AN OKTOBERFEST MAILBAG FOR 10/15/04
With your host, bastard boy floyd!
Welcome yet again to my personal hell, the Metal Sludge Mailbag. Just at a time when I should be out drinking giant mugs of beer and doing the Chicken Dance. Everyone else on the Sludge Staff got to go out to Oktoberfest, but I’m stuck here answering the fucking mail. Jani Bon Neil is banging the St. Pauli Girl, Dana Brittingham is sampling the different flavors of wheat beer, and we’ve all seen what Donna Anderson can do with a bratwurst. Well, at least *I* have. That’s the stuff of legend! (No pun intended.)
Anyway, on to this week’s mail. Here’s some shit about a Baz autograph signing happening in Cary, North Carolina tomorrow, 10/16!
hey people-took this from the BAZ site. the words and letters came straight from the horses mouth. time for the sludgers to pull out all those SKIDS pics and paraphernalia for BAZ to sign:
SEBASTIAN BACH INSTORE AUTOGRAPH SIGNING
I will be signing copies of the ~FOREVER WILD~ DVD (& anything else you want me to sign) at Best Buy 237 Crossroads Blvd. Cary North Carolina 11 AM -1 PM Saturday Oct.16 CYA THERE !!!
This one offers a little more detail, and comes from Rock on the Decline survivor Jason L. from Drill 187, who also appears on our "Hey! Now That’s What I Call Sludge, Vol. I" CD, which you can still buy right here.
Hey sludge people!
Jason L. from Drill 187 here….Just got off the phone with Beth and Sebitchian Bach is in Raleigh, NC for his Jeckyl and Hyde play appearance…He was on the radio this morning doing an interview, when Beth decide to call in and chat with him. When he got on the line, she asked him why he refused to do an interview with The Sludge and he immediately HUNG UP ON HER!!! Hahaha HOW ABOUT THAT SHIT!!! Funny…Beth said she would have emailed this in herself but she was on the way to work and had to call and tell me about it…and she wanted all the sludge faithful to hear about Sebitchian’s latest denial of all that is Sludge!! He will be in Cary, NC on Sat. Oct.16 at Best Buy doing a DVD signing, so Beth recommends that all sludgers show up in their gear and harrass his ass!!! haha Well thats all, take it easy and see you guys soon!
Jason L. – vocals – Drill 187
Here’s an e-mail about all that from Beth herself!
whats up Sludge…. Sebastian Bach hung up on me today.. that ass!!! I’ve got a plan to the capture… hes gonna be a radio station in Raleigh and the dj told me the time and that he only has 1 body gaurd with him…. will it count as a capture if i hold up a sign that says metal sludge… or do I have to be wearing my shirt??????
Yes, Beth; in order to count as a Sludge Capture, you have to be wearing a shirt. We love your captures and we want you to keep sending more in, but rules are rules. We can’t go bending them for anyone and make it unfair for the rest of the Sludgeaholics!
But some of you Sludgeaholics in that neck of the woods need to go say hi to Baz! If enough of you go en force, you can’t be avoided. Don’t forget: the bounty for getting a Sludge Capture with Baz has been raised to $500! Think of all the crack you can buy with that chunk of change!
Be forewarned of Larry, Sebastian’s security guard. Sources say that he’s a nice guy but he’ll pull your neck out through your asshole rather than have Sebitchian go apeshit and scream at him all day for something Sludge-related. And we all know what a bitch Mr. Bach can be. Poor Larry.
I’m dying! You’re fucking hilarious. I just checked out the captures, and Smilin’ Mike is my new hero. Thank you… I was so lost.
hearts, Smilin’ Manda
You’re damn right, Amanda. Smilin’ Mike already seems to have quite the buzz going for himself. Sludgettes far and wide are starting to check him out and even adulate him. Now, think of the possibilities if he ever gets us a capture!
Here’s some Motley Crue related crap. First up is a report about Vince Neil’s new look! Apparently he’s in makeover mode now or something, and he’s been seen a few times trying out the new Vince in public. Luckily for you, we have some actual photos of Vince to share, thanks to Sludgeaholic Dave who sent these to us!
I was at the palyboy party at the Palms couple of weeks ago,,, I thought u wanted to know about Vinces New Look, hahaha
Here are some Pictures!
By the way, Im seeing Vince Neil live this saturday also in Puebla, MEXICO,, Ill let you know how it went and send some pictures as well
Well those are cute. Vince does look a bit better than he has in recent years. Whether or not he can pull off this ‘makeover’ thing remains to be seen, but it looks like his team of trainers, hair stylists, liposuctionists, and botox artists have a vision in mind, and therefore have Vince headed in some kind of direction.
What the fuck is a ‘palyboy party,’ anyway?
We’ve been hearing about Tommy Lee filming a reality show in which he goes back to college. Like we need another fucking reality show! But it seems to be happening, because news reports are coming in from all over. Here’s a few of our Sludgeaholics in Nebraska with the full scoop.
The first thing I thought when I heard this was SLUDGE!!!
The last possible person qualified to have a reality show, Tommy Lee, has landed one. He is currently filming a ‘reality’ show in Lincoln, NE as a supposed STUDENT at University of Nebraska-Lincoln. He’s posing as a student for a couple of months for a show
that’s going to be on NBC next summer. How in god’s name did his name get mentioned for a reality show? Anyway…
Of course, here in conservative Nebraska every possible group that can protest has been… There is apparently no other news than the Hung One being in Nebraska.
Anyway, here’s our beloved newspapers’s link to Tom!
Sludging since 2001,
I’m sure that by now most of your readers know that Tommy Lee is doing a reality show with him at college.
Well my son happens to attend the University here in Nebraska, and Tommy was in his psych class! It’s a large Uni so keeping him under cover hasnt been too tough, but my son being a drummer recognized him immediately. Apparently he is also going to "try out" for the marching band! Since we have one of the top football teams in the country, and most games air on television, we just might be able to see Tommy in the marching band!
Since I’m known as the "MILF" to my son’s fraternity, I might see if I can "bump" into Tommy on campus…
We’re not sure what to make of this. Again, it seems like the day of the reality show has come and gone, so it remains to be seen whether a show about Tommy Lee going to college would actually take off.
Unless of course Tommy pledges a fraternity and we get to watch him get hazed. Who wouldn’t want to see T-Bone in his underwear on the roof of the Sigma Pi house with his eyebrows shaved off and holding a sheep? Now that would be some quality television for the whole family!
Here’s a series of questions that we get asked over and over again.
Have you approached any members of Judas Priest about doing a 20 questions?
Hello! We did a 20 Questions with Tim "Ripper" Owens back on March 26, 2002. He was still the singer in Judas Priest back then, so that totally counts.
im not sure if your the right person to address, but get whitfield crane to do twenty questions! ugly kid joe was fucking awesome, and id love to see him pestered about reforming the band again. also, get vince neil. the stories he could tell.
Whitfield Crane would be great, and we’d be down for that if a) he were agreeable to do a 20 Questions, and b) if we could fucking find him. It’s not like we have a Rolodex in the Metal Sludge offices that we can pull out any time we feel like hitting someone up for 20 Questions. We need to have a contact, be it an e-mail address, a phone number, a CB Radio handle, anything. We also could try to go through a management company or other representative, but usually, dealing with those people is more trouble than its worth. Not all, but most.
As far as Vince Neil goes, DUH! Do you think we wouldn’t jump all over the chance to do 20 Questions with Vince? He’s been on our list for years but have heard he’s actually terrified of us asking him some of our near-patented style questions. Well, if he changes his mind, he knows how to find us, and we’re down. Come on Vinnie, we’ll be nice!! Promise!
Hey, you guys should do 20 Questions with Brad Cox from Grayson Manor (http://www.bradcoxrocks.com). He is cool as shit and Grayson Manor rocks hard. Especially "Down and Dirty" because it’s about getting smashed, fucking a girl younger than you, and just being awesome in general. The finest things in life.
http://www.belowaxis.com (my band’s site)
Brad Cox! Who in the fuck is that? He’s even more obscure than that Matt Mercado guy!
Speaking of Matt Mercado, here’s a few e-mails we got about the recent 20 Questions we did with him which got posted the other day.
Hey, I was puzzled for a sec when I saw the 20 questions on Tuesday, it was hard to remember exactly who Matt Mercado was though it kind of rang a bell. But when I saw it was the guy from Mind Bomb I about flipped. That Mind Bomb cd is one of my favorite discs of all time, and yeah it’s pretty obscure but it’s somewhat between glam metal and techno. I don’t know why those guys weren’t huger, that disc is one in a million. Thanks for an informative interview, that more or less made my week.
Where the fuck do you find some of these people? Always dug Mindbomb but I haven’t heard a thing about Matt in years. Sometimes I Used to see him out when he was in LA but haven’t heard a word about him since the mid nineties. I almost wrote him off for dead!!
I’ve seen Supermercado in Chicago a few times and they fuckin’ smoke! It was cool to see them get a plug on Sludge, they deserve it. They’re pretty outrageous on stage but the band is really tight. Good stuff.
Better yet, how cool is it to find out that Stanley from Life Sex & Death is recording again! What can you say bad about that.
Kiki / Schaumburg, IL
Mindbomb also had a song in the movie "KALIFORNIA"..not sure if they were on thew soundtrack, I remember it being in a scene where Brad Pitt was watching Juliet Lewis shop lift, I mean peel out in a car, from a trailer.
- Ace Lee Cherone.
Speaking of Matt Mercado 20 Questions feedback, this is some feedback from the victim himself! Apparently he was checking out out Gossip Boards and saw a thread about his interview, so he felt compelled to e-mail us this:
I read some of the feedback, it was hillarious.
I liked the guy who said "Who the fuck is this Mercado guy? Who’s next — the coat check girl from the Rainbow?"
That was classic and my band is still chuckling over it, ha!
Thanks Matt. We’ll actually have the coat check girl’s 20 Questions up in about a week.
Here’s some feedback about our Ask The Stars #10, featuring Enuff Z’Nuff’s Johnny Monaco and our 2003 Sludgeaholic of the Year, Mr. C.C. Banana!
I just wanted to respond to CC Banana, because it’s amusing as all hell that he linked me to his video that just happens to star the very celebrity I had been stressing over in my letter. I’ve decided at this point it’s time to give up the stressing and let the shitheel (the rockstar, obviously; not Senor Banana) deal with the crappy way he treats people himself.
So I just wanted to say thanks to CCB, and thanks to Johnny Monaco, who both made me feel better.
Now if I just had a hot pair of those sludge thongs to show off and a party with the Banana himself, life would be perfect.
See, Metal Sludge is here to help! We plan on having our Ask The Stars advice column updated on a regular monthly basis, and you never know who the ‘star’ for the month will be! There’s still time to get your fucked-up questions sent in, so e-mail them to AskTheStars@metalsludge.tv and we’ll meter them out to our lucky lucky celebrity this coming November.
Here’s some enchanting feedback about the Iann Robinson’s recent Thirsty and Miserable column update:
Hey Metal Sludgers,
I just read Iann Robinson’s latest Thirsty and Miserable review of the Good, the Bad and the Rest. Its pretty informative, to say the least. I’ll actually check out a few of these cd’s because of what he wrote. Its also cool because he includes some good punk/hardcore bands as well as metal. Anyway, my whole point to this email is about his review of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. He said/wrote "This is a fine offering for these guys, funny punk rock covers of Blondie and Led Zeppelin but I?d really like to hear them do a real record." Dude, thats the idea! You’ll never hear them do a real record cuz they’re not a "real" band. Its guys from NOFX, Lagwagon, No Use For A Name and Swingin’ Utters (all Epitaph/Fat Wreck Chords bands) who got together as a joke and for fun. The whole premise of Me First is that they ONLY do covers. Come on Iann! Don’t tell us you didn’t know…. Anyway, still an excellent read from Iann. Quick but dead on reviews. And he bashes Headbangers Ball and MTV2. Solid! The Sludge Strikes First! PunkRockCop
Doesn’t Ian realize than no one who comes to Sludge cares about the lame underground bands he reviews? His shit is out of place here and he needs to stop thinking he is so cool. Go home and play with your toy collection dork.
Hey, agree with him or not, we love Iann Robinson. Shit, I’ve never heard of most of the bands he’s talking about in his column, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t fit in. Iann offers a new perspective on metal bands and if you aren’t into those bands, either read it and learn something, or don’t read it at all. There’s plenty of other stuff at Metal Sludge for you to enjoy.
Plus, let’s say there’s a Sludgeaholic in the middle of, let’s say, Iowa, and some band called ‘Converge’ just happens to be playing at a pole barn in his town that weekend. Now, there isn’t enough to do in rural Iowa, and our hypothetical random Sludgeaholic has just read Iann’s latest column. He might have passed on going to see that Converge show, but based on Iann’s recommendation, the Sludgeaholic puts on his Metal Sludge t-shirt, heads off to the show, gets spotted wearing his Sludgendise because it makes him look so cool, and later that night, ends up getting his cock sucked by two chicks at the same time. Now our Sludgeaholic in Iowa is happy as shit that he read Iann’s column! So Iann is kind of providing a service for the Sludgeaholics, and he’s here to stay as long as he wants to keep writing his column. So there.
Here’s some shit about that Dirty Dictionary of Filth thing we stole off our Gossip Board and posted on the main page the other day.
there’s a fine line between funny and misogyny. i believe you have crossed it. not so funny.
otherwise i love the fuckin site.
Well, we respect that you feel that way, but remember, we only added a few things to it, and it’s pretty easy to figure out which ones we did. But the following Sludgeaholic wasn’t content with just that, and sent us a few submissions of their own!
Hey , I got a couple for your dirty dictionary of filth.
The Greek Picaso – It’s when You buttfuck your lady until you cum in her shithole, then you throw an empty canvas on her ass and watch her blow everything back out onto it. What remains in a modern art masterpiece.
The Angry Dolphin – It’s when you start off fucking doggy-style, then quickly pull out and ram your cock in her ass. She will instictively Arch her back and eek like a pissed off dolphin.
The Houdini – Again, you fuck doggy-style, start making noises and movements like your about to cum then hock a loogey on her back. When she turns around thinking your finished, cum in her eye. Also known as the David Copperfield.
The Rodeo – Hide a group of friend in your closet, then bring a chick to your room for some hot sex (on top of the covers, for all to see). Then on cue all you friends jump out and surround the bed hollering words of encouragment like ‘ride’em cowboy’ and ‘yeeehaaa’. Try to stay on top of her as long as you can, it’s not easy, she’ll be bucking like a wild bronco. You’ll be judged on style and length of time you stay on. Also known as the closet cowboy and the bull rider.
Hope you like them,
Guys, I love your site & 90% of the time I’m laughing my ass off over all the hilarious shit you guys write, but the dirty dictionary thing wasn’t one of them. Some of it was comical but most of it was just sickening, especially the parts about kicking women, blacking their eyes & things like that. Abusing women in ANY way is never funny &; shouldn’t even be joked about in that way. Not Cool at all…well except how you abused Eddie Jackson after his 20 questions….I guess you could almost call him a woman because he looks like a gay cupie doll. *Bobby…wineandromance*
Thank you for your feedback! We’re dicks, but we’re not assholes, so we do appreciate and read all the comments and thoughts about whatever gets posted at Metal Sludge. It’s important to us.
Speaking of abuse and Eddie Jackson, here’s some more feedback on Eddie Jackson’s 20 Questions.
What a rump-ranger. You can be sure that he checked to see what the 20 Question interviews were all about. And he still didn’t get it. He tried to come off like he is still in a chart topping rock band. They haven’t had a decent/charting single, that I am aware of, since Comfortably N….I mean Silent Lucidity. I really liked Operation: Mindcrime and Empire. After their next album I seen them live and I almost feel asleep during the show . We left before they were even through. It was like sitting in church hoping the preacher would just rap it up.
Anyway, this guy is a total assclown and should realize these days their style of music can only be found on the back page of Guitar Player Magazine right next to Gregg Howe, Doug Marks’ Guitar lesson videos and Cacophony. He blew a great opprotunity to reach a wider fan base besides the guitar geeks at the local Guitar Center. Instead he came off like a pompous asshole.
Keep up the good work.
Casey Caldwell-Arkansas Sludgeaholic Soldier
Man, I just read the Eddie Jackson 20 questions. I have the greatest respect for Metal Sludge and the only reason I ever bought Hanoi Rocks, Megadeth, BOD, etc was because these artists showed a respectful side to every fuckin fan by trying to entertain us in other ways than music, naturally thru Metal Sludge. This cunt named Eddie Jackson deserves the FU award. I have always hated Queensrych (because Silent Lucidity sucks) and this interview could have been used to win a new fan. I would be more than willing to explore music from Queensrych. But seriously, now I dont want to spend my hard earned money on this fucker’s cd . The only positive thing that came out from the interview (I hope so) is that it gave Eddie Jackass an insight of what a stinky vagina he is. I hope he reflects upon what he did.
I love you guys! Keep Sludgin!
I was just reading all the comments about Eddie’s 20Q and I’m not really surprised he responded that way – he’s not exactly the most personable guy in the band. My husband and I were at a M&G a few years ago and he got really pissed about how bright the flash was on my husband’s camera. What the hell did he expect – it was DARK in there!!! We ended up with a shot of him blocking his face from the light like a friggin’ vampire. Then there’s the comment about the fan club. Well, I was a member a few years back – that’s how I ended up at the M&G at their fan club only show in Seattle in 2001. At first it was cool – if you were a member you were guaranteed tickets within the first 5 rows of a headlining show (a hell of a lot cheaper than Ticketbastard, too) as well as 2 M&G passes. Hell, it was the only reason I joined – I even got front row once! Now it’s a "lottery" for passes and they only give out a certain amount for each show, and now you can’t even access the site without paying. So with no passes and no website, WHAT THE FUCK AM I PAYING FOR??? So I didn’t bother renewing – I already had all my stuff signed at that point and I sure as hell wasn’t planning to buy Tribe (what the fuck were they thinking?). But I must admit the other guys were cool, especially Mike & Geoff. But Eddie, lose the attitude – don’t alienate the few fans you have left!
what the fuck is up with little appolonia? why the bitter bullshit? the guy made a living out of picking four fucking strings! he should be thankful anyone would even recognize his name, let alone give a fuck what he has to say in an interview situation.
The Mighty Sludge,
Eddie Jackson must have had his mouth full of George Michael’s cock and couldn’t answer the questions fully. What a arrogant piece of shit!! I’m glad I spent my friggin $55 on the last ‘ryche show so this douche bag could maintain his rock star lifestyle and attitude!! He should look around at some of his not so lucky comrades and relish the opporutunity to talk with the people who spend their hard earned money to check out a show. Next time you guys get a interview with as little thought and effort in it as this one, wipe your a** with it and send it back (hard to do electronically but maybe a digital picture will do the trick)!! Makes us appreciate the Jason Becker interview all the more! I’m out like Eddie Jackson’s interviewing skills.
C.C. Lee Lane
Who the fuck does Eddie Jackson think he is? Queersryche? They’ve been irrelevant in the music scene since about 1990. A perfect chance to get a little good press & he blows it (big time!). I can’t say that THIS particular incident will have much effect on my like/dislike of Queersryche since I quit being a fan about 17 years ago. They are a lame-ass band who’s "key ingredient" (Chris DeGarmo) is long gone. Kelly Gray? Mike Stone? Give me a fuckin’ break! Yeah, ride "Operation Mindcrime’s" coattails – it’s ALL you guys have left! WORST 20 QUESTIONS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Michael Chandler (DALLAS, TEXAS)
Here’s a couple of e-mails from Sludgeaholics who actually complained about Eddie’s interview through the official Queensryche Web site.
Just wanted to say that I went to the Queensryche website and told them how much his 20 questions sucked. Reading it was a total waste of time. I would have rather spent that time removing my toe nails
hey sludge, check out my official response from the queensryche web site re:"pompadorous erectus" eddie jacksons 20 questions…how pathetic and dry could one possibly be?
>From: "Queensryche Fan Club" <email@example.com>
>To: "’jim’" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
>Subject: RE: 20 questions with eddie j
>Date: Tue, 5 Oct 2004 16:23:19 -0700
>The fact that he is a dad is probably why he was not light. He has had
>major stress lately so maybe he was misunderstood.
>From: queensryche.com :: public site [mailto:email@example.com]>Sent: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 3:46 PM
>To: Susan Tate (fanclub contact)
>Subject: 20 questions with eddie j
>eddies’ 20 questions with metal-sludge sucked dog balls…i mean why be
>he should lighten up a bit,look back at some of those home-permed circa
>1984 pictures of himself and realize how lucky he is to be where he is.
>the simple fact that he still has some semblence of a career is
>amazing.lighten up dude…have some fun….you’re a dad!
Greetings from Sao Paulo, Brazil!!!!
My name is Bruno and I?m writing to congratulate you for the amazing job of Metal Sludge in the last years. I love all the sections, reviews, interviews and all the stuff you put on the air. I?m just missing some material with Brazilian bands like Sepultura, Krisiun and Angra.
Don?t worry with such assholes like Eddie Jackson, who said something so stupid as ?I don?t even know who the hell you are!?. Don?t misunderstand me, I love Operation Mindcrime, but unfortunately, Queensr?che is not what they used to be, especially when I saw the band?s concert here some years ago. And, honestly, if someone from the south hemisphere of the globe knows your work, I can?t believe that the bassist from a well known band doesn?t know you, give me a break!!!
I write to a Heavy Metal site too (http://whiplash.net), and we face idiots like him all the time, but
Well, keep with the good work and stay kicking asses!!!!!
You guys are just pissed because Eddie treated you, like you treat everyone else. Your column is entertaining, but c’mon. I for one am happy to see things reversed on you for once. But you don’t care what I say, as long as I keep reading your page.
I was disappointed a bit by the answers Eddie gave, especially saying he too busy to elaborate on a short list of their classic songs. But after reading the piece again, I don’t think the piece as a whole was worthy of the uproar that has evolved from it. It is alot easier to be funny when being insulting, which you guys have perfected to an art and that’s why I dig you, while few people such as Paul Gilbert can be funny without the insults. Bottom line, the dude was in a hurry and if he knew he was opening the door to this backlash, he wouldn’t have participated.
I didn’t bother reading it until seeing the mailbag, and…well, it really wasn’t THAT bad. Softball questions, softball answers. His comments where he acted offended seemed to be in a joking fashion, but overall most of his answers did seem a little lazy. Still, far from the worst 20 Questions I’ve ever read.
Now, bring on the Dave Mustaine Rewind!
For those of you in Vegas the night before Halloween with nothing to do, ’cause everyone knows there isn’t much to do in THAT town, you might be interested in the following event. Who wouldn’t want to spend Halloween with "Taime Downes?"
Just wanted to drop a little info on you. Motochrist, Blare Bitch, Whole Lotta Rosies, and special guest DJ Taime Downe are doing Night Of A Thousand Creeps at the Boston in Vegas on Oct.30th. Can you put the word out. Great Show! Thanks.
There, we put the word out! We’re helpful like that. You’re quite welcome.
Lastly, here’s an informative e-mail from a helpful and culturally literate Sludgeaholic!
Just thought I?d drop you a line to let you know, it?s called Oktoberfest because it is a celebration of the coming of fall. It originated in germany, and if you?ve never been there, the germans really know how to party.
Ummm… yeah. That’s great to know. We NEVER would have figured that out for ourselves. Thanks for the tip, Hansel!
Hey, it’s not quite a party in the traditional sense, but any of you Sludgeaholics in Philadelphia who like that rasslin’ stuff should check out the 3PW championship this weekend. Includes appearances by our good friends The Blue Meanie and Jasmin St. Claire! Here’s the info:
Saturday, October 16th, 2004
Bell time: At 8pm
The New Alhambra (Viking Hall/ECW Arena)
(Swanson and Ritner Streets-next to Forman Mills)
Speaking of parties, we’ll have an update with more information about our MSEX (Metal Sludge Extravaganza 10) coming up in a few days, so keep an eye out for that. Just like our other parties, this one is not to be missed, so start making plans to hang with the Sludgeaholics on New Years Eve. I might even be there! You just never know.
bastard boy floyd
Sludgeschnitzels and giggles