME WEAK DUDES,.. WHO TRY TO DISCREDIT ME HAVE NEVER STEPPED TO ME,.. CUZ THEY KNOW THEY WILL CATCH A BAD ONE,….MAYBE THE BROOKLYN TATTOO ACROSS MY STOMACH IS REMOVABLE,…??? I AM CURRENTLY RESIDING IN ASTORIA QUEENS AT ,MY SWINGING BACHELOR PAD IN THE TRADITION OF NOT FUCKING ANYTHING TWICE,.. I HAD TO MOVE THE THE NEXT BORO!!!

17. Have you or anyone you known ever stolen a hubcap? 
YES,. AND WE USED TO SELL THEM TO PUGGS JUNKYARD ON FLATLANDS AVE,… AND USE
THE MONEY FOR  WEED WHEN MY MOM’S GOT STOLEN,.. I USED TO GO THERE AND GET ‘EM BACK FOR HER,. FOR FREE,. AS I WAS A PREFERRED CUSTOMER,..MUCH PREFERRED STELING CARS IN THEIR ENTIRETEY THOUGH

18. As of January, "New World Disorder" has sold about 40,000 copies in the US. Are you guys happy with that
or were you expecting it to sell more? 
NWD IS HAS ALREADY SOLD 1/4 OF A MILLION WORLDWIDE,.. CHECK YER FACTS AND STOP HATING,…. IM FINE WITH OUR SALES,.. MERCURY SLIPPED,.. BUT THATS WHY WE FIRED THEM.,.. AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T AFFECT HOW MUCH ME AND MY BEST FRIEND DREW STONE GET BLOWN,…… I DONT REALLY GIVE A FLYING FUCK

19. You guys had a song on an old demo called ?America? and during the chorus the chant is ?American
Nazi Pride.? What was up with all that? You guys played it back when you played at L?Amour and opened
for Carnivore. Were you guys trying to capitalize on the somewhat racist crowd that the whole Carnivore
scene attracted? 
YES,.. IT WORKED DIDN’T IT

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts. 

Kid Rock = BIG UPS FOR FUCKING JAMES KING REPRESENTED BACKSTAGE AT MANY A BIO GIG IN DETROIT BACK IN THE DAY
Chuck Zito = A FELLOW BROTHER OF OZ,.. MY FAVORITE PERSON TO GO TO SCORES WITH,… NO MAN COMMANDS MORE RESPECT ON EARTH THAN CHUCK ZITO,… I KEEP HIS NUMBER HANDY IF SHOT EVER GOT OUTTA HAND,.. THAT’S MY BIG BRO!
Onyx = MY BOYZ FROM THE USG,….SLAMMEED WITH US ON JUDGEMENT NIGHT
Tommy Lee = INSPIRED THE KANGOL BROTHER’S PHOTO JOURNAL BY SHOWING US POLAROIDS OF HO’S GETTIN IT ON WHILE WE WERE BOTH RECORDING ALBUMS AT A  AND M
STUDIOS,  HOLLYWOOD

Howard Stern = LISTENED TO HIM ON AM BACK IN THE DAY,..HE WOULD BE SHOOK IF
HE SAW MY HOME PORNO CUMSHOT HIGHLIGHTS VIDEO

Phil Anselmo = MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER,.. PHILIP ALSO HAS A MASSIVE TOOL
Sebastian Bach = THAT’S MY MOTHERFUCKIN MAN,, HE IS CRAZY,.. BUT EVERYONE HATES ON HIM CUZ HE FUCKS MORE THAN THEM,….HIS WIFE IS MAD HOT
Poison = ?
Limp Bizkit = DJ LETHAL IS MY BOY,… THOSE GUYS TOOK A STYLE WE PIONEERED TO A
HUGE COMMERCIAL LEVEL
Peter Steele = GETS ALL MY LOVE AND RESPECT,…WE HUNG SINCE I WAS 15 IN BROOKLYN AND ARE STILL TIGHT TODAY,.. A MUSICAL GENIUS AND A TRUE PURVEYOR OF GOOD PUSSY TOO,… I ROADIED FOR HIM WHEN HE WAS IN CARNIVORE,…MAD RESPECT FOR DOING THE PLAYGIRL SHOOT TOO!!!

HEY DONNA,.. WHO WROTE THESE QUESTIONS,.. YOUR PLAYER-HATER BOYFRIEND???

No Evan, Donna’s player hater boyfriend didn’t write these questions, the player-haters at Metal Sludge wrote these questions, namely us!  

For more info on Biohazard, you can go to www.biohazard.com.  The page might be down right now though, so you might be SOL.

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