Welcome to our continuing series of interviews with members of L.A. Guns. This 20 Questions provides you a look into the world of current (as of 5-3-99, 8 pm, E.S.T.) L.A. Guns and former Love/Hate singer Jizzy Pearl. Jizzy is a Sludgeaholic and even has us linked on his page! So as a way of showing our appreciation for that, we asked him 20 stupid and insulting questions, just like we do to everyone else. And best of all, we bring it all to you, free of charge! Enjoy!
1. What are you currently up to? (This is your only chance to plug your shit, such as CDs, tours, websites, etc.)
JIZZY: I wont belabor anyone with my infomercial, if you’re interested in Love Hate or LA Guns our websites are www.jizzypearl.com and LAGUNSWEB.com, respectively. I’ve also written a book called " I got more crickets than friends" and it too will be for sale shortly.
2. When you get up in the morning is the first thing you do
JIZZY: first (A), then (C)
3. Both L.A. Guns and Love/Hate’s new albums are being released by Perris Records. Do you realize that Perris Records makes CMC look like Warner Brothers?
JIZZY: Perris records isn’t so bad, with their help I’m going to be the Yahoo Serious of heavy metal.
4. Finish this sentence, “Going down on a chick is….?
JIZZY: What is "going down"?
5. Is it true you’ve been playing Sunset Strip longer than Lizzy Grey?
JIZZY: I am Lizzy Grey, I just changed the 1st letter of my name.
6. Do you plan on doing any publicity stunts like crucifying yourself to the Hollywood sign anytime soon? Maybe to help promote the new L.A. Guns record?
JIZZY: I was planning on breaking into the Virgin Megastore and shoplifting my own record.
7. Word of the street is that you never cum, because you think it will make you look old. Do you mind explaining this?
JIZZY: Hmm….everytime someone tries to explain Tantra they either get it wrong or come off looking like a weirdo-so I will take the cowardly approach and duck the question completely. Let it be written, the Jizzman Cometh.
8. We recently read the lyrics to the songs off the new L.A. Guns album. Most of them seemed to be in some way or another related to your chicks from the past. Our question is, how many songs off the new album are about Layla Dawn and why are you so hung up on her Minnesota ass?
JIZZY: Like anybody I take dramatic license and tend to exaggerate things in a song, this doesn’t mean that they should be taken literally, sometimes they don’t mean anything at all. As far as ex’s go, I have a new girlfriend now and I’ve moved on.
9. What still playing hard rock/heavy metal band should call it a day?
10. What does God look like?
JIZZY: God looks like Mr. Hankie.
11. Everyone seems to agree on one thing. You’re one hell of a talented guy. With this in mind, how come Skid wrote everything for Love/Hate?
JIZZY: I was nouveau rich and lazy.
12. We read that there are songs on the new record called "Big Little Thing" and "It’s Hard." Do you ONLY write fiction?
JIZZY: These songs are not about my dick…or are they?
13. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would it be?
JIZZY: I would be Madonna’s bidet.
14. When Tracii Guns watches you fucking chicks on the bus, is he just horny or is he really trying to card them to make sure they’re old enough to be with you so that he can keep you out of unnecessary trouble?
JIZZY: No, he just likes to watch his friends fuck.
15. What scares you more about aging? Decreasing performance skills or looking old?
JIZZY: if I can’t get a girl to lick ass on the first date, then I got problems.
16. What rock star deserves the biggest smack in the mouth?
JIZZY: A certain foul-mouthed collagen-lipped "webmaster" named Gideon Culman
17. How did it feel when you were in Love/Hate knowing that your roadie Cordell Crockett could go off, start a mediocre band (Ugly Kid Joe) and become more famous than you literally over night?
JIZZY: Yes, its true that Cordell sold 5 million more records then me. Its also true that he is penniless now. Maybe he can roadie for me again when I play the Universal Amphitheater on June 17th.
18. You have a book coming out very soon. Do you genuinely think anybody gives a fuck?
JIZZY: After you guys rip it to shreds, who can say?
19. It’s almost summertime. You know what that means for L.A. Guns singers. Any idea yet where or for whom you’ll be working next fall?
JIZZY: I’m hoping to stay on the tour, selling t shirts and the occasional Chip-wich.
20. Let’s play word association. We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts.
Bill Leverty / Bills got the "Nice guy" disease
Do you think paying $8.00 for a black & white photocopied 8×10 is exhorbitant?
Guess what! So does King Jizzo!!!
Instead of spending your hard-earned cash on half-assed merchandise, make sure to download these free full-color posters courtesy of www.kingjizzo.com. The posters are for private use only and may not be sold.
Gee, I wonder what band charges $8 for half-assed 8 x 10s? Props to Jizzy for giving away shit for free, instead of charging people for it. (Word has come in that Gideon was behind the free posters on Jizzy’s site. Well then…uh…eh… fuck it. Who cares.) So go visit Jizzy’s site as well as the L.A. Guns site to see who’s in L.A.G. this week and when their new shit is coming out.
20 Questions with Jizzy Pearl, 5/3/99
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