SLUDGEWIRE FOR 1/28/05
The polls are over and round one of SludgeWire Idol is complete! (For the SludgeWire Idol introduction, click here.) So enough hullabaloo; here’s the results of last week’s voting:
|SludgeWire Idol – Round One|
Total votes 1475
|Baz Von Poley (250)||17%|
|Clifford "Junior" Newsted (112)||8%|
|Doro Jett (204)||14%|
|Jet Boy George (142)||10%|
|Josie Hilton (430)||29%|
|Lord Satyr Filth (337)||23%|
So Josie Hilton comes in first with a significatnt lead, whie Clifford "Junior" Newsted comes in dead last. So that would mean that Clifford gets the boot this week, right?
Well, naturally, there is always drama associated with a competition like this. It appears that Baz Von Poley tried to bribe Donna Anderson with a complete set of Enuff Z’Nuff CDs and $50 in cash. That’s not in the spirit of fair competition and we can’t have that, so Baz automatically gets disqualified, giving Clifford another shot. Though we suspect that Donna kept the CDs and cash anyway.
This is also going up late this week because Doro Jett got into a fight at a biker bar the other night. She smashed a bottle over someone’s head and punched a few people out, and even though they probably deserved it, she was ‘detained’ for a few days and couldn’t get her SludgeWire commentary in on time. So we waited for her, and now here it is.
Joining us today for round two of SludgeWire Idol are Clifford "Junior" Newsted (CJN), Doro Jett (DJ), Jet Boy George (JBG), Josie Hilton (JH), and Lord Satyr Filth (LSF). As with round one, it’s up to you to pick who will make it to round 3, and who will get the boot this week. Remember to vote for your favorite newbie SludgeWire commentator at the end of the post! Let’s get it on, shall we?
THE WILDHEARTS frontman Ginger has confirmed to Metal Hammer that he has joined BRIDES OF DESTRUCTION as the band’s second guitarist.
Although there was some speculation that Ginger was unhappy with THE WILDHEARTS’ reunion shows and was planning to disband the group once again, he told Metal Hammer that nothing could be further from the truth.
"I’m not leaving THE WILDHEARTS!" he laughed. "You can’t ‘leave’ THE WILDHEARTS ? it’s a movement, it’s thousands of people! I just need a break, for personal reasons ? a break from the U.K. and a break from THE WILDHEARTS. I was going to get a flight to Melbourne and do nothing for a while, but Tracii Guns rang me out of the blue and asked if I fancied going out on the road with BRIDES OF DESTRUCTION. It was a massive coincidence, but perfect for me, incredible timing."
Ginger flew to Los Angeles yesterday to rehearse with the band and to assist in the songwriting process for the band’s second album before setting off on the U.S. dates in March.
"I’ll be seeing lots of old friends ? Matt Sorum [VELVET REVOLVER, ex-GUNS N’ ROSES] is an old mate ? and then there’s Lemmy [MOTÖRHEAD] and Dave Grohl [FOO FIGHTERS] just around the corner, and I’ll be making music and recording with old friends and new."
Also joining the group is Scott Sorry, ex-AMEN bassist, who replaces MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Nikki Sixx.
CJN: When I heard that Ginger was signing on to be part of the Brides, I thought they meant Ginger from the old Gilligan’s Island show. I think they happen to catch Ginger at a vulnerable time, kinda like getting some pussy from a chick when she’s on the rebound. Scott "Sorry," you can’t replace a rock & roll legend like Nikki Sixx. Keep his seat warm in the studio & bunk warm on the tour bus… he might be back sooner than you think!
DJ: Obviously, Ginger is studying at the feet of Nikki "lie & deny" Sixx. But at least he’s being honest enough about the lack of following BOD has when he refers to the "thousands of people" who are Wildhearts fans.
JBG: Scott Sorry will be replacing NIkki Sixx? Who the fuck is Scott Sorry? He’s got some big shoes to fill. I’m "Sorry" to say guys, but even Ginger can’t save you. Better call up Phil Lewis and get that LA Guns reunion happening Tracii.
JH: Ginger is part of a movement all right, a fucking bowel movement. That’s the only reason I see for Ginger to take time off from the The Wildhearts for BOD. How long do you think he’s going to last? I hear his replacement list includes Keri Kelli, Zim Zum, a monkey with epilepsy, and the John 3:16 guy with the rainbow wig.
LSF: Obviously Ginger forgot to look at the soundscan numbers for his last CD or he would not have said thousands. While I’m here, if there ever was a more perfect name to be in this band, Sorry is it.
JUDAS PRIEST will be embarking on a Japanese tour in late April/early May, immediately following the group’s European trek. Exact cities and dates will be announced soon.
PRIEST have yet to announce their U.S. tour plans but it is expected that they will be scheduling a headlining run in the summer. Among the rumored support acts for the trek are QUEENSR?CHE, DIO and BLACK LABEL SOCIETY.
JUDAS PRIEST’s new album, "Angel of Retribution" (view cover here) is scheduled for release on March 1 via Epic Records.
Singer Rob Halford’s first album with the band in 15 years, "Angel of Retribution" was produced by Roy Z, who has previously worked on solo albums from Halford and IRON MAIDEN’s Bruce Dickinson. The set will be bundled with a concert DVD shot in a bullring in Valencia, Spain.
Epic will celebrate the reunion of the "Painkiller"-era JUDAS PRIEST lineup by issuing a DualDisc (a two-sided disc made up of a CD player side and a DVD player side) for the "Angel of Retribution" title.
CJN: I’m geeked about this record & the tour! Wait a minute. Did they just say Queensryche as an opening act?! I would have been jumping up & down like a little bitch at the ticket line for the next Simple Plan show… if this were 1988! The shell of a once progressive band like Queensryche is no more. They are to Progressive Metal what David Lee Roth is to rock n’ roll these days. A glorified lounge act! Remember Geoff Tate, you melon headed motherfucker, you said a number of months ago, "we were never really metal?" Damage control. Maybe Eddie Jackson will do a Rewind next?! Little man Dio still has the Magic. BLS?! I could careless about seeing Zakk’s solo project. Would it really kill this guy to bathe?!
DJ: A DualDisc? Goes both ways? Hm, wonder why they thought THAT would be appropriate….
JBG: Epic will also be celebrating Rob Halfords coming out of the closet with a best of Judas Priest called "Point of Entry" with lyrics changed to better fit Robs Life style, including such tracks as "Heading out to the Hershey Highway" and "Ram it Down My Throat."
JH: I believe Halford is really looking forward to seeing the Japanese "sights," but I’m afraid he’s going to come up a little "short," if you know what I mean.
LSF: Is it me or is Blabbermouth getting lazy and posting the same bullshit over and over again?? Did I not read this last week? I am going to start dreaming about a dual layered disc, I swear. Just put it out already.
Launch Radio Networks is reporting that METALLICA frontman James Hetfield said "Metallica: Some Kind of Monster", the 2004 documentary about the turbulent making of the group’s last album, "St. Anger", with its revealing scenes of band arguments and therapy sessions, is still difficult for him to watch. "First couple times it was difficult," he said. "There are certain scenes in the film that will always be difficult. You know, the fighting scenes ? they’re always pretty difficult. They always start to get your heart pumping again, and it makes sense ’cause it pushes a certain button in me, and everyone’s got those buttons."
The DVD version of "Metallica: Some Kind of Monster" is scheduled for release today (Jan. 25). As if the original 140-minute film wasn’t enough, the two-disc DVD is filled with extras. Among its 28 deleted scenes are more bass player auditions, a longer version of drummer Lars Ulrich’s therapy session with former METALLICA guitarist Dave Mustaine, and footage from a live show with producer Bob Rock playing bass before METALLICA hired Robert Trujillo.
"Some Kind of Monster" also resulted in a book, "Metallica: This Monster Lives", written by co-director Joe Berlinger.
METALLICA are currently taking time off but hopes to begin working on a new album later this year.
CJN: They got my money. I bought this. Metallica are well on their way to becoming the second coming of KISS. Just when you think, "I’m done with them," they put something out that pokes at one’s immediate gratification… I can’t wait to see Mustaine & Larz having their homo moment… You can begin to count the minutes until Mustaine snaps & busts out some smack via his website…
DJ: So "Some Kind of Monster" is difficult for Metallica to watch? That’s ok, "St. Anger" is difficult for most Metallica fans to listen to. Fair is fair.
JBG: Also included on the DVD extras is an in-depth cave exploration, spelunking documentary called "Exploring the craters of Hetfield’s face."
JH: Tough to watch? How do you think we felt? And you sure didn’t fucking care that St. Anger was "tough to listen to" did you? One scene not included: Lars personally stopping a 10-year-old girl from downloading Metallica songs. Sadly, the girl was 3 inches taller than Lars.
LSF: bastard boy floyd burned this for me just yesterday and then tied me up and made me watch this shit. Just for shits and giggles, a monster is something that is scary, not a few pussies sitting around whining to each other, thanks.
A New York federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit brought against rock band MEGADETH and its founder/lead singer/lead guitarist DAVE MUSTAINE. The suit, filed in July 2004 by the band’s long-time bassist, Dave Ellefson, alleged that Ellefson was entitled to a greater share of the band’s profits than he was paid. U.S. District Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald of New York, N.Y., ruled on January 13, 2005 that Ellefson has no valid claims against Megadeth, Dave Mustaine or anyone else, holding that Ellefson had entered into a valid settlement agreement with the band in May 2004, and released all of his claims in that agreement. Ellefson alleged in his suit that the settlement agreement was unenforceable – a claim the federal court soundly rejected. "This lawsuit should never have been brought," stated Megadeth’s attorney Charles J. Harder of Lavely & Singer in Los Angeles. "The federal court has now confirmed that Dave Ellefson’s claims against Megadeth and Dave Mustaine are completely unfounded. The court’s ruling confirms that Ellefson had no business trying to get more money from the band by filing a frivolous lawsuit. The band’s managers Kevin Gasser and John Dee said, "We could not be happier with the result." Dave Mustaine has declined to comment.
CJN: Junior, this makes about as much sense as Eric Singer suing KISS! You didn’t write very much — bhardly anything really. I think the only reason there was "some" credit givin to you was because Dave felt sorry for you, or was so out of his mind that he credited you for the two bars you came up with on bass! Come on now, the lawsuit was thrown out. You lost. Mustaine: 3, Ellefson: 0.
DJ: Dave Mustaine declining to comment when he WON? That’s as big of a shock as hearing that Gene Simmons is suing someone.
JBG: Dave Mustaine has declined to comment due to the fact that he will say something stupid.
JH: I’m all for booting out frivolous lawsuits, but I’d think Dave would show a little compassion; after all, he knows how it feels to regret a decision.
LSF: Saw Dave Jr. at NAMM last Sunday and I could tell he lost as he was packing up the booth at Peavy while Marty was over at Ibanez signing autographs. That must have been a hard one to swallow.
KISS bassist/vocalist GENE SIMMONS’ official website (www.genesimmons.com) has been updated with a link leading to information regarding a 1980 martial arts movie from Hong Kong where the villain wears makeup very similar to Gene’s demon makeup. Check it out www.livejournal.com. When asked via a fan posting at his site whether he plans to sue over this, Gene responded, "Wait and see!"
CJN: Villians wearing make up. So it’s like KISS! Better sue them for slander too, Gene!
DJ: Uncle Gene is trademarking the colors black and white next, I hear. And the name Dave.
JBG: The funny thing is the guy wearing the make-up is the lead singer of EZO, the band Gene Simmons signed and produced.
JH: Speaking of frivolous lawsuits? After he wins this, I hear Gene plans on suing the producers of "Backdraft" for using fire.
LSF: Gene, it took you 25 years to figure this one out? You aren?t that sharp, are you?
Lisa Frydman from the Suntimes.com spoke to rocker TED NUGENT recently regarding his recent Persian Gulf tour with country star TOBY KEITH. "The tour was a gargantuan reminder of why I’m such a patriot," Nugent stated. "Those who think the war is not the answer are mentally ill. War is how good stops evil. There’s no Plan B here, folks. No negotiating with intruders. Toby and I were in and out of every little outpost in Afghanistan and Iraq. It was wonderful, a ‘Ted Fest’ day and night with the soldiers. Hey, I think I’m the first USO celeb to carry his own machine gun and ammo."
CJN: Ted is being Ted. Do you expect politically correct & articulate commentary when you talk to him? Ted was set up! Trust me, there are people that share the same beliefs as Ted, who just happens to be an outspoken right winger! Yeah I said Winger! Honestly if Ted was in Iraq, guns or no guns, he’d run like a Mexican running from "La Migra."
DJ: And those who buy Ted Nugent records are also considered "mentally ill." Go figure.
JBG: Reading this post is "a gargantuan reminder" of why Ted Nugent should be taken to a taxidermist, have his head stuffed, and then mounted over a urinal in Dennys.
LSF: Ted carried his own machine gun and ammo and we are still at war? I thought Ted was this aggressive gun toting maniac. I?d have thought they would have surrendered and went home at the mere sight of Ted?s machine gun and loin cloth.
OZZY and SHARON OSBOURNE are still so shaken after having their British country home burgled last year (November 22nd), they’re recruiting a permanent housesitter. Thieves snatched jewellery worth in excess of $3.8 million (GBP 2 million) in a 4am raid on their Buckinghamshire, England, mansion.Ozzy grappled with one of the raiders, but was unable to prevent him escaping. Following their harrowing ordeal, Sharon is looking to shake up security by hiring a specialist to guard the $5.7 million (GBP3 million) property 24 hours a day. A friend of the family says, "Sharon wants a housesitter but not just anyone. She wants someone who’s able to handle themselves. "It would really let her feel safe when she comes home on her own."
CJN: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ…. Oh fuck! Sorry — I was suppose to comment on this. She wants someone who’s able to handle themselves? Woah. Isn’t that what she said to Randy Rhoads before she seduced him?! There’s an image that will burn deep into your skull… Yuck. Ozzy, watch out — there is life after menopause & it doesn’t include you!
DJ: Maybe she should hire the Nuge. After all, he carries his own machine gun and ammo….
JBG: Sharon has reportedly hired actor Macaulay Culkin after his heroic performance in Home Alone to guard the property.
JH: They should just hire Kelly. All she would have to do is sing and the intruder would run, and if all else failed, she could sit on them.
LSF: Damn, I break out of the basement one day and it makes headlines. Did I just say that?
Ex-PRETTY BOY FLOYD bass player Lesli Sanders has informed BW&BK that he and ex-guitarist Chad Taylor have a new band called PROPHETS OF ADDICTION. They say the material "is sounding really cool we have recorded one song for a compilation and are working on more now."
CJN: WTF?! You can’t be serious here. First the Ozzy & Sharon story & now this?! You’re not giving us much to work with eh?! I hear the former band members of Bang Tango are pissed. It seems they would like them to change their name as it sounds too close to their new band’s name… "Profit in Addition." I can’t wait for the next update where one of these two masterminds hires Ellefson’s legal counsel…..
DJ: By the year 2008, everyone in Hollywood will have been a member of Pretty Boy Floyd, so that’s not exactly the best resume you could have, I’m thinking. Although it just might be enough to get you to the head of the employee line at McDonald’s.
JBG: Bass player Lesli Sanders said they band will be doing a showcase for Perris Records sister label Shit Records later this month. Guitarist Chad Taylor commented saying "that after playing with Pretty Boy Floyd we knew that Shit Records was the home for us."
JH: Don’t get me wrong, I’m all excited to hear the new songs and all, but the name "Prophets of Addiction" couldn’t be more accurate. Well, unless they went with "Prophets of Stank." Isn’t Chad the guitar player?
LSF: How about we just stop at that one song and call it a day, huh? Better yet, erase the tape that song is on and we will pretend this never happened, ok? I mean, PBF have not exactly lit up sales charts in the last 17 years they have been around and now the half ass hired guns of this band are ?making a go of it??
RHINO BUCKET vocalist/guitarist Georg Dolivo has issued the following message via the band’s official website (www.rhinobucket.com): "Just hanging around and making music is what we’re doing… There will be a Rhino Bucket album in 2005! I can’t wait, as this is the best line-up we’ve ever had. Oh, by the way, (lead guitarist) Brian (Forsythe) started his own website and if you want to check it out go to: http://www.brianforsythe.com . Anyway, I’m working this weekend so no fun for Georg but don’t let that stop you from being an ass on the message boards so go to it. Cheers, Georg."
CJN: Wasn’t Brain Forsythe painting billboards for a living? It’s great to see he’s "movin’ on up!"
DJ: Funnily enough, if you go to the Rhino Bucket site now, Georg is apologizing for his "make an ass of yourself" comments. "I mean it in the same way when I ask my son, ‘Are you dumb?’ I certainly do not think he’s dumb, I made sure he knows this." Obviously, the son is a genius and it must be hereditary.
JBG: After you’re done being an ass on their message board, don’t forget Georg will be working this weekend at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles so come down and be an ass to him and the staff.
LSF: Just how long does it take to make a fucking Rhino Bucket CD? Did you not get back together 4 years ago to make one or am I wrong? Better yet, who cares about a Rhino Bucket CD anyway? And while I’m here, who cares about these bands here anyway? What is with all of these wimpy bands anyway? Where are the black metal bands and their news updates?
MOTLEY CRUE fan site www.ScrueYou.com has made the brand new VINCE NEIL single ‘Promise Me’ available here. When speaking with The Edmonton Sun last year, Vince had the following to say about his new single: "It’s a song called ‘Promise Me’, written by Desmond Child, so obviously it’s a pretty f—ing cool song. It doesn’t sound like Motley. It sounds like, I don’t know, it kinda has a U2 feel." Although Neil filmed a video for ‘Promise Me’ this past October in Las Vegas at the Palms Casino hotel pool, a release date for the single, or Vince’s upcoming solo album, have yet to be announced.
CJN: Vince, just "Promise Me" I won’t ever have to hear this sappy watered-down Bon Jovi wanna be song on your solo tour! That’s right, it’s all retread Motley material!
DJ: The video would have been more true-to-life if it were filmed at one of the casino buffets, but you can’t just assume it’s a "fucking cool song" when it comes from someone who was at least partially responsible for "I Was Made for Loving You". Even if he did have Butch Walker play on his solo album.
JBG: Yeah, it kinda sounds like U2 if they wrote a shitty song and traded Bono for a no talent ass clown.
JH: I didn’t get a U2 feel from it. I got more of The Troggs "Love Is All Around" kind of vibe, but it did leave me with a rather warm tingley sensation. I likey!
LSF: I know when this video is aired, all of the Glam boys here will drag me up from the basement and make me watch this video with them and I pray that Vince is wearing a shirt. Don?t you ever go to the pool and there is this one guy walking around who really needs a shirt on and every one is afraid to tell him? Oh, Vince releasing a solo CD is about as important as me farting.
So there it is! The candidates have completed the second round of the SludgeWire commentary competition. Now it’s time for our judges to give their feedback about this round. Here they are.
Dana Brittingham: A much more valiant effort this week from Clifford "Junior" Newsted, who threw out some insulting one-liners and didn’t hold back nearly as much as he did last week. Josie Hilton seemed to step it up a notch too, so I can’t say that I wasn’t impressed with her commentary. Good job. I feel bad that Doro Jett had a rough week, and I think it’s reflective in her performance this time around. Hopefully she can stay out of bar fights long enough to make it to round 3 of SludgeWire Idol. I felt that Jet Boy George, for some reason, was the one holding back this week, but I’m all whacked on crystal so I could have overlooked something. And lastly, the always disgusting LordSatyrFilth did not disappoint this week, though I’m still afraid to say anything negative about his SludgeWire contributions — especially after seeing what he did to that goat carcass in the basement last week. Fucking vile.
Donna Anderson: I’m only mentioning the worthy contestants this round because I have to make it snappy… I have a gyno appointment in an hour. I believe that the majority of you came out stronger this week than last week, although it was kind of hard to tell with Floyd sitting beside me making that noise he does with the back of his throat. GOD DAMNIT FLOYD, WOULD YOU FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF? It’s bad enough when you follow me to the staff lunch room EVERY DAY and you sit across from me and stare at me and make those gross fucking noises while I’m trying to fucking eat! And Jani knows you’ve been wiping your boogers under the table too. Oh my God did you just fart? I’m gonna fucking vomit. Doro Jett, you stayed consistent, you didn’t "try too hard" and went with the flow. I like that. Josie Hilton, you seemed to open up a little more this round and it showed, good job. GOD DAMNIT FLOYD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! would you PLEASE QUIT MAKING THAT FUCKING NOISE!!!!!! LordSatyrFilth, You seemed to hold back a little this round, why? I mean.. You still scare the living fuck out of me. By the way… Did you write this note and leave it in my office? "Roses are red, violets are blue… I’ll chop your head off and fuck your corpse… if you wanted me to." Um, that was very sweet of you. Thank you for the pig heart as well, Floyd came in to borrow my stapler and I haven’t seen it since.. He never returned my stapler either. Jet Boy George, I think you definitely came out the strongest this week.. you had some good comments and I look forward to seeing what you’ve got next week, it’s unfortunate that it’s not one of my tits in your hand but I’ll get over it. Floyd, get your hand off my leg before I take off my platform and beat the pigtails off your fucking head!
bastard boy floyd: whooooooooooooooooooo! That’s all I really have to say this week. Deal with it.
Our panel of judges has spoken, but don’t listen to them — it’s up to YOU to decide who did the best in this week’s SludgeWire! So please take a second to vote using the poll below. Whoever gets the least amount of votes will be kicked out of the competion and will drift in SludgeWire obscurity while all the other paticipants battle it out for the title of SludgeWire Idol!
The polls will stay open from now until we feel like taking them down. So don’t fuck around… VOTE NOW!