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A Pulled-it-out-of-our-ass Sludgewire for 10/20/04

 

A PULLED-IT-OUT-OF-OUR-ASS SLUDGEWIRE FOR 10/20/04

Yes, we know we are way the fuck behind on posting SludgeWires, so we finally took time out of our busy schedules of doing nothing to put this together. We promise that starting this week, we’ll go back to doing a SludgeWire once a week.

Of course, we’ve been wrong about that before. At least we have the intention of doing this once a week, so take what you can get, bucko.

We’ve called this a "Pulled-it-out-of-our-ass SludgeWire" for good reason, and here’s why: Normally, we pass SludgeWires around to everyone on the staff until we’re happy with our comments and think they’re good enough to put up. This time, we’re all just going to shit out the first thing that comes to mind whether it’s good or bad. So this could be really cool, or it could be really fucking lame. You just never know with these things.

The only contributors we could round up on a moment’s notice today are Jani Bon Neil, bastard boy floyd, Taime "Sex" Slaughter, and we even got a few random comments from everyone’s favorite Ho, Donna Anderson! That’s who’s lending their commentary today, so deal with it.

In the spirit of the current race for the U.S. Presidency, let’s start with something political! Here’s a really strange press release we received.

FOR IMMEADIATE RELEASE

Rock ‘N’ Roll Party Announce Presidential Candidate

In their on going attempt to further subvert, destroy and corrupt , in a manner much more direct and effectual than either the Democraps or Repube-lickers, The Rock ‘N’ Roll Party proudly announce AntiProduct singer and frontman, A. Product, as their candidate for President of The United States, the "highest" office in the world!

Now living in London, England, A. Product builds a distinguished looking platform on half-truths and non-research, just like all other politicians. He understands the little people and how to climb over them to get to where he wants, just like all other politicians. A. Product is a man of no moral fiber what so ever, just like…! A. Product is no less stupid than the other candidates! A. Product admits to getting down with strippers, and is actually proud of it and his penis AND enjoys talking about it.

Among A. Product’s Platform Points:

*Mandatory Plastic Surgery for all California residents over 16 (You mean this isn’t already a law?)
*PMS will be punishable by death
*All goods that are a waste of your, the consumer’s, money will bear a W.O.M. (Waste of Money) sticker. Last two Matrix movies, last 4 Metallica LPS, anything with/about Steven Seagal, lawyers, etc… W.O.M. sticker!
*Put Big Business’ interests at the heart of American politics. Let’s face it, they do know what’s best. Look at how much safer the world is since the War on Terror (copyright 2003 GWB Corp) began.

A. Product is a politician with the strength and energy to believe in our system and defend it right or wrong. With the drive of an insane madman bent on ruling the world, A. Product’s philosophy for all of us, regardless of race, creed, or religion is, "God told me I’m right!"

So, if you were to vote for a politician, wouldn’t you vote for a politician who was AGAINST crime, pollution, terrorism, taxes, unemployment, and poverty and FOR schools, safety, the family, the environment, our side, the good guys, the American way ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!!!

On November 3rd, or something, vote A. Product For America.

"It’s the right thing to do!"

For complete platform details, media coverage, body fluids, filth and propaganda, visit www.antiproduct.com.

The following has been a paid political announcement by the Rock ‘N’ Roll Party and People For Product.

That’s not all, here’s a scan from the UK mag "PlayMusic" which ran an article about A. Product’s candidacy!

This is either some lame self-promotional stunt and blatant cry for media attention that AntiProduct is trying to pull, or it’s a work of satirical comedic genius. Well, we’ve always liked stuff that makes no sense, so this whole "Rock ‘N’ Roll Party" campaign might call for a little more investigation on our part.
Who the fuck is A. Product? I thought that AntiProduct outfit had that Alex Kane guy from Life Sex and Death in it. Did they kick him out or something?
Now I remember why we don’t usually let Floyd do SludgeWires.

From ElectricBasement:

MOTORHEAD have re-recorded their track "You Better Run", now baring the title "You Better Swim", for the soundtrack for the upcoming SpongeBob SquarePants animated film. The film will be in theaters on November 19th with the soundtrack hitting stores on Tuesday, November 9th.

WTF? How did Lemmy end up on this? The only common thread, other than maybe a lot of crabs, is that SpongeBob actually lives in a place called Bikini Bottom and Lemmy’s mole has visited many bikini bottoms.
MOTORHEAD tunes in animated films = new clothes for Lemmy. Yay!
Uh, someone in Motorhead’s camp needs to hire a proofreader ASAP!
I like SpongeBob SquarePants, but I REALLY like that "Unfabulous" show that Nick’s got on right after SpongeBob. That Addie chick is kind of hot!
Ewwww, Floyd, you perv! That chick is like 12!
So? I was just looking. Plus she’s Julia Roberts’ niece, so she may turn out to look like her aunt someday. What can I say? I have high aspirations when it comes to the chicks I stalk.


(Press Release) QUIET RIOT, the band who introduced the world to their groundbreaking #1 selling album "Metal Health," are back after an eighteen month absence. Driven by vocalist KEVIN DUBROW, powered by drummer FRANKIE BANALI, both Quiet Riot founding members, the band is now fueled by longtime Quiet Riot contributing bassist Chuck Wright and energized with Beautiful Creatures’ guitarist Alex Grossi to bring you their prescription for Metal Health.

Quiet Riot have entered into an equitable and legal agreement with bassist RUDY SARZO, now with Dio, making it possible for the continuation of the group. Former guitarist CARLOS CAVASO has chosen not to participate. Everyone concerned wishes each other continued success.

Quiet Riot will be releasing their first ever official live CD Quiet Riot Live & Rare in January 2005. It will include tracks from their 1983 Metal Health tour and the 1984 Condition Critical tour as well as three rare 1981 "demo" tracks for their "Metal Health" release.

Alex Grossi is in Quiet Riot? What the hell happened to Cavazo? And what the hell is going on in Beautiful Creatures? They?re going thru guitarists at a rate that makes the axe slinging gig in Warrant & LA Guns look stable.


…CINDERELLA frontman TOM KEIFER recently recorded an acoustic version of the band’s hit "Don’t Know What You Got (Til it’s Gone)" for upcoming VH1 Immortal CD titled Stripped. Record will consist of unplugged versions of power ballads from the 80’s. Record is scheduled for release at the end of the year…Frontiers Records will release the second album from THE SIGN entitled The Second Coming for November 22nd 2004 in various territories around the world…

GAF!
…and the crowd goes mild! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before. It’s brilliant. Here’s the concept: you just take a regular song and re-release it as an acoustic version, unplugged if you will. This left sure feels right.



From Blabbermouth:

FemaleFirst.co.uk is reporting that Sharon Osbourne has had to have urinals fitted throughout her house ? because husband Ozzy keeps peeing on the toilet seat.

Sharon had the bathroom fixtures installed at her Buckinghamshire estate in the U.K. after becoming fed up with Ozzy missing the target whenever he used the toilet.

She said: "We have to have urinals everywhere because Ozzy always misses the target and there’s pee all over the seat."

Meanwhile, Sharon recently confessed to spending a staggering $250,000 on plastic surgery ? saying it was worth every cent.

The 51-year-old star claims she was forced to go under the surgeon’s knife after a stomach-stapling operation helped her lose weight dramatically ? but left her with sagging flesh.

Fuck Lola… they’re going to have to get a trainer for Ozzy now! Can you see Sharon chasing Ozzy around and hitting him with a rolled-up newspaper?
I thought chicks liked it when guys leave the toilet seat down. One too many times have I heard a big splash coming from the bathroom, followed by some chick yelling, "Goddammit Floyd!"
Hopefully they?ll install a urinal over the head board on Sharon?s side of the bed.
What’s to keep the Prince of Darkness from shitting in the urinals now? Haven’t thought of that, have you Sharon?


In a recent interview with The News Tribune, ALICE COOPER recounted three of his concert performances that went really wrong.

On a show at House of Blues in Los Angeles during his Rock ‘n’ Roll Circus Tour when the boa constrictor he was holding decided to let it all go.

"In 30 years, I’ve never had a snake defecate on stage, and this one decided that was gonna be the night. And let me tell you something: There is nothing on this planet more foul? Except for Sebitchian’s B.O.

"The audience was laughing at all the wrong times, like during a C.C. DeVille solo, so I knew there was something wrong. I didn’t realize it at first. Then all of a sudden I went, ‘What’s that!’ ‘Cause it was a really horrific smell.

"It left I’d say about eight piles that if you saw it, you’d say a Doberman pinscher or a Great Dane would have left a pile like that ? and all down the side of my stage clothes.

"So now the (roadies dressed as) clowns are on stage trying to clean all this stuff up, and it smells so bad that the clowns are throwing up. Now I have clowns throwing up on stage and boa constrictor crap all over.

"And everyone thinks, ‘What a great ending for this show.’ How sick is that?

"Johnny Rotten (of the SEX PISTOLS) at the end of the show goes, ‘That was bloody brilliant! Do you do that every night?’

"I go, ‘Oh yeah, we do it every night. I know just where to touch the snake to make it go.’ Sounds like a trick Mike Fasano might know.

"Whoever was at that show that night got a show that no one else got. We had to pretend it’s part of the gig."

That’s funnier than shit. (No pun intended.)
Clowns throwing up and shit all over the stage? That sounds more like a GWAR show than an Alice Cooper gig. I’d pay to see that!
We’ve heard a rumor than Marilyn Manson has gotten wind of this, and soon will have 2 pooping pythons in his show. And possibly a komodo dragon with a sinus infection.
Sounds like what happened at the last MSE9 party at Paladino’s. Blue Meanie had stopped at the Chinese buffet on the way over to the gig. Next thing you know, Jasmin St. Claire is conducting the thong contest and BAM! ? Meanie sprays the audience when someone pulls his thong to the right. Good times.


Kim Roberts-Gudeman of the Omaha World-Herald is reporting that former MÖTLEY CRÜE drummer Tommy Lee enrolled at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln last week to film a reality TV series for NBC. The show will follow the tattooed drummer as he studies, auditions for the marching band and attends Cornhusker games.

It’s unclear how long Lee will be in Lincoln, but filming is expected to end in early November.

Lee has said he hopes to better himself through higher education.

But does the musician ? who has made headlines for beating up paparazzi, creating a sex video with ex-wife Pamela Anderson and urinating on a police car with Ozzy Osbourne ? really want to change his life?

Or is the reality show just an attempt to kickstart his career after leaving MÖTLEY CRÜE?

Pop culture commentator Elayne Rapping suggests the latter.

"Tommy Lee’s career is going downhill," said Rapping, a professor of American studies at the University of Buffalo in New York. She compared Lee to Osbourne, the former lead singer of BLACK SABBATH, whose career got a boost with his MTV reality show.

"Everybody is trying to get in on what has been the biggest TV phenomenon in years, especially people like Lee, whose careers have really plummeted."

An 80s bands career and their individual members are in the shitter. And it took a professor from the University of Buffalo to tell us all. What are the chances this genius whose last name is ?Rapping? is a Sludgeaholic? Next thing you know she?ll be telling us that Grunge is over too.
Well, she can’t be much of a professor if she’s comparing Tommy to Ozzy. Unless Bob Daisley is actually turning in Tommy’s homework for him, then she might be on to something.



The hard-rocking female glam metal band VIXEN roughed L.A.’s club circuit throughout most of the 1980s before signing with EMI Music in 1987. Known as "the female BON JOVI," VIXEN enjoyed national exposure with the 1998 release of their self-titled debut album and MTV’s embrace of the band’s first mega-hit, "Edge Of A Broken Heart". The band’s long out-of-print EMI albums, "Vixen" and "Rev It Up", are set for reissue by EMI Music Catalog Marketing on November 2. The two albums have been fully remastered and will be in stores in time for the reunion of all of VIXEN’s original members on VH1’s popular show, "Bands Reunited".

VIXEN’s self-titled debut was released in 1988, and fueled by heavy radio and MTV rotation of the single, "Edge of a Broken Heart", the album surpassed the gold sales mark in the U.S. and went on to sell over one million copies around the world. VIXEN’s follow-up album, "Rev It Up", was released in 1990, and the singles "How Much Love" and "Love Is A Killer" spent some time on Billboard’s Hot 100 Chart.

Next month, VIXEN’s original members, Janet Gardner (vocals), Jan Kuehnemund (guitar), Share Pedersen (bass) and Roxy Petrucci (drums) will all appear together on VH1’s "Bands Reunited" to reminisce about their start on L.A.’s Sunset Strip and their rise to fame in the late 1980s, before the onset of grunge in the early 1990s displaced metal at the top of the charts.

I thought Bon Jovi WAS a female?
Too bad it wasn’t a Madam X "Bands Reunited" special. Who wouldn’t want to see Baz and Bam Bam get back together with that other Petrucci chick?.
Remember back in the days when everyone had their favorite Vixen chick? Kind of like how everyone now has a favorite Spice Girl.
What?!
What do you mean, ‘what?!’ Fuck off!


Due to "manufacturing delays," Elektra/Rhino Vinyl has pushed back the release date of METALLICA’s "Vinyl Box" to November 23 from the previously announced October 26. The set will collect special editions of the heavy metal act’s first four studio albums, plus the "Garage Days Re-Revisited" EP and the import-only "Creeping Death" picture disc.

The albums "Kill ‘Em All", "Ride the Lightning", "Master of Puppets" and "…And Justice for All" have been expanded to double-vinyl sets on 180-gram audiophile vinyl with new gatefold jackets. "Vinyl Box" will be limited to 5,000 numbered copies and will carry a suggested retail price of $99.98.

How about if we all download it instead and print out our own copies of the artwork.
Taime, sometimes you make me want to take off my shoe and crack you in the side of the head with it. Don’t you know that it’s a federal offense to download Metallica songs?
These "box sets" will actually be shipped in metal tins, and 1 lucky winner will get the actual tin box that Lars played on St. Anger.


From KNAC.com:

OZZY AND SHARON OSBOURNE & MTV OFFER ROCK BANDS OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME IN THE NEW SERIES, ?BATTLE FOR OZZFEST,? PREMIERING ON MONDAY, OCTOBER 25TH AT 10:30PM (ET/PT)
Eight Bands Battle For A Tour Spot on Ozzfest 2005

Prepare for the ultimate battle of the bands! MTV, Ozzy Osbourne and Emmy award-winning producer Sharon Osbourne announced today the premiere date for Battle for OZZfest, a new, weekly, unscripted series, chronicling the intense nationwide search for eight hard rock bands competing for the chance to perform on stage on OZZfest?s worldwide 10th Anniversary tour. In addition to the opportunity of a lifetime by sharing the stage with Ozzy himself as well as other rock superstars, the winning band will receive touring money, brand new band gear and a possible record deal. In the premiere episode, Sharon & Ozzy turn the competition upside-down as there?s one big twist that the bands don?t know about – and that?s just a taste of things to come. To find out, watch the premiere of Battle for OZZfest on MTV on Monday, October 25th at 10:30pm (ET/PT).

?Ozzfest has been the launch pad for so many new acts like System of a Down, Incubus, Slipknot, Disturbed, Godsmack and Chevelle – all who have gone on to multi-platinum success,? commented Sharon Osbourne. ?Now we are taking eight bands and giving them the same opportunity. But life on the road isn?t always what its cracked up to be and our bands are going to find that out, the hard way.?

Each episode will feature these rock wanna-be?s being put through the everyday grueling tasks of an enormous tour as their rock and roll fantasies meet life on the road realities. With a varied crew of rock & roll characters, all born to raise bloody hell and all living on the same bus, fighting for the same dream in what?s known as a cutthroat business, anything can happen. Every episode delivers more trial, tribulations and eliminations by Ozzy and Sharon. The contestants are constantly faced with various tasks intended to test their strength, be it physical, mental, moral or musical, because in the end, only one band will be crowned champion and receive the Grand Prize package… if they?re hardcore enough to handle it.

Now almost a decade old, OZZfest is without peer in championing live hard rock and metal music. The ‘Fest has maintained its success because founders Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne understand its core fans and give them exactly what they want and enough of it to last them through ’til next year. OZZfest devotees even decided the 2004 lineup, by voting for their favorite bands at www.OZZfest.com. The survey attracted more than 65,000 fans during the first week of voting alone. The earsplitting extravaganza has earned a hallowed position in the busiest tour season with a relentless commitment to its core fans and the consistency of quality they demand as their birthright.

I give up. We don’t need another fucking reality series!
I think they should give the slot to Metal Skool and let them show these clowns how it?s really done.


Former Motley Crue Manager Allan Coffman’s widow, Barbara Coffman, has put up for auction an early collection of Motley materials including items such as hand written lyrics, posters, handbills, photos, paper goods, signed contracts and documents, pins, vinyl, tapes, video dubs, reels, acetates, promotional goods, t-shirts, even original negatives and slides from the early Motley days.
Motley’s Nikki Sixx had this to say about the auction, "They are assholes for selling that stuff..they tried to sell it to me for 10 k..and its my stuff…"

Nikki & Co. missed a great opportunity. Motley should have had the CRUE CASKET. Then they could?ve traded her even up.

From HardRadio.com:

JUDAS PRIEST fans take note – a message on ROB HALFORD’s official website at www.robhalford.com says that a revamped site will be unveiled on October 25th. Meanwhile, Halford and his bandmates (guitarists KK Downing, Glenn Tipton, bassist Ian Hill and drummer Scott Travis) are currently at a secret studio location in the UK with producer Roy Z (BRUCE DICKINSON, HALFORD, TRIBE OF GYPSIES) putting the finishing touches to their upcoming studio comeback, due out on January 4th, 2005 through Epic/Sony. Halford spoke to BW&BK recently about the threat of musical leaks to the general public before the album surfaces: "Oh it’s horrible," the Metal God worries. "(When we played Ozzfest) people were saying ‘Are you gonna play some of the new stuff on the set’, and we said, ‘Are you kidding?’ I mean, we did shows and an hour later we would come off stage and you could buy a CD of the live performance. I’ve seen it physically happen with my own eyes, (Which is the best way to see things, or so we’ve heard. Mentally, you just don’t get that same sense of realism.) by friends that collect these kinds of things. They let me know. We love the internet experience because it’s a great real time connection to our fans around the world but at the same time you have to police it. And that’s what we’re trying to do. We’ve got everybody under the blade, so to speak, if this gets out before the release date there’s going to be hell to pay."

I don’t quite know what "hell to pay" from Rob’s perspective means, but I have a hunch it has something to do with leg shackles and a cat-o-nine-tails.
Rob is 100% correct. This Internet thing has got to be policed or next thing you know some punks will start a Web site for talking shit about bands and making fun of them too. (Sarcasm mode turned off) 


METALLICA’s bassist ROBERT TRUJILLO revealed that the band have begun recording while on their current tour in preparation for the group’s next album, which he said they hope to begin studio work on in late February or March 2005. The next Metallica album will be the first on which Trujillo will contribute his bass expertise, producer Bob Rock having recorded the bass parts for the band’s latest release, St. Anger. Trujillo said some fans still aren’t shy about letting him know that they still remember former Metallica bassist Jason Newstead’s contributions and that Rock, not Trujillo, played the bass tracks on St.Anger. "Most people appreciate and are excited about the band moving forward… I take some shots about not having played on the album, but you know, Metallica fans are intense. They say what’s on their minds. All I can do is hit it hard and not try to be Jason or Cliff (Burton, the band’s former bassist who died in a 1986 bus crash), but just be myself."

I think I?d rather hear the new Modest Mouse release instead.



From RLS Records:

NEW WildSide CD!

WildSide has inked a deal with RLS Records. Their 3rd disc "The Wasted Years" has an official street date of October 12th. The 14 track release includes various demos, a few live tracks and B-sides that did not make their 1992 Capitol Records debut "Under the Influence." WildSide rose from the streets of Hollywood, and looked to have a lot of things on their side, but like many others, fell victim to the grunge wave. The band had played the circuit in various forms and eventually caught the eye of Barry Levine (KISS, Motley Crue) who went on to manage the group. UTI was produced by Andy Johns (Led Zepplin), was recorded at Eddie Van Halens home studio (5150) and they even did some co-writes. ?The Clock Strikes? (live version) which appears on ?The Wasted Years? was penned with Paul Stanley (KISS). Another stand out track ?Crash Diet? sounds very Guns n’ Roses like, and it should, it was an Axl Rose co-write with the late great song writer Wes Arkeen. Growing up in the valley guitarist Brent Woods took lessons from the late great Randy Rhoades (Ozzy/Quiet Riot) and his ripping skills show those lessons paid off. Woods had also done several years as the Lead Guitarist in The Vince Neil Band during the WildSide downtime. The band also released WildSide "ST" on TNT Records in 1995. They have reunited with 4/5 of the original line-up. Drew Hannah (vocals), Brent Woods (guitars), Marc Simon (bass) and Jimmy Darby (drums) will do select re-union dates this fall. At press time they are scheduled to play Salt Lake City, Utah October 22nd & 23rd.

The Wasted Years – track Listing:

1. Sintro
2. Hemi-Cuda
3. Easy as 1,2,3
4. Crash Diet
5. City of Love
6. Dance – Swing
7. Sweet Little Sinner
8. Just Another Night (Demo)
9. Makin’ You Bleed
10. Killing Machine
11. Hair of the Dog (Demo)
12. Kiss This Love Goodbye (Demo)
13. Dear God (Live @ Whisky-a-Go-Go)
14. The Clock Strikes (Live @ Summerfest-Milw.WI)

For more information please visit www.RlsRecords.com

More name drops than a novice newbie at the Rainbow on a Saturday night.
Any tour that kicks off in Salt Lake City is going to kick some serious ass!
NOT!



IRON MAIDEN frontman BRUCE DICKINSON is working on a five-part series about the development of the airliner since 1945. Maidenfans.com has followed up the original announcement, and reveals that the production is being produced by a company called Ricochet and is listed on their Current Productions list. The documentary is being made for the Discovery Channel and will be a series of five 30 minute features. It is being described as "Iron Maiden rock legend and professional pilot Bruce Dickinson charts the evolution of the passenger aeroplane." The series is due to air some time in winter 2005, but Eric Fetter – the writer at The Herald who made news of the project public – told Maidenfans.com "as far as an air date in Europe, Bruce said he expects it to be on there in February. It may also show on the Discovery Channel [in the US], but that’s still up in the air."

Not to be confused with THE Bruce Dickinson, legendary producer of Blue Oyster Cult.
No! Don’t say it!
What? "You’re gonna want that cowbell?"
Wa,wa,wa,what the fuck!?


Courtesy of Edna Gundersen and USAToday.com: Songs revisit the holy land of Ozz Is nothing sacred? You won’t find The Bible Of Ozz in the Christian-rock section of the record store. The gospel according to OZZY OSBOURNE leans more toward ‘Ultimate Sin’, ‘Thank God For The Bomb’ and his demo for ‘Facing Hell’. Those songs and 49 others track the metal demigod’s solo career on a four-CD box set due Feb. 9. The first two discs contain remastered hits, B-sides and rarities, including live tracks and demos of the contradictory ‘Mama, I’m Coming Home’ and ‘Won’t Be Coming Home’. The third Bible Of Ozz CD has a variety of collaborations, from ‘Iron Man’ with THERAPY? and ‘I Ain’t No Nice Guy’ with MOTORHEAD to ‘Stayin’ Alive’ with Dweezil Zappa and ‘Born To Be Wild’ with Miss Piggy. Among Osbourne’s newly recorded covers on the fourth CD are THE BEATLES’ ‘In My Life’, BUFFALO SPRINGFIELDS’s ‘For What It’s Worth’, THE ROLLING STONES’ ‘Sympathy For The Devil’ and KING CRIMSON’s ’21st Century Schizoid Man’. He and daughter Kelly close the collection with their duet of the BLACK SABBATH tune ‘Changes’, which recently reached No. 1 in the U.K. Which, oddly enough, was also the song that symbolically closed his career.

Is this the 3rd OZZY blurb in only a few paragraphs? Fuck that. They got more money than Michael Jackson at this point. Someone pull the fucking plug already!


MOTLEY CRUE vocalist VINCE NEIL will make a guest appearance on episode 14 (The District) of American Casino on The Discovery Channel. The show lifts the curtain on the day-to-day operations of the Green Valley Ranch Resort, Casino and Spa, a 450,000-square-foot lavish property and destination for celebrities, high rollers and locals alike. To help promote the opening of GVR’s shopping complex, the marketing team sets up an elaborate plan to host an employee party at the Whiskey Bar, while rocker Vince Neil visits the resort to play blackjack and judge a swimsuit beauty contest. Catch Vince in action: Oct 22 at 8pm Oct 22 at 11pm Oct 23 at 6pm (all times are ET).

I’m sorry, but the words "Vince Neil" and "swimsuit" in the same sentence just made me hurl. What did I miss?.
Who had this great idea? Clean him up in rehab, and then send him to a resort full of alcohol, gambling and chicks in bikinis. Fucking idiots.
Is this the 2nd Discovery Channel blurb in only a few paragraphs? What kind of SludgeWire is this?



MOTLEYCRUE.com reports that TOMMY LEE will appear on the following TV shows to promote his new biography, Tommyland. October 22 – David Letterman 22 – 20/20 25 – Good Morning America 25 – Larry King Live. November 3 – Conan O’Brien 3 – Live With Regis And Kelly. Tommyland will hit stores on October 19th. Written by Tommy with Anthony Bozza, at 288 pages, the hardcover is being touted as "the ultimate dish on the most notorious musical miscreant ever to dominate the headlines!"

Maybe one day there will be a Labeland or Ashbaland book? That would rule!
Why stop there? Why not a Tommyland theme park! Imagine the fun as the kids pile on his career roller coaster! Watch out for that last drop though, it’s a doozie! They could have a Tommy’s House of Horrors with a neverending loop of the song "Brandon" playing. Talk about nightmares. *shivers* Finish the day off with a cruise through T-Bone’s Tunnel of Love. Hope in the boat, drop the pants and start the camera rolling for that special video to take home and show the family!


Metal Blade recording artists STARWOOD (www.starwood-band.com), the band featuring Lizzy Borden (vocals, guitars), Joey Scott (drums, percussion, backing vocals), Marten Andersson (bass, backing vocals – ex-LEGACY, TAKARA) and Joe Steals (lead, rhythm, slide guitars, backing vocals – ex-DIAMOND DOGS), will be supporting M?TLEY CR?E singer VINCE NEIL on a UK tour in November. Upcoming Starwood dates include: November 15 at House Of Blues in Hollywood, CA (with UFO). November (supporting Vince Neil) 17 at Astoria in London, UK 18 at Town & Country Club in Bradford, UK 19 at JB’s in Dudley, UK 20 at City Live Arena in Newport, UK 21 at Rock City in Nottingham, UK.

Is this Sludgewire heavily polluted with OZZY & MOTLEY stuff. Or is it my imagination?
The name "Starwood" sounds like it should be the title of Donna’s life story… You know she’s had enough of it.


GUNS N’ ROSES have issued the following press release through Business Wire in New York: "GN’R Set the Record Straight There have been numerous reports over the last few weeks from various sources claiming that one person or another has been invited to join Guns N’ Roses. To set the record straight no one – we repeat no one – has been invited to join the band. We would normally not respond to rumours but it is wrong to allow a few self publicists the platform to mislead the media and Guns N’ Roses fans. We will let you know when there is credible news on this subject." Set your calendars.

Did we really need to know there was nothing going on with Guns N’ Roses? It’s pretty sad when they have to release a statement saying there’s nothing going on.
Guns N? Roses and the word ?credible? is a laugh in itself.


According to www.kissonline.com, on October 12th, after suffering hip problems for a number of years, KISS frontman PAUL STANLEY had hip replacement surgery on his left hip. There were no complications and he is currently recovering. The recovery will involve rehab physical therapy at home for 6 to 8 weeks. In addition, Guitars4kids have announced the newest eBay auction of guitars, that will raise money to benefit St. Jude’s Children’s Cancer Research Hospital. A Silvertone Apocalypse Special electric guitar, autographed on the body in silver marker by KISS vocalist/rhythm guitarist PAUL STANLEY will be auctioned off for the benefit. 100% of the Guitars4kids (www.guitars4kids.com) auction will go directly to the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital (www.stjude.org). Please note this is a charity auction. Please do not bid if you do not plan on buying. Shipments will only be made within the US. Auction does NOT include a case, but does include a color print of Paul with THIS guitar. Find this guitar auction at eBay under item number 3754713858.

How long before Paul needs lip replacement surgery? The human body can only take so much pouting before it gives out.
It makes me sad to think about Mick and Paul’s hips up in heaven. Maybe they’re up there with Rick Allen’s arm, Ronnie James Dio’s thumb and Tony Iommi’s fingers sitting on a cloud.
All they need is another hand and they can have a jam night!
Paul Stanley & Mick Mars will be playing bridge and feeding pigeons together before you know it.



POISON singer BRET MICHAELS, currently riding the wave of his new single, ‘All I Ever Needed’, kicks off his Freedom Of Sound tour in Nashville on November 4th. Confirmed dates are as follows: November 4 – Nashville, TN at The Mercy Lounge 5 – Cincinnati, OH at Annie’s 6 – Chicago, IL at Joe’s 7 – Bay City, MI – Westown Theatre 10 – Davenport, IA at Quad City Live 11 – Cedar Rapids, IA at Third Street Live 12 – Valparaiso, IN at McCools 14 – Fargo, ND at House Of Rock 17 – Mt Clemmons, MI at Hayloft Liquor Stand 18 – Cleveland, OH at Peabody’s 20 – Berwick, PA at Pepper’s Arena 21 – Pittsburgh, PA at Hard Rock Cafe 22 – Struthers, OH at The Cellar 23 – Wantagh, NY at Mulcahy’s. December 3: West Springfield, VA at Jaxx. 

All Bret Michaels ever needed is a better wig.
At least he doesn?t have to front a big story with a head band, hat or both. All those bluegrass folks are wearing some type of bucket. Bret will fit right in, complete with the fake southern accent he?s been using ?only? on stage since 1986.




From Identity Theft Records:

New Album! New Tour! Holy Sh@t!!!

First off, it has been a busy f*ck’in summer! Thanks to everyone on the Adler’s Appetite "European Destruction" Tour. From Amsterdam to Istanbul it was a blast. We played some amazing places and met a ton of great people. With the starting notes of "Welcome to the Jungle" to the closing notes of "Paradise City" I’ve never seen so many fans rock so hard, you guys rule! The BIG NEWS…from the second I got back from the tour I went straight into the recording studio to start production on the debut CD of my new band FASTBACK. It was kept quite so we could surprise everyone with a release date of Oct. 19th 2004. Luckily we finished ahead of schedule because info started to leak out so we have decided to release it early and it’s available NOW!!! FASTBACK : "The Pain of Beauty" – Identity Theft Records You can pick it up where ever you like but I guarantee you that the best price can be found directly at: www.michaelthomas19.com The important thing is that you get a copy because OH MY GOD it f*cking rocks! I can’t tell you how happy I am with the new album, from the songs all the way down to the artwork it’s killer. I know a lot of you have patiently WAITED for new music from me with my past bands for a REALLY LONG TIME, with nothing to surface, but believe me the new FASTBACK album is well worth the wait! So…SURPRISE!!! Go get it and give it a spin! Now that the summer tour and recording is wrapped I will be rescheduling the postponed U.K. dates and have U.S. dates in the mix as well. I’ll have more info on this up soon on the website. Also, I have updated the website so go check out the New Pics, Games, and more at: www.michaelthomas19.com and we will be launching the official band site: www.fastback19.com next month! Thanks for all the love and support from all you guys all over the world…I’ll see ya soon :)

Heart, Soul, Rock ‘n’ Roll, – Michael Thomas

Looks like Beautiful Creatures is churning out something other than their 2nd release.
Ashba hits the Whisky-a-Go-Go in Hollywood this Friday 10-22-2004, Alex Grossi has joined Quiet Riot and now Mr. Thomas has formed FASTBACK, complete with a full length release. As for the quote ?OH MY GOD it fucking rocks!?… The fans will surely decide.
Note to Joe, Kenny & Beautiful Creatures: Hey guys, step up and tell the fans what?s up. Sludge is here for you!

Jani, Donna, Taime, and bastard boy floyd
Sludge, Soul, Rock ?n? Roll

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